Ok I am a person that usually tries to see both sides but when it concerns BM I just can't. Maybe I am too close to the situation or maybe we have a legit wackadoodle on our hands. Here is the story. According to CO if the parties can not agree on when to get the kids then they are to revert to 1st, 3rd, and 5th for the dad (in my state that is standard). Dh never enforced this until the cps incident and then he thought it would be best to just stick to the papers and cut out a lot of problems. Since this has happened Bm's crazy has gone into warp speed and her mind seems to be stuck in a galaxy far far away! During the cps incident she was ok with us having them 1st, 3rd, and 5th, but as soon as the case closed she asked for things to go back to the way they were (which gave her all the power in deciding when we do and do not get them). We told her no (I say we, I didn't talk to her but we make every decision concerning them and bm together or at least talk about it). Ever since she has been this way.

Dh is a good ex, I'm not saying this because he is my dh but he is. He never lashes out or fights back (she walked all over him and mentally abused him their whole relationship) but lately he has had to put his foot down with her. He only communicates with her if he wants the kids to call him (which she wouldn't let sd5 call him on her birthday), or if something happens at our house (sd9 scraped her knee, ss11 seems upset, ect), or in reference to kid exchange (that's it period, he doesn't get involved in the politics of her house or how she is raising, or lack thereof, the children at her house). Well recently the two swapped a weekend (always sure to cause drama when you swap to be nice) and he would have them the last weekend of April so that she could take them the first weekend in May for something. Well what happened? We didn't get to get them the last weekend in April because dh had to work the entire weekend (which never happens, this has literally only happened once) and I had made previous plans. Well bm throws a temper tantrum (keep in mind that her fits are those of a five year old child stomping about and lashing out) and demands I cancel my plans to watch her children (not happening, so sorry that life happens). Dh asked if he could instead have them the first weekend of May, she said no he had already traded, he was fine with this. BM continued to harass him throughout the week calling him a bad father because work came up and he couldn't take them.

Fast forward to this week. It (as we all must know) is the weekend of Mother's Day this up coming weekend (side note: this is my first one where I am a Mother, kind of cool). Bm very nicely asked if DH wanted the skids this weekend and he said no because it was Mother's Day weekend and they should be with their Mother, she freaked out (IDK why). She tried to pull this last year and last year my birthday fell on Mother's Day and I said we wouldn't take them, this year I'm actually a Mother and I'm not comfortable with it. I personally feel the skids shouldn't be made to feel like they need to do something for me on Mother's Day nor should they feel left out so the best way is to not have them. She has been texting him every day fighting, trying to get to him. Yesterday she started claiming sd9 had a birthday party to go to on the 3rd weekend of the month, dh responded that we have a birthday party planned for sd5 that weekend. She said she'll send sd5 but sd9 andss11 don't want to come and she's not forcing them. When he responded with that is my weekend they don't have a choice and if you'd like I'll talk to them on the phone and explain to them that they have to come; she responds with he is mentally abusing the kids. Ok now I'm no rocket scientist but when did telling a kid no become mental abuse? Because if this is mental abuse my parents are going to have a lot to answer for! Furthermore, she kept saying he is not getting the two oldest that weekend and dh said he'd call the cops and have them involved, she said so what. WTH? The 3rd weekend was always supposed to be his, I don't get it. She also told him that he couldn't come to her house and that she'd meet him somewhere. Ok now we have a woman that is trying to keep the two oldest on dh's weekend (never ever agreed to), she wouldn't let them call, and she isn't going to let dh go to her house. WTH? Is something going on? Every time she says the kids don't want to come, they are more than happy to be here. They always tell us how much fun they have so I'm thinking there might be more to this than what she's saying. From my point of view (and dh's) this is left field. This makes no sense whatsoever. Thoughts? Opinions? Because I really just don't get it.