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Questions for a new therapist

BethAnne's picture

Submitted by BethAnne on Tue, 05/02/2017 - 9:39am

After a couple of years of trying to make my life into something I am satisfied with and failing, I am finally getting close to biting the bullet and going to see a therapist. I have found one that specializes in anxiety (which I think I suffer from a mild form of) and some other issues in my life.

He says he also covers families of all configurations but does not specifically say he covers step families. I am not sure really where my main issues lie and it is probably a mixture of a number of things and certainly being a step mom contributes in a small way.

He says he does a free 20 min phone consultation so I wanted to get some advice from all you knowledgeable people on what sort of things I should be asking him to check if he is a good fit before I start?

Thanks for your help in advance.

Comments

BethAnne's picture

Submitted by BethAnne on Tue, 05/02/2017 - 10:34am

I am thinking of asking him if he has experience with step parents as patients and perhaps asking him what role he feels step parents should play.

BethAnne's picture

Submitted by BethAnne on Tue, 05/02/2017 - 10:37am

I feel like mindfulness or a similar practice could be a good idea, I just struggle to stick with things like that though!

I am glad that you found someone who helps you eventually. I will try to be aware in the first couple of sessions where his biases lie to see if it is going to work.

Monchichi's picture

Submitted by Monchichi on Tue, 05/02/2017 - 9:54am

Make sure the therapist hears you. I can't stress enough how important this is and if you don't click, don't keep forcing the sessions in the hope it will change.

BethAnne's picture

Submitted by BethAnne on Tue, 05/02/2017 - 10:17am

I am not polyamourous but he does specialize in alternative relationship styles (including polyamory as it happens) which is one reason why I am considering him.

BethAnne's picture

Submitted by BethAnne on Tue, 05/02/2017 - 10:30am

Fair enough. I struggle to identify where my issues really lie myself so I can't expect more from others!

BethAnne's picture

Submitted by BethAnne on Tue, 05/02/2017 - 10:28am

I wouldn't be surprised if you got that impression from my posts as we have a different view on monogamy to most.

SourGrapes's picture

Submitted by SourGrapes on Tue, 05/02/2017 - 10:06am

You'll know pretty much from the outset if it's going to be a good fit. Just be straight forward about the fact that you're struggling with finding balance in your life, and that you have some anxiety (or whatnot) around steplife. Any therapist worth their salt is going to tell you if they think they can be of assistance with your particular situation.

Good luck! I love my therapist!

BethAnne's picture

Submitted by BethAnne on Tue, 05/02/2017 - 10:41am

Thanks. He does claim on his website that he wants to find a good fit and can reccomend someone else if he is not the right therapist. You have all given me some optimism that I can do this and find someone who will help me.

thinkthrice's picture

Submitted by thinkthrice on Tue, 05/02/2017 - 11:28am

"Are you a stepdad in real life?" If so, BYE!!! Just.not.the.same.as.stepMOM.life.

With few exceptions, i.e. those stepdads who step up to the plate and insist skid be disciplined--not the "yes ma'am" type who go along with their wife's BFFing and coddling of the skids.

Tuff Noogies's picture

Submitted by Tuff Noogies on Tue, 05/02/2017 - 12:16pm

i think your very first response was, IMHO, the best - "what role do you think a xyz-type stepmother should play within the family?" (the xyz-type being custodial, non-custodial eowe, or 50/50, whatever type of custody situation your family has going)

you may also want to ask what type of therapy they specialize in (there are various different "methods", so you can do some research after you find what type he uses). ask too, if they are faith-based, partially faith-based, secular with a touch of religion, or strictly secular.