Nasty 12 year old
:sick: Ok, my 12 year old step is just nasty. Thankfully only here every other weekend, but that weekend causes me to regret the whole blended family idea. 1st, her hair is long and strait and she just lets it hang down in her face, she only washes it when we make her so it's greasy, and then she won't brush it or do anything with it. 2nd, she doesn't wipe or flush. I know she doesn't wipe because their's never any toilet paper in the toilet and her underware is blackened, crusty and stanky. Literally crusty from front to back and the white underware is black. Obviously when she comes to us on Friday night, she stinks, when you walk into her bedroom the whole room reaks like gym shoes.
3rd, when you do convince her to take a shower, "do I have to wash my hair?" I can tell the soap hasn't been touched, nor has she used a washrag. (that's no biggie, but would help scrub a little) She has brown patchy marks around her neck from years of not bathing properly.
Now come on. Is it seriously the step mother's job to teach a kid how to wipe her @$$? And to bathe properly. She's too old for me to stand in there with her and show her how it's done.
And her father, well he's the over-indulgent type. That's a whole other blog.
So, I thought about bagging up the nasty panties and sending them to her mother with a note. "You should really teach your kid how to wipe and bathe properly"
Her mother is a very clean person, but totally into her own life. I think this kid has just been left to figure it out on her own, but the health risks alone are scary. Lord help when she starts menstruating....OMG.
So....talk to the Mother first? or shower with the 12 year old (who by the way is obese and 5'4") because her father won't talk to her about it.
- is it over yet's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
May sound stupid but has
May sound stupid but has anyone shown her how to wash? It's a skill that we are taught when we are younger so it's almost second nature to us but your sd might not know or been taught properly. Same with healthy eating she might not have been shown? Would you join a gym with her or something like yoga, teach her to take some self pride. God I bet she must get bullied at school.
Yeah, because we all know if
Yeah, because we all know if there's a law, everyone's gonna follow it.. lol
My SD13's school has anti-bullying policy. It's a joke.
Lol the day they invent a way
Lol the day they invent a way to stop teenage girls being little cows to each other will be the day satan ice skates to work. Sd's school has one in place it only works if the students are sacred off the punishments which in todays age most of them aren't, sd has both been bullied and has been a bully and both cases the school just wrapped them on the knuckles and let them off.
I posted this on your other
I posted this on your other blog entry, but since this is the on on top, I'll post it here too:
I had a problem with my SD13 not washing her hair properly a few months ago. I told her that if she came out of the shower one more time with her hair not being washed right, I would be doing it for the next week, myself. For the next week or so, I looked at it every night when she got out of the shower, and believe it or not, she had washed and rinsed it like she was supposed to.
When she was 11/12, I had to have a serious talk with her aobut hygiene. She would go for days without showering (in the summer and on weekends.. during school she gets a shower every night, like it or not).. basically until we made her. And she didn't care to go out in public with her greasy hair plastered to her head. Finally, one day I let her go to the store with me looking like that and when we got home, before we got out of the car, I asked her.. 'What would you have done if one of your friends from school saw you like this?' She just gave me the deer in the headlights look. I explained that it's not ok to go out looking dirty, and asked what would happen if she went to school like that. She got the point, and we didn't have too many problems making her get showers on the weekends after that. Occasionally, she still needs some prodding, but she's getting better.
You obviously are the only person bothered by these issues, which means you're obviously the only one who might ever be able to teach her that it's not ok. I realize that it's BM's job to teach the girl about hygiene, but it doesn't sound like that's happening. If you give a shit, have a talk with the girl. At least then you can say you tried.
My SD doesnt shower at her
My SD doesnt shower at her BM's regularly like she does at my house...at my house she knows it is not an option. She only brushes her teeth at my house, and I know she only uses clean bedding/towels on a regular basis at my house. Luckily at least her BM does provide her with clean laundry. At her age embarrassment should do the trick. No 12 year old wants there Stepmom watching over them do anything...let alone shower. Shes probably already self conscious due to her size. Maybe if she is really large she has a hard time wiping properly due to reach around issues....or she could just be to lazy. I would stand in the bathroom with her while she showers and give her an inspection to ensure that her body is clean and her hair is clean and rinsed properly. I'm guessing if you do this once and it mortifies her she will take care of it afterward to avoid you having to inspect her again in the future. Only do this though with the consent of her father. Ideally I would even have him do it if he is willing. Just the threat of my supervising my SD's showers (or god forbid her father!) was enough to prevent her from testing me and she has had successful showers since. For the wiping issue...I would make her wash out her own underware in a utility or bathroom sink by hand. Good luck!
I know what you mean, my 3
I know what you mean, my 3 skids will come from a Friday to a Sunday and not take one Shower, seriously, the 18 year old has left dirty used pads on my bathroom counter (twice!!!)
OMG.. She would not want me
OMG.. She would not want me to be her SM. I would embarass the bullshit out of her for that!
oh trust me I threw a fir
oh trust me I threw a fir and my husband was soooo embarassed.
Good for you! That's just
Good for you! That's just ridiculous!!
You should put them on her
You should put them on her dinner plate in place of dinner and tell her she needs to learn some respect. Oh, that's a little harsh huh. Maybe just put it on her bed pillow....IDK?
I don't know, the boys are
I don't know, the boys are scared of her. Afraid w/ her maturity level it will take a few more years before the boy thing has any effect. My fear is, it will have the opposite effect in that she will be so ostresized that she recludes.