House Temp Issue

So many of you know we've had theromostat issues and now a furnace (although minor) issues the past week or so. Thermostat issue is resolved, I'm still waiting for the furnace guy to fix furnace, should be today or tomorrow. I like him, so I'm not worried. It's also in the upper 50s, low 60s so the house isn't freezing. It was 62 this morning.

I arrived home last night, switched on the heat (it's ok since it's just the fan unit switch that needs replacing). SD11 pops out and helps me cook dinner and chats about her day. 1.5 hours later, as soon as DH arrives home, SD13 comes up. "When is the heat going to come on, it's cold!" Me, "It's BEEN on for 1.5 hours, it's not cold in here." DH says nothing. SD asks when the furnace will be fixed (she's only been home for less than the afternoon and she's already wining). I say, "When the furnace guy comes, then it will be fixed..." DH Says nothing. I remind DH later that evening that Sweaters, socks, make sure they put their warm sheets on their beds....he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah....ok, done with those reminders. (Note SD11 no complaints)

So I get up this morning and manually turn on the furnace It doesn't switch on the heat b/c the house is currently at temp (62 max since everyone leaves the house by 7:00-7:15 (basically all w/in one hour). DH asks me before I leave how to turn it off, I tell him, but say something like "don't forget to turn it off or the fan will be running all day and that's not good..." He says, well, the heat isn't on you know. I say, yes, because the house is NOT cold enough. He gets irritated...I'm irritated because HOW MANY TIMES do I have to explain this? He then says like, "You just don't care about anyone else in the house, we can all go Eff ourselves can't we? Maybe I'll just use the fireplace and get THAT going so it's warmer!"
I stand there in silence for a moment absorbing what he said.
Realizing once again, this is likely 100% about poor SD13.
Then I say, "Yes, maybe you can. Just make sure you turn off the furnace first. Maybe YOU can just deal with the furnace yourself."
I turn around, grab my things and head out.
By this time, he's apologizing like crazy, I'm fuming.
I tell him, "If it was colder I WOULD be doing a work around, but it's NOT that cold out. People can deal with it for a couple days. I'm dammed sick and tired of being the one to handle the problem, yet anything I try to do in the meantime is dismissed or complained about incessantly by everyone else in this house. I have the responsibility to do things but absolutely no authority to ensure that it's done well...and I'm sick of it, just sick of it."

And I left.

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Even when the furnace is

Even when the furnace is fixed, keep the max temp to no more then 65. You're the only one with access and if he's gonna accuse you of crap like that then might as well do it. Nobody is gonna freeze at the temperature and they can always put on a hoodie. If he REALLY pissed me of, my petty ass would find a way to disable the fireplace too }:)

yeah, I was thinking about

yeah, I was thinking about how he was questioning me a little last night about exactly how to turn on/off the furnace. My gut was telling me, he's going to relay this information to SD13 so she knows how to manually turn it on. NO. A 13 yo does not get to decide, once again, the temperature of the house. But aside from cutting ALL electricity to the house, which I don't want to do, or cutting off ALL gas to the house, nope not an option, I have to deal with this until it's fixed.

I have the new thermo set to a max of 66.

Tell SD13 to do some jumping

Tell SD13 to do some jumping jacks, that will warm her right up! Also, cleaning house is a good way to get warm. }:)

My SD would come over with short sleeved T-shirts in the middle of winter, I just bought her sweatshirts. I do not keep a hot house, I can't breathe when the heat is too high and it dries everything out.

"You just don't care about

"You just don't care about anyone else in the house, we can all go Eff ourselves can't we?

Yes you can DH and while you're there pull up your diaper and put and a sweater on, and you'll be fine.

To be clear, my answer of

To be clear, my answer of "Yes, maybe you can." Was in direct response to his statement.

perfect!

Daizy!! LMAO!!!!

Chef is an HVAC guy and the

Chef is an HVAC guy and the "no heat" calls have started coming in! LOL. I think it is about 42 F here in the mornings. I set my thermostat @ 62. Chef is ALWAYS boiling hot and likes to sleep with the window open even when it's in the 40s! I am almost always cold now that I have gotten past menopause and have gone off of bioidenticals HRT.

My DH turns the AC on and

My DH turns the AC on and aims it at us at night! lol. I have to bundle up and I don't want to get up in the morning! It's been in the 30s when I leave for the gym in the morning!

Ohhhh man of course he was

Ohhhh man of course he was asking so he could tell SD how to work it.

Growing up, my parents kept

Growing up, my parents kept the house at 60ish.

Everyone else didn't seem to mind, but damn, I was always cold! It was awful!

So what did I do?

I NEVER touched the thermostat. That was a huge NO in our house. When I read your first post about SD touching the thermostat I was like, "AW HELL NO!" (The no-touch-thermostat rule flies in my house too, though I keep my house a little warmer, 65-68ish)

I did, however, learn how to bundle the hell up and somehow survived 20 years in my parents' house.

They still keep their houses rather chilly (now divorced, separate houses) and I just make sure to bring a sweater.

No big deal. I apparently get colder a littler easier. My mom likes it cold. My dad hates to pay for heating.

If your DH is consistent and firm, SD will get it through her head. (But making sure DH is consistent and firm is the real challenge!)

What is it about divorced men

What is it about divorced men that makes them so sensitive to the needs of their children...sensitive to the point where they everything becomes a battle about how you don't care about the children.

DH and I had it out last night. Started off over something that bothered me, that DH then turned into how he loves his children and I'm always trying to push them out. He then told me that I always get mad about the little things, like the game controllers being on the floor or trash being left around. He told me that my wanting them put away (mere steps from where they are dropped) put him in an "awkward position". I asked him to explain why it put him in an "awkward position". He said, "well, because I don't think it's a big deal." I was like, "that's not an awkward position and essentially you're saying that even though it's important to me, you're fine with your kids doing absolutely nothing, so you'd rather just tell me I'm being unreasonable."

What is it about divorced men

What is it about divorced men that makes them so sensitive to the needs of their children...sensitive to the point where they everything becomes a battle about how you don't care about the children.

Seriously!!! ^^^^ In my household if BS7 was complaining that he was cold, and the house was at a reasonable temp, I would tell him to get a blanket or put some slippers on and DH would be right there agreeing with me. Now if it was SD20 complaining, DH would be turning the heat up and running around stealing blankets out of our room and BS7 room for her and if I dared say something he'd rip my face off and tell me I just hate SD. It's so stupid. I'm so glad I don't have to deal with that crap anymore!

Yep, he's done the blanket

Yep, he's done the blanket stealing too.
I went out the other weekend and bought an under-bed storage container for MY blankets.
Now they cannot be taken. There's a big linen closet downstairs, take them from that!
Oh, wait, there's NO blankets there b/c SDs are either already using them or they are being used for "rugs" or stuffed into the back of their closets/under beds, or "disappeared" because no one took care of them? I have not a clue where they could be!
He has no idea.

most divorced men are NCP so

most divorced men are NCP so they live with the guilt of not living under the same roof as their spawn 24/7.

I get that, but man, deal

I get that, but man, deal with your guilt...don't allow it turn you into someone who coddles your children and don't allow it to ruin your relationships.

I wish my DH would realize that he still has a responsibility - and a right - to parent his children. He shouldn't allow BM's criticisms or SS's pouting to make him feel as if his parenting instincts are faulty.

I know my DH feels like he's a "bad father" because he's divorced and I feel some sympathy for him, because I get that it must be hard that he doesn't see them all the time. But, he also feels like my pointing out that his kids don't pick up their trash is really just me telling him he's a "bad father", so all his hurt, shame, guilt, and anger over his divorce then gets redirected at me as someone who is just being mean for expecting his kids to pick up their own trash. Instead of reacting that way, why can't he say, "you know, my kids should be picking up their own trash and I shouldn't take it personally if someone (i.e. my wife) points out that they don't...I should maybe just say, hey kids, I expect you to pick up your own trash." I wish he would deal with his guilt and shame and then we could have an adult conversation.

We have them full time ad he

We have them full time ad he has it too... tbh I think it's to compensate for how much BM sucks and doesn't want to see them... it's just divorced dad guilt. Which SUCKS

62 would be freezing for me

62 would be freezing for me but then again I am in Texas

I'm still wearing shorts when

I'm still wearing shorts when it's in the 40s outside. LOL!

me, too! Most of the

me, too! Most of the downstate folks think I am nuts

I agree, for the morning it's

I agree, for the morning it's a little chilly, but that' UP from a sleeping low of 58.
NO ONE has complained about the weekday temperature EVER until now.
We are in the house at 62 degrees for a maximum of one hour. Then we all leave for the day.

because it's only for an hour

because it's only for an hour and it's during the time when the kid should be moving around, eating breakfast, getting dressed, blah blah blah, all of which generate heat.

Also, the furnace is broken and will be repaired soon. Surely the kid and the husband can STFU and deal temporarily, no??

"...it's during the time when

"...it's during the time when the kid should be moving around...

DingDingDingDingDing!!!!!!!!!

because it's only for an hour

because it's only for an hour and it's during the time when the kid should be moving around, eating breakfast, getting dressed, blah blah blah, all of which generate heat.

Also, the furnace is broken and will be repaired soon. Surely the kid and the husband can STFU and deal temporarily, no??

Bingo. And actually, DH and

Bingo. And actually, DH and I are there for the first 30 min, the SDs get up as we are leaving and have 30 min, so really, I don't think they will freeze to death as they are running around in a panic trying to get ready so they don't miss the bus.

62 is a good sleeping

62 is a good sleeping temperature though. A few nights ago, we forgot to turn the heat off at night. We leave it at 67 and I was way too warm.

I was replying to a comment

I was replying to a comment where someone said 62 was cold. I actually don't think it's that cold.

Also, sorry you're so offended. I hope you feel better for calling me out. My comment that you're referring to you wasn't in response to you.

You have it wrong in so many

You have it wrong in so many ways.

You may not think it's cold

You may not think it's cold but many people do. So many people in fact that your SD can complain to DH that evil SM is out to make her miserable in your home and he will take her concerns seriously. There are plenty of sneaky ways that SDs can create conflict between dad and SM, but this one she doesn't even have to do anything. At 62 degrees he can agree with his daughter that you are prioritizing your comfort over all others and it's making dad protective of her, which is exactly what she wants.

meh - in the words of my dad

meh - in the words of my dad "put a sweater on"

it's not like the kid has to endure 62 degrees forever...

by the way, my house goes down to 62 at night and warms up to 66 while we are all getting ready for the day. Then it goes back down to 62 until the skids get home from school.

Everyone deals with it.

It's not that hard.

62 would be freezing for me

We keep our house at 62. DH

We keep our house at 62. DH turns it down to 55 at night to sleep. He is the first one to day "If you're cold, put on more clothes." I swear, the man has a sweatshirt or sweat jacket in every room!

I keep my house at 66 year

I keep my house at 66 year round. I have MS and need it cool. I tell bs to grab a planet or wiener dog if he is cold. He asked about turning up the heat the other day...downstairs does get cooler. I asked to what...He said 70...heck no, 68 at the most.

I keep my house at 66 year

Planet or weiner dog? LOL

I would never be able to

I would never be able to stand 62 degrees. There is nothing worse than being uncomfortable (freezing) all day in your own home, and at that temp, a sweater wouldn't help that much, IMHO. I'm glad to be an adult and able to choose where the thermostat is set! It's 68 minimum. Comfort is something I'm willing to pay a higher bill for.

I just had to get up and look

I just had to get up and look - thermostat says 56. Heat was on one morning this week to take the chill out after a really damp and windy day. I'm in pajama pants and a tank top - and perfectly comfortable. You know it's cold if I put fuzzy socks on.

I don't torture other people with my never have the heat on nonsense but it's never over 68. Typically it's a steady 65 through the winter.

I grew up in a house where you were broiled through the winter and cryogenically preserved all summer. Ugh.

I'm far more comfortable in lower temps with layers than in warm temps with nothing left to remove.

Ok, all, here's the layout of

Ok, all, here's the layout of the house and why I have the thermo set a little cooler:

The thermo is in the coldest hallway of the house, downstairs.
The SDs rooms are pretty much right over the furnace, so their bedrooms and bathroom are the warmest rooms in the whole house - they get hot air pumped right in there.
They keep their doors closed ALL the time, so that warm air is not circulated well at all. So their rooms, bathroom, and our upstairs living area get really, really heated up while that hallway remains cooler. So the rest of the house may be at 65+ but that hallway is still only at 61.

Therefore, I turn down the heat at night so we're not constantly heating things up while we're sleeping. 62 in the morning is MUCH warmer in their bedrooms and upstairs where everyone's running around trying to get ready to leave. No one is lounging around.

If we are all home, it goes up to 66 in the hallway.

I'm not going to pay to heat the entire house to ensure the hallway is 68 to 70 degrees.

No one has ever complained until the furnace went wonky. Oh, no wait. It was 80 degrees this summer for an extended period and SD13 was still complaining she was cold...sit in one place and do nothing for long enough and that may happen (but let's not bring in her dietary issues either). The SDs also have the option to put their warm winter sheets on their beds (not changed since August but I digress) and to close the thick curtains on the windows to block any chill there, but that's obviously too difficult. For SD13 at least.

End story is I will not allow

End story is I will not allow a 13, almost 14 yo, decide what the house temp is. That's it. If she is the only one who's cold, even at 80 degrees, then DH can make it clear a sweater and at least socks can help. She is old enough to make rational decisions but as long as she's coddled by DH, and I have responsibility to pay bills and take care of house problems then you bet I will set rules.

If one chooses to get

If one chooses to get dressed, eat breakfast and hang out in the downstairs hallway, yes. But that would be their choice.

62 is shorts & t-shirts

62 is shorts & t-shirts weather come spring break here. Spend the winter in single digits and below and a luke warm 60 feels like a heat wave. After spending the summer at 100 degrees that luke warm 60 feels really cold.

Nothing wrong with adding layers before cranking up the heat. Same as removing layers or turning on a fan before messing with the AC.

Having trouble with the furnace is a great opportunity to remind everyone in the household that messing with the thermostat (in either direction) isn't the only solution. Kind of like when the power goes out and you learn to live by candle or flashlight for an evening.

If there's still a chill after eating a proper meal, being properly dressed and doing what can be done to conserve heat energy then open the conversation on the tstat. But to be wasteful and lazy in attempting to solve the discomfort problem isn't acceptable in that house. It's not in this one, either.

Maybe they'll find a compromise, maybe not. I don't think being a dog with a bone over 62 degrees is going to change the way OP handles her household, though.

Interesting way to follow up

Interesting way to follow up from your 62 is still cold declaration. Not sure how that statement addresses speaking poorly about SD. Feel free to enlighten me and get me back on topic.

What I was getting at is that your insistence that 62 is cold isn't going to change OPs view that it's not. Or that she'll see reason to allow a teenager access to the tstat.

LOL. This string is like a

LOL. This string is like a game of pass it along.

If people think I am terrible so be it.

I'm a big meanie.

}:)

I think DD was 6 before she

I think DD was 6 before she ever seen a wall furnace, and she was trppin' when it was turn on and off by a thermostat! it's tricky to control heat when the only source is a wood stove, but we manage to keep is between 68-72, you dont need sweats and you don't want shorts, and we do keep 2 windows open 1/2 in. Winter temp outside day 30-35 night 18-25, Summer 110 day night 60-80, One large room a/c in living room for most of the house, small window unit in our bedroom that run 24/7 in summer. Believe my DH would go BALLISTIC if power bill ever reached $80.00, EVER! That's for a 3 bedrm house, 2 tv's and satellite receivers ,sound system, 2 fans 24/7 desk top,lap top,and outdoor spa set at 105! and I refuse to live in the dark, if I'm in a room, the lights are on.
People live in what's comfortable, if I'm cleaning carpets or baking, I open the kitchen window or sliding glass door. And I hate taking a morning shower until the fire has been stoked.

It seems we have ours a lot

It seems we have ours a lot warmer than you guys BUT we never have it on at night, even if it's 20f outside. Our heating only comes on downstairs if we set it at 22c - thats 71/72 but then the upstairs rooms are too warm. I was trying to persuade DH to buy a couple of thermostatic radiator valves so that the rooms that get the hottest upstairs (bathroom and the two smallest bedrooms) would stay a bit cooler but it seems with a system like ours those things don't work. So DH would have me believe. I'm not convinced.

So, it's always too cool downstairs if we want to sit and watch tv there, it's the most exposed outside wall there so I guess it's that causes it.

Ridiculous that your SD13 is complaining like that, she knows there's a problem and that you have the engineer coming to fix it soon. It's not like it's all that cold. Brats eh?

You and DHs house…You and DHs

You and DHs house…You and DHs decision.

It may be from where I am from but getting ready for work in 62 degree house would be miserable! lol

This line stuck out for me:

This line stuck out for me: "I say, yes, because the house is NOT cold enough. He gets irritated...I'm irritated because HOW MANY TIMES do I have to explain this?"

It is DH and SMs house, so it is absolutely DH and SMs decision to make - together. It sounds like SM is the only one deciding and she cannot fathom how anyone could possibly consider 62 degrees to be cold. So her DH is trying to talk to SM about it and is being completely overruled. It sounds insane to me to tell people that they should not be cold because you think they should not be cold.

It's because we have a

It's because we have a furnace problem.
I don't want to turn it on manually b/c then DH has to turn it off before he leaves a few minutes after me. I don't trust him to do so. I'd like to prevent further furnace damage or an over-heated fan unit.

And HE'S not cold. SD11 is not cold. It's only SD13 who is complaining.

Wow, Cover. Amazing how some

Wow, Cover. Amazing how some folks think you're a big ol' meanie because you keep the house at 62. My parents never kept the house over 65 in Winter. DH and I keep our thermostat set at 62 during the day and knock it down to 58 at night (cooler when the house is insulated with snow!). 62 is shorts and t-shirt weather for us. Sheesh, *42* is shorts weather for me!! I only put on long pants when the temp dips below 40 because of the possibility of skin damage.

When I lived at home, my room was in the basement and I can guarantee you that the temp down there (tile floor!!) was in the low-mid 50s with the tstat set at 65. So what. I put on slippers and wore a long-sleeve shirt.

Question for you, Cover (you meanie, you)... Do you think your DH is complaining because SD is whining (and refusing to dress in warming clothing)? I mean, jeez, you're in Washington state. Not like you're keeping the house at 62 when the average temp is 99.

And the funny thing is I

And the funny thing is I never said I keep the house at 62. It's just the weekday morning get-ready time. All the other days when we are home, and in the evening, the thermo is set at 66. And that's in the cold hallway. It's warmer in the living and SD bedrooms area by far.

Plus, fireplace when it gets super cold!

And YES, I think it's because SD13 is complaining! She knows that if she does DH will instantly try to fix it for her. 100%! I even talked with him about this BEFORE they arrived at our home, like talked with him twice to head it off and all of that went out of his mind instantly.

I also think it's because

I also think it's because SD13 is complaining. After all, she is a COD and that makes her a speshul snowfwake whose fee-fees must never ever be hurt...

62 is shorts and t-shirt

62 is shorts and t-shirt weather for us
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
:jawdrop:
That is parka weather for us almost. lol

Oddly enough I don't bust out

Oddly enough I don't bust out the shorts until we're well into the 80s. But after typically dismal winters I think the second everyone is back from spring break they unofficially start summer.

Heading down south to see relatives over the holidays is always so strange to me - Christmas lights with no snow and heavy coats at 60. Pfft - by Christmas we've been dumped on a couple of times and dropped under zero a couple times to.

It was 55 in the house this morning when I got up. I turned the heat on when I left for work because the kids are here this weekend. It's set at 65 and I'm willing to bet they will change into t-shirts before dinner and then boo about being cold.

The heat will probably stay on from here on out but it'll be lower when the kids aren't around.

Willow, I'm Finnish and am

Willow, I'm Finnish and am well acclimated to cold weather. I will swim in Lake Superior when the temp is in the 60s. It's not unusual - on a fair, Fall day in late Oct/early Nov - to see me wading thigh-high.

What can I say? Some people are born to be cold!

Our office building is cooler

Our office building is cooler in the back, where the thermostat is, and warmer up front. The people in the back like it a little warmer so are always turning the heat up, which in turns makes everyone up front uncomfortably warm.

The people in the back can put more clothes on to be comfortable, but the people up front can't take any off, so just have to suffer.

Poor SD.

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