SS12 has friends over from time to time. It does keep him busy, but it also increases the stomping and slamming. And 12yo boys EAT.

Not sure with girls...SD10 rarely has people over.

Screw that! If the kid is a jerk to you to begin with why should you do her any favors like letting her bring a friend? Nope. And your dh needs to be smacked with a frying pan for saying yes without asking you!

Honestly I used to find it to be kind of a relief when the SD's had friends over, just because it did indeed keep them busy and took a lot of the pressure off when I just wanted to read and take a bath. I loved it when they had sleepovers.
But, big difference, my skids weren't little jerks so I was happy to host a couple of kids and order some pizza

My situation is different to yours. If by some miracle Chucky had a friend and wanted to sleep over with his friend, I would plan the most AWESOME sleep over that ever was. I would look after them and I would not mind the disruption.

My parents had a rule that friends were only allowed to spend one night, not two. Maybe a compromise would help? One night with her friend and then her friend's mom picks her up.

My SD TRIED to bring a friend over one weekend. Didn't even ask, friend just hopped in the car with her crap, when my DH went to pick up SD. We lived 30 minutes from BM, so had never even laid eyes on this girl before, and SD thought she was bringing her to our house for the whole weekend?

DH is very easy going and had he been single, probably would have let it ride, but I do not like surprises like that and he knows it, so he made the friend get out of the car.

It was weird because SD (now, 25) was usually not that ballsy.

I understand how you feel, trust me. SD used to have sleepovers at our home all the time, like every Friday & Saturday and with multiple children. I used to get so aggrevated because I felt like it was always us having to host these kids. Well I couldn't tell you the last time SD had a sleepover and I honestly say I wish we could go back to that. SD starting dating a boy and ditched most of her old friends (STUPID!!!). Now I couldn't tell you the last time a friend was at our house. The good thing about sleepovers is that we got to know her friends, we got to know her friends parents and most of all we knew where she was. Now that she is 17 we hardly see her (which perfectly happy with) however that means we don't know her new friends, we don't know their parents, we don't know where she really is and she has been in more trouble lately because she is starting to hang around with the wrong crowd.

With my SDs having friends over definitely creates an ally situation. Not against me because they honestly know better than to try that but against the other kids, usually my bio.
SDs like to 'gang up'.

I don't restrict friends, I leave that decision up to SO. But my BD also understands that anyone who needs an 'ally' is weak and not worth the fight. Maybe use the friend over as a learning experience. I can guarantee, like my SDs once thought, that having a friend over means they will get away with bullshit. NOPE. You will just embarrass yourself if you act out.

I'll admit, I'm a racist pig when it comes to "having friends over" When SD18 lived with us? It was HELL NO!!!! Not because it was SD so much, but because she was an annoying teenage girl. I was not about to have my weekend blown to smithereens by nettling, teeheeing, giggling, bouncy, trouncy, half dressed, slob ass teenage girls. No way no how. Thankfully DH felt the same way I did, so there were NEVER any friends "hanging" at our house.

However, with BS6? I could care less. I know he's only 6 but boys are so different. They just play, and chill. I can totally tolerate that. He's little now, so if he does have a friend over they only stay for 3 or 4 hours and then go home anyway.

So glad I had a boy, because I just can't do girls when get to be that 11-12 age. Nope.

As long as DH is home, I don't care if the skids have a friend over. However, I no longer do anything for the skids. When DH has to work, the skids cannot be in our house because 1) they cannot be trusted, and 2) I am neither a skid-sitter or entertainer.

I don't mind as long as it's made clear ahead of time. I like most of SD12s friends and have no issue with them. I need notice for SD10s best friend though, and can't wait until she makes other friends...
My rule is I don't buy special food or entertain. I may make pancakes for breakfast if I feel like it.
And they are EXPECTED to clean up any mess. If not DP does it.

I totally get where you are coming from. I had this same issue with DH and MSS.
MSS would only come over if he could bring a Posse of friends. MSS has treated me terribly over the years. Not verbally because he knows I would pounce on him if he did. But just rude behavior. Walking past me like I don't exist. Disregarding the house rules. Leaving without telling me. And when he brings his posse over, it is multiplied. His friends who are normally nice polite young men start treating me the same way MSS does.
DH had the mindset that if he had friends, it would take the burden off me. I had to explain to DH that it actually compounds the problem.
MSS rolls in with his buddies, trashes the kitchen, eats everything in sight and takes over the house. All while treating me like the maid, servant.
I explained his letting MSS have the run of the house is NOT going to fix anything.
I also explained that just MAYBE if MSS didn't have his friends over, he would be forced to interact like a normal teen.
DH finally "got it" and stopped allowing MSS to bring his friends over. We were all actually able to hang out as a family and MSS would interact with me.
He didn't treat me like the evil step monster and we could actually have conversations.
Not don't get me wrong....MSS is still a giant jerk. But he is much more tolerable when he is alone.

When I first moved in with my SO and her BS16 (he was 12 at the time) there were not very many rules. In fact, I was in constant stress. SS16 friends in and out at all hours of the night, eating all of the food, just loud and disrespectful. 

I went on to establish some ground rules that made sense for me and my SO without coming on too strong. Little by little, my SO and I gained control of our home. Established a curfew, SS16 HAD to ask IF his friends could stay over, and basically if he wasn't in at curfew, I would lock the door. A little intense, yes, but I needed SS16 to understand that things were changing and I was very serious about reducing the chaos in the house. He pushed back, my SO and I would fight- I was being mean and too abbrasive. I didn't back down. I stood firm bc I wasn't going to live in a environment where he could do what ever he wanted, whenever he wanted, with whomever he wanted. Not on my watch. Not in my house. 

4 years later, it's not an issue. 16SS ask for permission, he respects his curfew, and we have a better handle on what's going in and out of the pantry. Growing boys can eat. And In the beginning, I was spending hundreds of dollars a week on groceries, just so SS16 friends can hang out whenver - NA UH. Not today. It takes time for things to change. 

Have you met this kid before? I'm all for letting kids bring their friends over for the evening or whatever, but staying over, especially when you don't know them, is a whole different thing. Your DH is right, it would keep them busy, and tbh if the kid hasn't been acting up leading up to this, then why not? Why give another reason for the two of you to butt heads? I personally wouldn't jump straight in to allowing a strange child spend a whole weekend in my home, but there's no reason why they can't come over to 'hang' for a few hours. Hell it might even earn you some brownie points with DH and SD.