MY WORLD IS OFFICIALLY ROCKED!!
I have been the been married to my DH for 12 1/2 years. During that time, I basically raised Skids..Who were 15, 12, 8, and 3 at the time we got married. They only went to BM's every other weekend. Also, we had 3 kids together..so a total of 7 kids. The BM was not involved in their day to day life, could not even take care of her apartment and keep it clean when she lived by herself. It was torture for me to send skids to the weekend visits, because there was never structure, disipline....or follow through with homework and such. My relationship with BM has always been pretty rocky because she was always so two faced to me and was always putting the kids in the middle. She also lived 45 mintes away..so the distance was just right for me. Last August, she got married to a really nice guy and he seems to help her understand how things really are and that she has been mad at me all these years unreasonably. She also moved to the next towm over..only about 15 minutes away!! I get along with him great and -----all around--- it has been going well. IMAGINE THIS!! My DH and I were invided to a New Years Party at Sd23's house with BS11, BS9, and BS8 and SS15. Also Invited were BM and her New husband and SS 27 who is Autistic. My SD23 is married and has a 2 year old and a 2 month old, and I really wanted to support her in this..even though my DH was pretty hesitant..AND not a big house at all....BUT..It went well..CHARADES!!! FUN! NO DRAMA!!! All COOL !!! AWKWARD..but cool!!
What really rocked my world tonight was finding out that BM 52 is now pregnant. I really dont know what to think....Should I just be happy for her....but what about the fact that she has FOUR children that she finally is being able to be more involved in the kids lives..and the lives of the Grandchildren. What about that fact that I basically raised her four other kids for the last 12 years. Help me on this...Help me get some clarity please!!
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Comments
Yeah, mine too.
Yeah, mine too.
Damn you beat me to it! That
Damn you beat me to it!
That was my ONLY thought at this point....
Glad you had a good night and things seem to be easing up with the BM.
First of all, bless you for
First of all, bless you for taking care of the SKs. Heaven only knows what would have become of them had you not been there. The SKs know that they are more yours than they are hers, even if she has decided to play mommie to them at this late moment.
As far as the new baby goes? Stay out of it. You own the BM absolutely nothing. Tell her congrats and then just walk away.
It is time for you to enjoy your own life.
I am impressed with you.
I was 40 when my twins were
I was 40 when my twins were born. I have yet to have a single person say anything at all about my age. 40 is nowhere NEAR "too old" to have a kid.
Oh! No, no... I didn't mean
Oh! No, no... I didn't mean to imply YOU said it was "too old"! I was just responding more to the general "some people give older women crap".
I was agreeing with you, not arguing with you! (Sorry, apparently being a 40-ish woman with kids is hampering my communication skills. }:) )
LOL! Oh good, at least we've
LOL! Oh good, at least we've established we agree with each other!
I'm with you. My mom had my brother in her 40's, and my grandmother had my aunt in her 40's. It just seems so *normal* to me. And I actually think having a kid in your 40's is better than having one in your 20's. (Now I'M the one who's going to get the of 5 million comment post condemning me to hell and back!!) Maybe it's just me, but I know I'm a MUCH better mom at 40 than I would have been at 20!
ALSO..TWO of the four Skids
ALSO..TWO of the four Skids are Special Needs...One has severe Autism and the other SS15 has ADHD and Reactive Detatchment Disorder. She has a high risk pregnancy already and with the kids history...??
Didnt mean to post so many
Didnt mean to post so many times..how do you delete it?
Yeah, but maybe she will... I
Yeah, but maybe she will... I am one of 7 children. My mother had her first at 31 and her last at 48!!! No developmental problems in any of us either. I do feel bad for all involved though.
I think it was just the
I think it was just the wording that was offensive. Overall, it is none of anyone's business if BM is having a baby and how old she is. It certainly isn't OPs business.
Well said. I am reading this
Well said.
I am reading this whole thread with growing horror at how callous some of these people are being.
Totally unnecessary and hurtful.
Yes, it would be a shock, but apart from that please follow the old rule on this one "if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all"
I'm 47 and in case you don't know/have forgotten (monkey I know you would remember as it happened to both of us at about the same time) I also just experienced an unexpected pregnancy and miscarriage.
No matter how much it wasn't the "right" thing for us it was still an incredibly painful situation so comments like this thread - just totally wrong.
Perhaps I can try and be a
Perhaps I can try and be a little lighter in my response?
Firstly *Wicked witch*; you sound like what I only hope to achieve as a stepmother; raising your stepchildren successfully, blending the family and being comunicative throughout. I think a few of us need lessons in how to be like that; kudos.
If it helps, my DH's BM had another child DURING the divorce (with the guy she'd cheated on him with). She was 42. I was repulsed, shocked - but then I grew up. I am 32 and would dream of being blessed with children of my own. Yes she's done a shitty job of the two I've met, but I'm trying not to reserve judgement on the third! In reality 4 years down the line I have to pity her; yes our struggle is hard now (with cs and having them every other week) but hers will be much worse when they turn 18. We also have pretty much nothing to do with the child except the Skids telling our animals off with his name...
.... poor beggar.
Did she plan this or was it a
Did she plan this or was it a oops, didn't think that would happen kind of thing?