Things keep happening
That I can't explain, and I have a feeling SD14 is behind it. She's very passive aggressive and doesn't think I should have any say about what goes on in the house.
The latest examples include a mysterious stain on my BD4's beautiful off-white Christmas dress. When I put it in the washer in the morning (with other white clothes) it was unstained. When I pulled it out, it had orange stains across the front like someone had brushed it with something. I can't say it was SD, but I know it wasn't anyone else in the house and I don't think stains mysteriously appear in the washer.
Going through my purse, I discovered a $100 bill was missing. I had some money to do some home repairs, and now part of it is gone. Can't prove it was SD, but I KNOW no one else in the house took it and I KNOW I didn't spend it. And I KNOW SD recently went shopping and spent a bunch of money. Wonder where that came from...
I had two tennis shoes (they tend to come that way, you know) in my closet and now there is only one. SD is mad at me for taking her shoes because she keeps leaving them on the dining room carpet. Wouldn't put it past her AT ALL to throw mine away in revenge.
I haven't said anything to my husband because I have no proof, but things are getting suspicious at my house. The thing I'm maddest about is that dress. It was $70 (was for daughter to be a flower girl in her godmother's wedding) and now it is ruined. (Anyone know how to get a stain of unknown origin out of delicate off-white fabric?)
try dawn
washing detergent, sometime peroxide works wonders!!
as for you SD do you have a video camera? can you borrow one?
set it up in your room ---sting operation. then you have proof..
ask Cruella- she is going to our resident PI!!
hugs Cru!
“You will never be on top of the world
if you try to carry it on your shoulders.”
stain
Try oxy-clean on the dress. Soak it for while.
Video camera
I have been tempted to do that. But I feel like Chava, even if I had proof and shoved it in my husband's face, he would just get mad at me for saying anything negative about SD. The dress just really ticked me off because it was so unnecessary. And it was BD4's dress, not mine! (SD has put hand soap on my toothbrush before, which is really fun when you go to brush your teeth. It's not visible, so you just get the bad taste in your mouth and realize then what's going on.)
I Think You
I think you already know she is behind it, I once had a similar problem in my own household. I would absolutely not say anything to your husband, he will only get angry at you for EVEN thinking that. When she finds her stuff missing, broken, stained it will stop. Meanwhile put up a hidden camera in your daughters room, high up. Only you need to know.
Unfortunately
I think me doing the same thing to her will only escalate the situation. I am OK with her retaliating against me because, after all, she's only a child and lacks the mental capacity to act rationally. But to take it out on BD 4 is, to me, totally unacceptable. But my husband will not believe she has done anything unless he catches her in the act, and even then she gives him an excuse and he lets it go.
She eavesdropped on our private conversation in our bedroom behind a closed door and told BM what we said. He didn't do anything to her because he said he couldn't PROVE she eavesdropped. She told him she was in her bathroom and heard us. Not true because our two BDs were sleeping in the adjacent rooms and were not disturbed. And I never raised my voice.
She broke the antenna off our house phone by whacking it on the table repeatedly. I saw her doing it, but because I didn't see the actual whack that resulted in the break, he won't do anything about it. He says he has no doubt she broke it, but...
that really sucks
because how can you defend yourself?? or more PROTECT you and yours??
“You will never be on top of the world
if you try to carry it on your shoulders.”
I totally understand Elizabeth
My Dh makes excuses for SD12's behavior, nothing is ever her fault. I wish I had good advice but unfortunatly am in the same boat. I like the video camera idea, even if DH does not support it I would use it and show the evidence to her myself. At least she would know that you know what is going on.
~Evil
If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders. ~Abigail Van Buren
I Agree
You can't do nothing. If the camera doesn't work, then she needs to be taught a lesson of how it feels. Shes not a small child, this is serious stuff.
Amateur sleuth or Paranoid????
That's how I feel 99 percent of the time. The therapist recommends I stop policing so much. My SD complains we over-correct the kids. BUT...
Then if they don't like hearing it then stop doing the same crap over and over and over and over and over and over....you get my drift.
I didn't like my mom nagging me either so EVENTUALLY I realized that if I took some small initiative to do what I already knew she wanted because she nagged about it all the time then hey! She couldn't nag me about it.
SD thinks it's all me. I completely understand how you feel. With SD it is sneaking hiding stealing food or medicine.
It sucks. No advice right now (See my last two blogs!)
Peace, love, and red wine
She's doing
it to small things, but if you don't put a stop to it she might ruin something very valuable (perhaps something with sentimental value) in the future. These things don't usually get better, they get worse. I'd spend the money and web cam it, so that YOU know.
But you will catch her out one day
and soon her dad will aswell. You know her true colours will show soon.
I'm not sure what to say for you do. As an adult-step-daughter it will go round and round if you do it to her. She might even start doing worse things to you.
Maybe you should just sit tight and make sure you have you purse close by. Even have it on you and say well there a ghost in this house or something as things keep going missing. Then she can't take money out your purse. Get them lock safe to put you money and only tell you dp of the code. I don't know just do something or confront her as it does sound weird whats going on.
What has you dp said about the money going missing and dd dress being ruined? You sure he aint took the money for something?
Oh me too crayon
I am extremely sensitive about my personal things and space. No one, not even DH are allowed in my purse without my permission. SD made the mistake of answering my cell phone (that was in my purse) one day. I wish I could have said what I wanted to say but DH was there so I can't say what I would have said to my own which is "if you ever touch my purse again you will draw back a nub"! Funny how Dh's always want you to treat their kids like you do your own until they do something wrong!
~Evil
If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders. ~Abigail Van Buren
I agree
My purse is private. My 12 BD stole lots of money from me over a short period of time. She even bought me gifts with my money. She was so easily caught. I have always taught my girls to hide their money in their underwear drawer so they know where it is. I put their laundry away most of the time and one day low and behold my daughter had like 80 dollars in her undie drawer. I know it was not her birthday money or saved money. She was so busted. Grounded her for like 2 weeks. I also explained that since the money was missing I would be unable to pay the cable bill that month. I rarely carry cash and I think that was the last time I have.