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I've about had it !

doihaveto64's picture

Submitted by doihaveto64 on Tue, 09/18/2007 - 1:55pm

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So, last nite my SD asks me to braid her hair for her and I agreed. No big deal. Well, what came out of her mouth next was crazy ! The person who normally does her hair attends her school and told her that she couldn't french braid. So, my SD says," I will have the lady who lives in my house do it." Nonetheless, she repeats this to me while I am doing her hair and I think that it took an act of God to hide my hurt. Needless to say I went into my room and closed the door and eventually fell asleep. This morning my husband asked me what was bothering me and I told him about the statement that was made to me by SD. He was speechless and of course had nothing to say. My feelings are hurt and I am really over trying to even foge a relationship with this kid. What do you guys think ??

Stepmom_C's picture

Submitted by Stepmom_C on Tue, 09/18/2007 - 2:05pm

How old is your SD? If she's really young and you just got married she may not know what to call you. If she's older then I'd get your husband to explain "respect" to her but I'd cut her a little slack... But I do understand those hurt feelings!

doihaveto64's picture

Submitted by doihaveto64 on Tue, 09/18/2007 - 2:42pm

Thank you for the response ! However, my SD is 14 years old and it seems like she and her BF have "respect" talks every week. I don't know if she even listens.

Stepmom_C's picture

Submitted by Stepmom_C on Tue, 09/18/2007 - 5:48pm

Yeah, at 14 that's hard. I wouldn't take it personally (hard not to though) but next time she decides she wants a french braid I'd politely say "this lady is busy"...maybe she'll get the point then Smile

Anne 8102's picture

Submitted by Anne 8102 on Tue, 09/18/2007 - 5:55pm

Over breakfast, just say to your husband, "Honey, will you please tell the spoiled, ungrateful brat that lives in my house that she can stay in her room until she learns to behave like a human being?" 'Nuff said.

~ Anne ~

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Sebbie's picture

Submitted by Sebbie on Wed, 09/19/2007 - 1:33pm

Lovers do not finally meet somewhere, they were with each other all along.

I'm going with Anne's answer as well....NUFF SAID!

Hank's picture

Submitted by Hank (not verified) on Thu, 09/20/2007 - 10:12am

Ahhh, I'm a SD and a father of an 8 and 10 year old, if my kids talk to or about my wife like that it is dealt with post haste. The same goes in the other direction. The problem is not JUST the SS showing you a lack of respect it is a problem of the SS not learning to respect adults in general and dad is sending the wrong message with ‘That figures’. How is this kid going to talk to the first teacher he does not like? I hear so many comments on this board about disrespectful step children and I thank GOD my wonderful wife is such a great partner and so willing to quickly deal with issues of disrespect. Next time, tell the SS Crayon does not feel like giving him a ride, he can walk!

I have news for many of you (you may not want to hear), if your spouse will not deal with issues of disrespect you should ask yourself if your spouse respects you.

Colorado Girl's picture

Submitted by Colorado Girl on Thu, 09/20/2007 - 2:51pm

Our DHs suffer from the same "baby the BM" syndrome. It's not they hold a soft spot, they've just grown accustomed to the BMs temper tantrums and give them cookies instead of timeouts, so to speak. It's just easier that way.

I think of them more like princesses who think the rest of us are here to serve them and they can step on whomever they want along the way. Well this commonfolk says that you can take your crown at stick it where the sun don't shine.

And as far as his "cahonies" - maybe a swift kick in them will knock him down a knotch. He should be embarassed.

kathleen's picture

Submitted by kathleen on Thu, 09/20/2007 - 3:08pm

Hey there Do I have to 64,

I would not tolerate that kind of treatment from anyone. Next time she refers to you in that way or talks about you, simply tell her you aren't going to hear it. Tell her you'd be happy to braid her hair but not if she is going to treat you that way. Tell her you are all ears if she would like to talk about her feelings or something that is bothering her, and you would like to be a friend to her. But don't braid her hair or let her get away with that. Draw the line yourself and don't even bother getting your DH involved except maybe to tell him what you said. Remember, you can be kind but firm. Don't take this shit. Really, the longer you sit quietly the more it will happen. I'm sorry you're dealing with this. Do not let this little girl walk all over you. Setting boundaries will make a world of difference. I promise.

daniball's picture

Submitted by daniball on Fri, 09/21/2007 - 10:31am

When I first was married my sd was 14 and tried everything she could imagine to get rid of me. I learned that the more I showed it bothering me. I would tell her father and he would talk to her and it would egg her on. I just kept going and doing the things I would with my child and ignore the comments. It got really rough and at times I wished her to just go move with BM (who is a druggy deadbeat who has never had anything to d with her) but with time she changed. She now has a baby of her own and I was the one she wanted in the room when she was giving birth and the one she calls when she has problems. Just take a deep breath and try to remember that teenagers in general are a nightmare, when you add the step into it they are indescribably scary. It took a LOOOOOOOOONG two years for her to come around but know you are not alone!