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O/T: imagining a band called BioHo and the Skids... what would yours be like?

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Aniki-Moderator on Thu, 05/28/2015 - 12:09pm

BioHo and the Skids. Hmmm...

BioHo (thinking worse than a drunk Courtney Love from Hole): I'm picturing a drunk, badly bleach blonde, lipstick-smeared, dressed in a barely-there ripped mini dress that's about to split from squeezing her busted can o' biscuits (that's a muffin top gone wild), staggering around on her chunky high-heeled sandals (cuz nothing that size can balance on stilettos), singing into a wine bottle that she thinks is a microphone as she has forgotten she's wearing a headset mike.

SD22 is standing offstage wondering WTH made her think managing this group of caca would make her any money and that bussing tables at a high security prison would likely be more fun.

SD18, who is a taller with a slightly smaller busted can o' biscuits, is playing guitar and wearing knee-high, lace-up tennis shoes with skulls all over them, a poofed out mini skirt (also sporting skulls) to show her fat thighs and knock knees (inherited from 'Ho), and a strapless bustier (more skulls) that cannot contain her bulging gut. Her hair is a myriad of vivid colors that make Kool-Aid look washed out and her lip ring has a mini skull dangling from it.

PrincASS15, the laziest boy in the world who is unable to stand for longer than 5 minutes, is lounging on a couch and using a computer to play bass for him as having to actually PHYSICALLY do anything is intolerable to the PrincASS of Sloth.

PigPen12, who is wearing scuffed combat boots, filthy jeans, and a t-shirt that while never be white even after 137 wash cycles in pure bleach, is the drummer and every beat of the drums sends up a cloud of dust and dirt that swirls around him like a personal tornado.

Spawn8 is dressed up as a mini version of the 'Ho and is crazily running, jumping, falling all over the stage thinking her dance style will be greater than Bob Fosse, Martha Graham, Twyla, Michael Kidd, and Madonna. But she is unable to keep it all inside because, after all, she is BioHo's spawn.

Mr. Pinhead is also back stage wondering what demon possessed him to marry this drunk 'Ho and considers moving to Irkutsk.

Comments

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Aniki-Moderator on Thu, 05/28/2015 - 12:29pm

Oh, they'd definitely suck! 'Ho has a voice that sounds like she's smoked 5 packs a day for the last 25 years. And that's her speaking voice!

Drac0's picture

Submitted by Drac0 on Thu, 05/28/2015 - 4:05pm

Oooh! Oooh! Pick me! Pick me!

My dynamic father-son Duo is

Plaid Man and the Tall Boy!

Watch in awe as two plaid-wearing man-boy and his freakishly tall kid roll onto the stage on a skateboard. They wave to the crowd as the skateboard suddenly zips out from under them. After they collect themselves from the ground they adjust their mikes and their guitars. They look at each other waiting for the other to start. Man looks at boy and urges him to speak into mike. Boy refuses, looks at man and urges him. The two start yelling at each other until finally the boy gives in and says

"Uh....Hello everyone. This song is called...uh....I Dunno."

They start playing the opening guitar tune to Purple Haze's "Smoke on the Water" over and over and over again.

Crowd starts booing and starts throwing things at the would-be-artists.

A jar of Nutella is tossed. Tall boy drops guitar and chases after it.

Man looks at crowd and says "You all suck! I'm going home to play WoW!" and leaves.

omgstop's picture

Submitted by omgstop on Thu, 05/28/2015 - 4:15pm

HAHAHAHAHAAA ... I actually met my dh on WoW 10 years ago, been together 5 after we both got divorced from our ex-holes, (at different times)...we now game on opposite sides of the bed heehee

Although, I play more D3 now than WoW. I have a WoW tattoo though...and I accept your judgement lolololololllll

Monchichi's picture

Submitted by Monchichi on Fri, 05/29/2015 - 2:58am

I can't laugh at this. "They start playing the opening guitar tune to Purple Haze's "Smoke on the Water" over and over and over again." This has been my reality at Chucky's school concert in 2013. It was TORTURE for 30 minutes over and over and over and over :sick:

I.hate.cats's picture

Submitted by I.hate.cats on Thu, 05/28/2015 - 7:01pm

"Cunttastic and the AD/HD's"

It pretty much ends up being a solo act by Biohag because she forgot where she left SD6 and can't get her BS10 to listen to her much less stand still.

She's wearing leggings that are only skin tight in the ass which appears to be consuming the rest of her skeletal body while she's consuming more Adderall and chasing it down with whatever brand of beer douche boyfriend drinks. She's sporting a tight shirt branded with some cause/band/idea that she knows nothing about but purchased anyway to convince said douche what a good match they are. She can't pick a song to belt out because everything offends her so she stands there complaining about how all of the drunken patrons at the dive bar where she's performing are staring and keeps ranting on about how dressing a whore doesn't mean people should treat you like one.

In true (C U N)ext(T)uesday fashion, she decides to announce that she's written this one herself while racking her minuscule brain for a Taylor Swift song that wasn't played repeatedly on the radio. When they start to boo, she sings 'I'm giving blowjobs for beer after this song' and smiles brightly at the round of applause and cheering truckers. She's glad her douchey boyfriend agreed to take BS10 shooting in the parking lot, it's hard to be her and she's going to need those beers.