A Whole New Level of CRAZY!
SD11 and SS13 are over again for a whole week (our last one of the summer, thank GOD!) and SD11 has clearly gotten off the Crazy Train (or more like she was THROWN off!).
SD11 takes pills for her "anxiety", and she has to take one in the morning and one at night. If she misses the morning one, she can't take it anymore during that day or she will be up all night, hence the night time pill. Well, as per usual, she forgot to take her pill yesterday (even after I reminded her) and all hell broke loose!
She was playing video games in the TV with SS13 and BS8, when she started annoying them by making loud sounds and just being an idiot. They tried to escape her by coming upstairs, but she followed them and continued on her tirade. She was bugging her brother, making loud/rude noises (like cow sounds, pig sounds, going "DUH DUH DUH!"), insulting BS8, saying "What's your problem?"/"Take a picture, it lasts longer"/"Stop looking at me!" to me and DH...just being a disrespectful little bitch! Being the adults, we chose to ignore her (any kind of disciplinary action from us wouldn't have worked anyway! And I know better than to argue with an immature-"the world revolves around me"-pre-teen...plus it was the lack of medication making her go ballistic) but that just made her go even more psychotic :/ Finally, DH spoke up and told her to take her night time pill and go to bed. Of course, she didn't listen because she's above any kind of authority. So he texted BM (because apparently, she listens to HER) and told her what SD11 was doing. She said to take away her phone, which DH tried, but of course, she resisted and put it down her pants :S When DH started calling BM, SD11 got scared and went to take her pill!
Apparently, BM deals with this shit behaviour on a daily basis, and she was crying about how hard it is for her as a single mom, and that she does try (LOL)...Well, she's clearly not tough enough on SD11 because SD11 still acts like this! Just a word of advice, BM...When SD11 is acting, don't get her a new iPhone! That might work!
Later after the skids had gone to bed, SD11 comes up and tells DH (like she has ANY kind of say in our house) to take SS13's tablet away because he's "calling her rude names", and that BM told her to tell DH to do it. DH says that if he took away SS13's tablet, her phone would be going too (for all the hell she put us through earlier). She texts her mom and says "Mom says just to take SS13's tablet away and not my phone because I wasn't doing anything wrong"...UM, hello? I know you were without oxygen for the first few hours of your life, but do you not remember the psychotic show you put on for us not even an hour ago??? I couldn't help it, I just laughed out loud. Watching SD11 try to play innocent is the funniest thing ever! So what does she do? She started imitating me (said in a whiny grating voice): "OMG, I'm SM...I'm so blah...I'm so stupid...!" It took all my strength not to go after her and punch her in her fat little face! And she told DH that he knows nothing about parenting, to which we just laughed. So DH told BM about this extra tidbit, and she called SD11 to give her shit, and made SD11 come up and apologize to us 
It was half-assed, but it was something!
I just can't wrap my head around how disrespectful and rude she was - well, I CAN! BM is her mother, after all! If I had been like that around MY parents, I would have gotten a good ass-whooping! On TOP of being grounded for a month with no privileges. Anyway, I'm more than happy to let BM deal with her own Devil's Spawn - SHE made her the way she is, SHE can deal with it!
SD11 has no fear of consequences whatsoever, which is probably why she gets suspended so much! I told DH that one day, she's going to come across that ONE person who won't take her shit and put her in the hospital (at LEAST!) or have her arrested. She's a big (literally, she's like overweight by at least 20 lbs) bully who manipulates and lies to get her way.
Eighteen can't come soon enough, then we won't have to deal with her crazy, psychotic, narcissistic bullshit anymore!!!
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Comments
Why is bm parenting on your
Why is bm parenting on your house? Your DH needs to tan that kids ass and teach her who is the authority in his house.
I totally agree! He's tried,
I totally agree!
He's tried, but SD11 just doesn't listen because of all the poison BM has fed to her all these years, so SD11 isn't "afraid" of him - or any adult!
What we CAN appreciate, however, is that BM is on the same page we are about SD11's behaviour. She has to deal with it when SD11 is at home. To SD11, BM is God...so when we contact "God" to put it to SD11, she listens. If that's what it takes, so be it. It's only when she's off her meds that she goes psycho.
I'd LOVE to see DH put boot to butt, but she'll just cry "abuse" and yadda yadda yadda. So BM can deal with her! She can have her free weekends interrupted because she spoils her kids when they act up... *shrugs*
LOL SD11 doesn't even listen
LOL SD11 doesn't even listen to her teachers!
But yes, I see where you're coming from. It's not that we DON'T take authority in our own house, it's when she gets so resistant that we need to bring out the "big guns", so to speak. She's not scared of DH, but she sure as hell is scared of BM. And BM has told her that she needs to listen and respect us and whatnot.
She's at the age where she thinks she knows everything and no one can touch her.
It's super frustrating :/
I'm sorry if I offended you.
I'm sorry if I offended you. I've edited the post. I didn't intend for it to be offensive to anyone.
That was just my anger coming through with what we have to put up with...
PS. I didn't know it could be used in a NON-derogatory way...
I'm sorry, I thought this was
I'm sorry, I thought this was a "non-judgemental" site :? Guess I was wrong! *shrugs*
And if by "good parenting" you mean going on a $700 one-day trip when rent is due, then pawning your kids off because you have no food in the house, or getting an already-spoiled girl a new puppy AND a new iPhone when she needs braces...Or what about trying to return the new clothes the skids got from Grandma for money...Or leaving the skids alone at night so she can go up to the neighbour's apt to smoke weed? Or, and this is my FAVOURITE one, calling my miscarriage an "excuse" for DH not picking up the kids? Then she's a GREAT parent!
And yes, I laugh at BM because I can. Maybe instilling fear in a child will make me Mother of the Year, as well...
Moving on...
Honestly, both parents are
Honestly, both parents are awful. But at least mom can make the kid listen.
It's pretty pathetic that dad has to call mom to check a kid that is in his home. :sick:
Yep.
Yep.
Insult BM yet call on her to
Insult BM yet call on her to parent your out of control SD that neither you nor your DH can seem to manage? OH THE IRONY
If the child has "anxiety" to
If the child has "anxiety" to the point where she has to take meds everyday to control it - there is something seriously wrong. Is she being given other tools to control the "anxiety" in addition to the meds? Is she learning some sort of meditation? Is she learning to self soothe?
Is there a plan in place on how to handle her when she doesn't take her meds? For instance, she stays in a quiet, darkened room either alone or with one other person and distracts herself in a calming way like reading or maybe watching tv. (nothing violent or loud.) The plan should include what she should not do as well - being around siblings should be at the top of that list.
You are right - this is a place to vent. But it is also a place to get constructive criticism and good advice. I know you were angry when you wrote your post, but the careless use of "crazy" and "psycho" is a little off putting. The child clearly has some mental issues and other than popping some pills she seems to be getting very little help in learning how to control them.
I've got nothing. If this is
I've got nothing. If this is your real life, then I wish you tons of strength as you go through life living with a weak man and his children whom you dream of hitting, and thinking that any of that has anything to do his ex.
I've read through a few of
I've read through a few of your blogs and am amazed. Your SO is frankly behaving like a wimp, and he is setting both himself and you up for some major issues in just a very few short years. MAJOR dad fail.
That cellphone needs to be removed immediately and not returned until Dad feels she can use it in a responsible manner. As they seem to be on the same page, he should send the BM one short message to say it has been removed due to SD's bad behaviour and for BM to call on his phone if she needs to. As for the phone down her pants - kid you have a choice, give it to me now or you are going under a cold shower with the phone.
SD does not need an explanation, nor should there be any discussion. She is under the impression that she is an adult in your house with equal say, and this should be disabused immediately and her relegated back to child status, which is the correct one for her.
As for not taking the medication, that is a major fail on the adults' part. She needs to take her medication, she takes it. No discussion, no negotiating, no "in a minute". The correct wording for this is "Now - because I told you too". End of story.
Your SO needs to grow a pair and fast, and stop running to the BM for help when he can't manage - you are effectively giving this child the message that the only adult worth taking any notice of is her BM - this WILL majorly backfire on you.
And you are an adult in your own home and as such have definitely got a say in how things will work. Use it.
holy shit your sd acts like
holy shit your sd acts like yss!!!
i would say your dh needs to address the situation.... buuuuttt.... mine *does* and it doesnt change a damn thing. yss will just shrug, say "ok, i dont care", endure whatever the punishment is, and go right back to his antics. dh honestly at this point has given up. he told me last night his new goal is to just make it through the evening w/o having to raise his voice. that's sad.
and he lives with us FULL TIME, no visitation with his mother.