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CS Question

overworkedmom's picture

Submitted by overworkedmom on Thu, 05/14/2015 - 6:04am

Good Morning Everyone!!

It has been a long time since I have been on the site. Life is going great! Been crazy husband and skid free for a full year now! YAY!!! My kids are doing great, and are thriving and doing so well in school- just had to brag for a second!! Biggrin

I do have a question though. I don't know who else to ask but the experts on Stalk Biggrin and to rely on my on history. My ex had moved about 4 hours away and now only sees the kids one weekend a month. This put me back into the full custody situation with the kids. I wasn't going to change the CS until this past week when he refused to split the cost of a STEM camp that my son was invited to. This is a really big deal for BS9 to be asked to go - it is fully educational (he is going for Physics for goodness sake). His father's excuse was that he has to support his new family now. I get that to an extent but all I am asking is that he split the cost of something educational for his child.

Now... We got into a little bit and I hung up on him after he tried to say that because he was supporting his skid he could't do it. ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME!?!?! Skids don't get priority over bios... sorry. Not even when I was a SM myself did my skid get anything more than my bios. My question is ... should I get CS reevaluated? BD seems to think that it will go down because he has a new baby and a skid (which teenage bride gets CS for). What is your experience?

Comments

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Thu, 05/14/2015 - 6:43am

I can't believe he used his SK as an excuse not to help out with his bio.

How often are reviews done in your state?

Somuchdrama's picture

Submitted by Somuchdrama on Thu, 05/14/2015 - 6:58am

In our state reviews can be done when circumstances change. I would definitely go to court and have it recalculated based on the new schedule just to save future arguments.

As far as the new family goes, he will get a credit for his bio kid depending on the state you live in but it will not be very much.

Is there an online calculator for your state? Many have them now.

Somuchdrama's picture

Submitted by Somuchdrama on Thu, 05/14/2015 - 7:02am

*dup

twoviewpoints's picture

Submitted by twoviewpoints on Thu, 05/14/2015 - 7:21am

Virginia is three years for review unless significant change of roughly 25% in circumstances.

If ex went from two weekends a month down to one and you have something such as extra child care cost, extra traveling cost for exchanges ect you might qualify for review.

You could also consider going back to court to settle things like the extra activities and misc. new cost now that the kids are getting older and more involved. That wouldn't be considered necessarily a change in CS monthly payments, but in addition to CS. Is there anything in your current CO on extras?

So he wants to support his skid but not his own biological? Creep.

Snowflake's picture

Submitted by Snowflake on Thu, 05/14/2015 - 8:16am

I can completely understand that he has a new baby to support. Is the BM of the new baby working, did she quit to take care of his biokid. Using the skid as an excuse isn't a really valid excuse though, unless maybe he is supporting skid because of a change in circumstances.

I know that this isn't something that people like to hear, but circumstances do change. He probably does have more expenses, and he is paying child support. SO, it doesn't seem like this guy isn't supporting his bio. Its that his bio wants to do an extra, costly STEM academic camp.

I know this sin't going to be popular, but I am going to say it anyways. Is this a hill to die on. Will forcing him to pay this extra expense or forcing him to pay more child support make him resent you and his kid. I know that it isn't right, and certainly isn't fair, but it is reality. Will this cause him and the new sm to become so resentful that the kid has to suffer with them not wanting to take their even one weekend a month.

OP- I wish you the best and hope you can get this all straightened out.

overworkedmom's picture

Submitted by overworkedmom on Thu, 05/14/2015 - 11:39am

She does work. They are both active military so they live a comfortable life. Her kids dad is also in... so I am not sure what the problem with splitting the camp was.

Snowflake's picture

Submitted by Snowflake on Thu, 05/14/2015 - 12:19pm

In that case, imho, it is pretty shitty that he isn't willing to pay half. I wouldn't even bother to argue with him then, I would just ask the court to include this expense.

NoWireCoatHangarsEVER's picture

Submitted by NoWireCoatHanga... on Thu, 05/14/2015 - 10:44am

In Florida, a new baby will never ever make your child support go down. It may keep it from going up, but not down. Stepkids wouldn't count in the math either. What would count is that you don't have him 50/50 anymore but more like 90/10 and that would definitey make child support go up in Florida. So I say go for it!!!!!!!!!

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Thu, 05/14/2015 - 5:57pm

Why is it wrong?

What if his income decreases,would it also be wrong for him to go in and ask for CS to be lowered?

not2sureimsaneanymore's picture

Submitted by not2sureimsanea... on Thu, 05/14/2015 - 6:04pm

I figure out if it's worth it to take him back for CS because the cost might not be worth an increase of $100 a month. You'd be paying the lawyer fee with that for years.

Anything extra is, unfortunately, at his discretion so it was his right to refuse, but you have a right to take him back for an increase. I do know that in some states, they make allotments for new babies, so you also have to figure if that's worth it. I know DH's CS would be decreased by 1/5 if BM took us back to court because we have a child together. Judges will usually only include an increase for extracurriculars IF both parents agreed to the extra and if he doesn't feel like it, you're still going to be footing the bill.

I would do a cost vs. return evaluation on this.