I had typed all this up yesterday and for some reason, my computer decided to eat it before posting. So here I go again.

I am not sure where to begin, as I am still in the process of trying to gather what bits and pieces of my sanity that I lost last week.

I guess I should start explaining how the law "appears" to work in my area. I write that in quotes because there are many segments of child custody laws that have changed in the past year alone. DW wants to file for an upward mod to CS. I thought that this was just a simple exercise of taking a trip to the local courthouse and filing the proper paperwork. It isn't quite so simple. For starters, it costs money to file; a lot of money (like $400). Then, almost as soon as the papers are filed, Donkeykong will be given notice of the filing and be given 30 days to either contest, provide evidence of his adjusted income, claim undue hardship, etc. Knowing Donkeykong, he will quite likely contest. Should this happen, DW and Donkeykong will be summoned to court so that the judge can hear both sides and look at all the paperwork and do the math. Should this happen, it may cost even more money as lawyers may (or may not) get involved. I didn't think lawyers would be involved here, but if one party decides to "lawyer up" then the other party will be at a disadvantage if they don't.

With me so far?

Good.

So DW and I decide to go see a lawyer to see if this process is worth it. We felt we had a good case for an upward mod since A) DW lost her job a few years back and had to take a new one at considerably less salary Donkeykong got a raise a few years back and C) SS needs tutoring/extra help with the courses he is struggling with (which Donkeykong refuses to pay his half).

We speak to the lawyer who very eagerly looks at all the paperwork and takes notes. Finally she asks if DW knows how much Donkeykong makes approximately. When DW answers her, the lawyer's mood suddenly changes.

"I don't think this is worth it." She says.

Donkeykong, back in 2004 was making approximately $3000 more than DW (which is why the CS was so low to begin with. The lawyer made some quick calculations and said that should this case go the distance, we may end up losing money in the long run.

"You're better off just saving your money and paying for the tutor yourselves."

Okay, I kind of figured this might go this way.

But then the lawyer asks, how old SS is. When we tell her that he's 15, the lawyer was all :jawdrop:

"This custody judgement may have been suitable for an 8-year-old, but not a 15-year-old!"

The lawyer asked if SS was happy with the custody schedule the way it is.

DW says no.

"Oh well in that case," the lawyer said, "Then it may be worth it to hire a GAL to speak on SS's behalf. Should SS want to change the custody schedule and spend more time with you guys, then it is definitely worth seeking an upward mod."

That's when I just about lost it. I told DW that she is projecting her own wishes here and that is not fair on anyone. The lawyer asked me to calm down and then asked me to give me my assessment of what I think SS wants.

"SS is happy where he is at the moment." I said. "He's ALWAYS been that way. If he's at our place he is happy and doesn't want to go to his Dad's. When he is at his Dad's he is happy there and doesn't want to come back to our home. Yes he's a teen, but he still acts and behaves like a kid. Whoever gives him the most amount of treats and showers him with affection is where he wants to be!"

DW said I was wrong. I started citing instances of his behavior (including the crying and wishing to be tucked in at night).

The lawyer said that this is normal. She also said it may be best for SS to speak to a GAL without any parents present. This way, the GAL can assess if it is worth it or not to go to court. There is a small consultation fee, but it may be the only way to truly assess what SS wants.

I acquiesced and said it may be worth a shot, especially if it means that SS will get the help he needs.

But I knew in my head that this won't see the light of day. DW on the other hand was very eager at this opportunity. She's been wishing for more custody time since SS was 9.
So later the next day, we sit SS down and explain to him about the situation. We told him that we are thinking of scheduling a meeting between him and a GAL and the GAL is going to ask him some questions. I was very straight with SS.

"SS, you are 15 years old. You are going to be an adult VERY soon. When that happens, you don't have to follow the custody order anymore and can stay with whom you wish. However, if you have a better idea NOW of where you want to spend your time, NOW is the time to speak up. Maybe you want to spend time with Vicky on the weekend? Maybe you want to spend more time with your Dad in the summer? Maybe you want to stay here for Spring Break than be at your Dad's? I do not know this; ONLY YOU know this."

We asked SS to think about this and think about it carefully, because we all want what is best for him.

SS was silent the whole time we were talking.

After we finished talking, he turns to DW and says "Mom? Can I get a PS3 for Christmas?"