God Help Me, I’m A Stepmother
Sung to the tune of "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen"

God help me, I’m a stepmother
Oft times I am dismayed
That DH spawned with BioHo
He so rues those days
Two of her five are his bios
And for this he’s paid
Strong liquor brings comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy
Strong liquor brings comfort and joy

Without a clue, her love was true
Naive Aniki came;
Relinquishing her innocence
Learned Step Hell is no game:
BioHo is a Moneygrubbing Ho
And she knows no shame.
Strong liquor brings comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy
Strong liquor brings comfort and joy

Before the skids had gone back home
Aniki slipped away,
DH found her at the closest bar,
On the barstool she did sway;
Distraught Aniki drinking gin,
Unto DH did say.
Strong liquor brings comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy
Strong liquor brings comfort and joy

Now to StepTalk sing praises,
All you within this place,
With sisterhood and brotherhood
Each other now embrace;
This holy hell of step p'renting
Fake smile upon your face.
Strong liquor brings comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy
Strong liquor brings comfort and joy.