F*CK my feelings though, right?
Wanting privacy, respect, and kindness is not an outrageous request. I mean call me F*ING crazy, but the way I was brought up it was EXPECTED.
If you are a CHILD and you can see 2 adults having a F*ING conversation and they did not invite you into it, MIND YOUR 12 YEAR OLD BUSINESS! You like to be able to go into your room and close the door and know no one is going to bother you? GOOD! Stay the F*CK out of my room. ESPECIALLY when the door is closed. You want me to be nice to you and do nice things for/with you?? Show me the SAME DAMN COURTESY!
I WILL NOT be anyone's door mat. I WILL NOT be the hott topic on your 12 year old daughter's gossiping lips! I WILL NOT be anyone's maid service. And I WILL NOT RELAX!! SERIOUSLY!
I am sick to F*ING death of being told to RELAX every time I have an issue!!
Why am I always the bad guy who "Gets worked up" whenever I bring up things that SHOULD be an EASY, EVERY DAY thing!?
It wouldn't always be an argument if you would FOR ONCE just agree with me or take me seriously and DO something about it. And I DEFINITELY do not give one flying f*CK if it upsets your kids to bring it up to them! Are you kidding me!? Talking about being nice and respectful to SMOM REALLY upsets your BRATS soooo much that you just give up!? What about MY feelings or how upset I get when they consistently treat me like sh*t!?
So done. 31 weeks pregnant and you're worried about THEIR feelings and getting THEM worked up. Thanks for nothing.
DH, the man with unlimited excuses...
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Comments
It seems he's blowing off
It seems he's blowing off your concerns and assuming it's your pregnancy that's talking and not actual issues going with your relationship with him.
I dislike generalizing, but I
I dislike generalizing, but I honestly think most men are substandard parents. They just don't have the stamina, consistent attention to detail, or forethought - and that's in an intact family. Add in divorce guilt, and you have the frightened & lazy raising the entitled and manipulative.
Yeah, I'm not in a good place with men either Evilsmom.
Most men perform a miracle
Most men perform a miracle each day going to work with pants on never mind be consistent. And I am generalizing too
I am very anti men this morning.
"I dislike generalizing, but
"I dislike generalizing, but I honestly think most men are substandard parents. They just don't have the stamina, consistent attention to detail, or forethought - and that's in an intact family. Add in divorce guilt, and you have the frightened & lazy raising the entitled and manipulative."
Holy shit, folks! There it is: Steplife summed up in one short paragraph.
This is my favorite post ever. It's so damn good I'm printing it out and posting it prominently on my refrigerator. DH be damned!
Preach it high on the
Preach it high on the mountain!
The first half if my post was
The first half if my post was written addressing a 12 year old girl, not my SO.
I wrote this out of anger, frustration, and pure resignation last night. I received a lenthy apology with a promise to change the way things are (something I have had yet to hear from him) this morning.
All that said I do not believe my SO is a shit father. In fact quite the opposite. He loves his and MY children very much. He spends as much time with them as possible and makes sure they do not want for anything. He plays with them, teaches them, makes sure their grades are right, and they participate in sports and activities.
I understand some people believe I am full of it because of the way his children treat me, they respect other adults and are genuinely nice to other people. I am a threat. Their father being with me uprooted their entire world and the life they were used to. I understand that, which is why until this point I was not as hard on them about being rude or whiny or entitled. I'm just done with this behavior continuing, which is why him and I have not been seeing eye to eye lately.
So YES, I did want to have another child with my SO. he is a good man who treats myself and my children better than any man ever has. I love him very much And having a fight with him does not make me question for one second that decision. I've noticed your comments about me "procreating" with this man on other posts. I'm not sure what you think is happening. Like I'm jumping around from man to man bearing their children and b*tching about them behind their backs? but that's not me.
Ah! Okay, I was upset for a
Ah! Okay, I was upset for a minute lol. I hate when I put up a post and people just bash my SO... he is the best man I know and I am crazy in love with him, so only I can B*tch about him lol.
I don't feel he is a substandard parent by any means. I do feel his kids treat him and I poorly because of the guilt he feels over his divorce and the shit job his alcoholic manipulative ex wife is doing... they sense it, and walk all over him. But he does put them before everything else in his life and despite the things they do or mistakes they make, he never gives up on them
I feel incredibly lucky to have found a man like him to be a part of my Boys life ♡
I just wish his children would show him the respect and kindness he deserves. And I have decided I am demanding it for myself.
I knew I might get flamed for
I knew I might get flamed for my post Rutherford, but it is based on my observations, experiences, and admittedly jaded attitude after three decades of stepping.
You clearly have an exceptional DH and I admire the relationship you have with him. He puts your relationship first and seems clearheaded about his responsibilities and priorities. Unfortunately, on this board your DH is a rara avis.
I think that DELIBERATE
I think that DELIBERATE interruption of conversations on the part of snotty 12 year old skids is a power play. Like a dog pissing on its possessions. I actually stopped speaking to my husband. At all. I told him there was no point in it since his son was going to interrupt every conversation we have and DH didn't respect me enough to stop it. Now he will tell his kids to wait.
Yes SS13 will deliberately
Yes SS13 will deliberately interrupt us and that drives me wild! But SD12 is worse. She hovers in the background CONSTANTLY and listens to EVERYTHING. She's incredibly nosy and usually twists what she hears to stir up trouble. When I had a conversation about this with DH last night his response was that she is a kid, all kids are nosy, and I was getting worked up over nothing. I HATE to be told to relax when I am not worked up, but ESPECIALLY when I have a real issue I want to address.
I know exactly what you mean.
I know exactly what you mean. Interrupting children are the worst, especially when you know they are just doing it to purposley get on your nerves or to get attention. Mine got so bad I had to shut H out completely because it was POINTLESS to even discuss something so simple as dinner due to interruptions and him not addressing it.
So, I had to show my behind and take matters into my own hands.
Now, I don't give a flip if I hush SD. She needs to do something else when adults are talking...just like I had to when I was a kid. H was flabbergasted in the beginning when I would get onto her for it. He would look at me like I was crazy for actually telling his kid to not interrupt. I didn't care and still don't. It went on for ENTIRELY too long.
It's getting better and finally H won't let her interrupt anymore thank the lord.