On our way to church this morning, DH told me that he doesn’t like going to church with me anymore because SS14 doesn’t go anymore. We have been married nearly 2.5 years, and going to church has always been a part of our life together. I was so hurt that I turned around and went home instead.

His son has gone with us to our church maybe a total of 6-7 times. About 6 weeks ago, he went with us 2 weeks in a row. Now he hasn’t been in several weeks, and doesn’t show any interest in going. So DH can no longer enjoy an activity with me that his kid doesn’t want to participate in.

In that 20-minute car ride back home, I was basically told that I am responsible for the deterioration of his relationship with his children. That is not true.

Shortly after we were married, BM took him to court to change the visitation schedule from 50/50 to whatever the kids feel like. DH and BM couldn’t agree on an arrangement and so a GAL was appointed. The kids told their GAL the most terrible things about their father…that he has a terrible temper and they feel like prisoners in his home. I have a copy of her report and a transcript of the GAL’s testimony. What did the kids have to say about me? Crickets. I’m not in the GAL’s report. I didn’t even get an honorable mention.

All the nice things I’ve done for these kids. All the special meals and desserts I have orchestrated to lure them over to see their father. All the birthday and Christmas presents I’ve picked out, because he can’t be bothered.

Now he can’t go to church with me anymore because his son doesn’t go. He admitted that he doesn’t enjoy doing anything with me anymore because his kids usually aren’t there. As though that’s my fault. I’m not their BM. I didn’t turn them against him. Not long after we came home from not going to church, he and SS14 went to go sailing for the day. Neither said goodbye to me. DH knew that I was very upset and had been crying. He didn't bother to check on me before leaving.

SD20 is coming home from college tomorrow and will be here for a few days. I will be happy to see her, but I had hoped to sleep in her room until I can find another place to live. I am thinking of asking DH to sleep in SS14’s room going forward (there are bunk beds in there). It sounds like he would be more comfortable sleeping with his son, and I don’t ever want to share a bed with him again.

I am so, so crushed that I can hardly breathe. If you are a praying person, would you please pray that God will comfort me and that I will find full-time work soon? I have been involuntarily employed only part time for several months now. I badly need a full-time position so I can move out and support myself.