When you say, "... Last year my son supposed acted out sexually towards his half brother at his fathers house.. we made the necessary reports and he went into a bahavioral hospital for 6 months..." what do you mean exactly? I'm trying to determine if BM has a legitimate reason for not allowing Skids to come over.

In my state, short of a court order BM cannot withhold visitation- it breaches the child support/visitation agreement. Are you or have you gone to court over this latest bout of "hiding" the skids?

I haven't read you other post, so I'm trying to get everything straight...

Alexis G.

....I was asking b/c accusations seem to have come from both your BS half sibling and your SS- I wasn't sure if there was a connection.

It sounds like you've tried to put safety protocols in place to prevent anything like what happened before from happening again.

I read your other post and I believe you are now seeking the help of legal aid. I hope it works out for you and your fam. Please keep us posted...

Alexis G.

Honestly, if my son had half/step sibling(s) that were molested & supposedly acting out sexually, I would do everything in my power to keep my son away from them too...whether it actually happened or not, its just too frightening of a risk for any mother. I'm sorry, but I agree with BM on this one. I would ask for supervised visitation, and no over nights I don't mean to be unsupportive, but as a mother, thats how I would feel about it.

"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy"

"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere

For those boys who were molested, heartbreaking.

You know, we get on here and complain about the bratty way our skids act, how they are spoiled, cause relationship problems, etc. But no child has the power to destroy like the adults that molested those two boys.

This is such a touchy situation. While your BS perhaps is totally innocent of the accusations against him, if even the slimest possibility that it happened exists, then the boys shouldn't be together at this point. And even if you're 100% certain it didn't happen, and the accusations are false, what's to keep him from being accused again? And then he'll have to face all this over and over? Not good.

I'm sure your DH misses his children; could he arrange to see them away from your son for the present time? Maybe until everyone settles down a bit?

How sad. For your BS, molested at such a young age, and to have to deal with constant scrutiny and possibly being the victim of cruel lies, after being the victim of a molestation. And how sad for your skids, a mom beating them, and all this going on at their Dads.

I honestly believe that keeping the kids apart at this time would be best for all concerned, just to protect the innocent, be it your son needing protected from accusations, or your ss being protected from the possibility, no matter how remote, of your child acting out. This is not to say your DH or you should have the children kept from you. Where there's a will, there's a way. Maybe you could arrange for a sitter for your kiddos and take the skids somewhere for an evening each week, or your kids could go to a friends house, and the skids could see their Dad at your place?

IDK. There just doesn't seem to be a happy solution. Just remember that it is temporary. Things change, they always do. But your DH does need to find a way to be part of his childrens lives.

But let me clear a few things up. To begin with, the BM of the skids is using what may or may not have happened over a year ago as an excuse in a long list of excuses. She is the BM we all b**ch about, the one who abuses her children, who keeps them from a loving father and SM, and who manipulates nearly everyone around her.

As for the BS who was accused. I have my neice living with me. She is 8. Last year she went into my oldest son's room and attempted to touch him and kiss him. Luckily I walked in before it could happen, but the sight of her laying nearly on top of him is forever burned into my memory. About a month ago, I got legal gaurdianship over her. Crazy? Maybe, but her BM is abusive in many ways. She busted the poor baby's head open, wide, requiring 17 stitches. Big, huge scar in the middle of her forehead. Her mom made her watch the mom and boyfriend have sex. This is just a smidgeon of all that happened. So she lives with me, my husband and our 3 boys. I take precautions as well, to ensure she cannot go into their room without my knowledge. I do not allow them in any room together without an adult present. Should I have sent my boys to live somewhere else when she moved in? Should I have left her with her mom? Because she tried to touch my son? No, I should not have, and neither should sljones. She should take precautions, as she already does. She should not, however, punish the children. What does it say to her son if she were to say, "Sorry son, you have to leave this weekend becuase my husbands kids are comming over."
Talk about the child feeling unwanted. (Although, sljones, he can come here any time).

If the BD were to take his visitations regulary, this may not even be an issue, but here you have a BM (sljones), willing to help in any way for the BD to see his kids, and he is s**t sorry.

The kids from both sides have been through hell and back. Sljones's BK's were severly abused by another man, who scared the kids into making mom think everything was okay. He told them he would kill their mom. It did not take SLjones long to realize something wasn't right and take action against the man. Her kids BD lies to them about why he can't see them, or come get them. We have offered him money and to take him to see them when he claimed he could not afford it. He refuses, choosing to have own brand of fun, which often includes sleeping with whatever chick is available while his wife waits at home unaware. This is a sad situation for everyone, but mostly for the kids.

Personally, I would let the kids visit, with my son there, because even if he did do something, he would never get the chance again. As a BM myself, I would allow the kids to visit, but I would insist that the BD of sljones be watched closely, because I wasn't there and would not want to take the chance. If something happened anyway, then I would refuse visitation while the BS was there.

I do have to agree with bewitched, though. If BS is not there come visitation time, the other BM cannot use that as an excuse. It may be worth the shot of trying. If his dad will not come get him, call me. I will be more than happy to have them here. I will also be more than happy to deal with their dad, or better yet, get my husband to do it.

~IT WAS WORTH IT WHEN I BEGAN~