Apologies now, this will probably be all over the place and long (just trying to paint the picture).

So I'm disengaged from OSD25 for almost 2 years, DH and OSD has a strained relationship (PAS involved) and DH is now (after years) demanding respect from OSD but desperately wants a 'normal' relationship with her but also refuse to let her walk all over him any longer and told her that. For some reason, every time she's done punishing him or showing signs, he thinks she's changed. OSD, more than likely, needs to visit to find out where DH really stands on his demands, after months of 'punishing' him (this is a yearly cycle with her) and YSD21 is NOW the mediator between the two of them, since she's not mad at OSD anymore.

YSD and OSD have an on and off again relationship now that YSD is older/wiser (different BM's) and for years YSD adored OSD and was under OSD spell, so to speak (where dh and I are concerned more so I) and when YSD stopped allowing OSD to influence her against US/Dh, especially, the two didn't get along as much. YSD always adored her dad and wanted to be a daddies girl but never really felt like a daddies girl once our DD was born (her words), my YSD tries to be who she think he wants her to be (agrees with everything he says even if she really doesn't as well). YSD also, really like/liked me but when she and OSD are back close YSD always act distant towards me (no b-day texts, ceased rare contact) but pretends to love me when we are around each other (all a show for DH). I don't play their games and follow their lead however, I have a better relationship with YSD because she has always, for the most part been respectful towards me. And that's all that matters at this point. YSD also, always acted as though our 4 Bk's didn't exsist (even made a comment "not another one" when YDS7 was born to OSD who told me) until we visit and she see's them (no b-day calls, no calls period unless DH ask her have she talked to them, etc). She, deep down resent our Bk's and my existence but will never let DH know it.

Once DH and I started setting boundaries with OSD, YSD learned what NOT to do and found a somewhat interest in our Bk's (last year to be exact) and called our ODS18/now on his b-day and posted a Facebook status for our DD b-day, calling her "princess" and all. DD doesn't even get on fb and YSD knows it but wanted DH and i (she has been deleted from my fb since then) to see it but I showed DD14/now the post anyway and even she was puzzled and asked why USD didn't just call or text her. Just some background of YSD tactics since I've never blogged about her. Here is the latest.

DH called YSD on Thanksgiving to wish her a happy holiday (on speaker phone) and she informed him that they (she and OSD(who was banned by DH from our home last year for her attitude, then shortly he renigged) are coming down for the "January" b-days. Our DS7, DD14 and YSD22, 1st, 6th and 8th. Now, YSD has always pretended as though she didn't know their b-days (one which is 2 days before hers, DD) in the past, if DH asked her if she called them but now that she is playing mediator between DH and OSD, she wants to show up to celebrate their b-days??? DH is very happy but I'm not so much. It took years for me to accept that YSD would "grow up soon" (DH and his family's words) and accept she had half siblings but the thought of her USING our kids as an excuse and to fix OSD and DH's relationship and come herself (to be up DH's ass) has me livid right now. And the saddest part is our kids are excited their sisters are coming for the b-days and to visit. Our OBS18 has even asked if they would be here for Christmas so he can make sure he get them a gift as well to not leave them out.

The two oldest of ours 18 and 14 was about ready to give up and follow the YSD's lead and hated how the OSD treated their parents (DH and I) but now they seem to feel important, honored and finally accepted and I can strangle my DH for being happy right now because I'm sure in the back of his mind he knows the truth but who am I to rain on their parades. I'm seriously thinking about booking a spa weekend to avoid their fake asses and possible drama but I don't want our kids to feel slighted or unimportant.I also am trying to give them the benefit of the doubt that they may really want to finally feel like part of the family since they are the ones who has alienated themselves. I guess this visit will reveal the true motives.