Hello, I'm new to this forum. I need an outlet and a stranger's opinion, that's an outsider. I have been with my husband for almost 9 yrs and married 4 out of the 9. This is our second marriage, for both of us. I sit here daily and ask myself, if I've done the right thing in getting married a second time around. First, my husband and I , just the two of us, are great! Couldn't have picked a better husband for myself, but he sucks at being a father to both his daughter's and is not a stepfather to my son or daughter. He just can't deal with anything. His ex wife has been a nightmare from day one. He's the one that left their marriage after 10 yrs. She's is the most vindictive person, I've ever came across. She refuses to work. Barely worked through their marriage. Lives off the government, her dad and my husband's child support. This Christmas, she has asked her church for donations, for gifts, for her two daughters, because she refuses to work and support them. She has came after us, for anything and everything she can. She even wanted a percentage of my husband's quarterly bonuses, that are just 200.00 before taxes. She always uses her children as pawns and gets them against their own father. Lies after lies through the years. She left her girls on our doorstep, stating that she cannot do it anymore. They were with us for 3 months through the holidays and refused to see them. When she would talk to them on the phone, she would try and tell them that their dad was keeping them from her!! So, we got an attorney and was trying to get full custody of both the girls. Once she found out that she would No longer get child support, she wanted them back ASAP and demanded the clothes that I bought both girls for school, because they were only dropped off with 3pairs each. We couldn't take it further in court, because we were tapped out on money, trying to support4 kids. We spent thousands. So, she got them back and was the greatest mother. My husband's youngest daughter, now 12...been around her since she was 4, is a complete nightmare. She has a ton of emotional issues. Her mom has had her on meds for ADHD and other things...always brings a bag of meds to take with her. Crazy! This cold is still developing! How can a mother put their child on any meds, without a true diagnosis?? Well, she's 12 now and has been diagnosed with bipolar, ADD and some other behavioral issue. I wonder why?? I blame both my husband and his ex. My husband has never had a backbone, when it comes to his ex. Has never had a backbone with his 2 daughter's either..both now, 12 and 17. It has been a complete nightmare. He doesn't have a relationship with my 20yr old daughter, or my 14 yr old son. They don't respect him. He's never put the time and effort into a true relationship with either of them, like I have with his daughter's. When his daughter's would come to our home, they had their own room, dinner meals were planned around them and I would refuse to do any family activities without then here, because I wanted them to feel that this was their home too. That backfired. No matter how much I tried, I would get a knife in my back from his kids. The ex wife didn't like us having a relationship. She would get jealous and all hell would break loose. Just 6 months ago...she tried saying that my son had sexually molested her youngest because of all her emotional and sexual problems!!! Let me tell you...every weekend his girls would come over, my son didn't want to be home around then. Especially the youngest one. He couldn't stand her because she always lied, would try and set him up. So, he would leave and be at a friend's house the majority of the weekend. That really sucked for me, because I work full time and the weekend I could spend with my kids. Finally, when the ex tried accusing my son...I said no more. I can't have your daughter around my son, to ruin his life. The daughter lies all the time and so does the mother. They can't be trusted. So, its been almost 2yrs now, where his girls have not been in my home for a weekend. We're going to try this coming weekend to have his youngest over for a night, but my son will be away at his dad's home. I have so many mixed feelings. I feel its going to be the same old bullcrap, of her throwing tantrums and wanting to call her mom over nothing!!! Happened every weekend we had her. My husband allows her to call her mom, then he and I argue. I think she shouldn't be aloud to call her mom and complain about nothing and lie about what is truly going on. Its just always her behavior. I have resentment towards my husband because he's too immature to standup and be a true parent. Oh, yea...let me add...about 6 months ago..I got into it with my mother in law. My husband has had issues with her in the past not being a grandmother, or hacking time for family. She knows some of the details of all this crap through the years, but not all of them. Honestly, the kids only see her about 5x a yr and we only live 20mins from each other. She would pick one night out of the whole year to have his girls stay at her home and act like she's the greatest grandmother! Lol! She's highly selfish. Well, since all hell broke loose around the holidays with his 2 girls, she decided to put her nose in and act like she knows what's going on. I gave her an earful and told her she's not a mother or grandmother because no one ever sees her. She didn't like that of course, so she decided to befriend my husband's ex wife, knowing what hell she's put us through all these years. This is the woman that would say such evil and poor things about my husband's ex wife, but now they're friend's?? I told her that it was the biggest betrayal she could do against her son and she told me that she refuses to end her friendship with his ex. I proceeded to tell her that I could no longer have a relationship with her because she was the biggest hypocrite and for her to treat her son like that, was terrible. So, she and I are no longer speaking. I despise his mother, his ex wife and both his daughter's. I feel like maybe I shouldn't feel this way? Maybe the problem is me? What do you think??? Please help!!