We sort of won. It did not go as well as we hoped, but any change is a positive change.

The short answer: Child support got lowered from $2,900 to $2,000. Mathematically, that is a 30% decrease.

The Long Story below:
They spent THREE HOURS grilling DH about every thing he has spent money on in the last 2-3 years. Seriously, BM's lawyer had green highlighted pages and pages of his credit cards. DH didn't get ruffled and answered honestly for every item. The judge was getting frustrated and eventually ended it. Because this went on so long, everything else in the case got shortened.

Her lawyer referred to our apartment as a "luxury loft overlooking the river" LOLLLLLLLL. DH actually laughed out loud. Our bedroom/office is underground and DH refers to it as "the dungeon". Both of our windows look out onto a brick wall. Even if you went on to the roof of the building, it overlooks 6 lanes of I-95. It is a decent place but it is most certainly a luxury loft. I guess they looked up our address and we are in a district that has a lot of lofts? And the river is across the enormous (and loud) expanse of 95 and across 2 parking lots somewhere in the disctance.

BM was questioned, but not for nearly as long as DH (she maybe got 30-40 mins). DH's lawyer did call her out about trying to include her baby's nanny and cleaning lady in her expenses. He established that she lived in a mansion on acres with lots of new things, a pool, etc. pretty luxurious living.

The judge cut it short and wouldn't let anyone do closing arguments. BM and her lawyer were pushing for this to be a TEMPORARY reduction. This would mean that the second DH got a job it would go back to the original amount, AND he would have to go to court once a month (or pay our lawyer to) to "check in". We cannot afford to do that once a month, so DH and his lawyer vehemently fought that.

The judge eventually agreed and made it permanent. The judge agreed that DH had had a material change in his income and living situation, and that he had made every effort possible to get a job (was not purposely under-employing himself). What really screwed him is that we still have some $ in the bank. Apparently in the state of TX, they consider all your assets. The court was arguing that he had $300,000 in his 401K. DH kept arguing that that is for retirement, and even if he cashed it in there would be a stiff penalty (almost 50%) so he really doesn't have that much. Apparently in the eyes of Texas you should bankrupt yourself before trying for a reduction.

BM was pissed. She had asked them not to lower it at all, which the court disagreed thankfully. It was lowered to $2,000 a month, which is calculated based off of DH earning an income of $170,000 per year. You may recall, his income is $0 :? The good news is if he gets a job and it is less than $170,000, then we can file for another reduction based on that.

The other really crappy thing the judge did was that DH has to report via email to BM every few months the job situation. Why we have to report this to BM and not the court is beyond me. He basically has to just email her saying "Still looking for a job" etc. And he has to report to her immediately if he gets one. This is only good for ONE YEAR, so we are not beholden to her forever. Obviously if our situation hasn't changed a year from now we will be filing for another reduction. Also, the change doesn't take effect until February so BM has a change to "adjust her spending" which is garbage. And no backdating. BM tried to put in a stipulation that if it goes to court again we have to pay her legal fees, which the judge shot down immediately.

The judge did say that she appreciates that DH and BM communicate and do seem to care about the kids a lot, and act like mature adults. BM even defended DH on the stand when her lawyer was tearing into him about buying photography stuff. BM said something like "to be fair, photography is his one true passion and it always has been. He isn't throwing money away, he truly loves this. Sure, he should be spending less of course"

The judge said that if it ever goes back to court, she must be the judge. She said she now knows the background and they can skip all the BS and interrogation and make a quicker more sound decision. She said DH is doing everything right but needs to curb his spending.

My first reaction was pure anger and hatred. HE DOESN'T HAVE A JOB!!! HOW CAN IT BE $2,000!!!

But once I heard the whole story,and how very close we came to having a temporary order (which would have cost us MORE than what we are paying now!) I am getting OK with it. Overall, the change will save us over $147,000 after taking out the lawyer fees. I am hoping we can get it lowered in the future.

Not a total loss, but it doesn't feel like a total win. I was expecting it to come in in the $1500 range, so $2,000 really surprised me.

DH flew back with SS7 and SS5 last night so right now I am just trying to enjoy them and not think about their B*tch of a mother. They are so cute and sweet so they are a good distraction. Thank you all for your kind thoughts and words and sorry to keep you waiting for an update.