No, its OK BM...we will pay for it, god forbid you should use the MAINTENANCE YOUR paid to ACTUALLY PAY for YOUR child!
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!
So last night, OH is on his way to collect SD7 fro tea, BM calls OH;
BM "Hi OH, just wondering, do you happen to have a superhero outfit at yours and stressedsteps? SD7 has to dress up for charity this Friday?" Now, its 3 days away this dress up,
OH "Erm, no, dont think so.....she has disney princess stuff but thats that"
BM "OH, well she needs something by Friday OH, and princess isnt really a hero"
And thats it.....OH decides to try the disney princess outfit on so calls me and says;
OH "Hey, (explains what BM has said) so Im gonna try the dress on her later"
Me "You will have a job, the dress was chucked ages ago cos it was too small, and it isnt a hero outfit"
OH "SD7 needs it for Friday"
ME " well BM best move her fat lazy scutter a** and get shopping then hadnt she!"
OH "Yeah, but you know what she is like....dont want SD7 to be the only one who isnt dressed up"
ME "I get that, so you TELL BM that we have nothing so she will have to get something"
BM " Hmmmm....Ill be back in a bit babe...."
Now this all means "stressedstep has to put her hand in her pocket to pay out for and outfit to a child that is not my responsibility!!" BM NEVER puts her hand i her pocket, despite having all maintenance payments and SS payments sent to her, as she has custody!!! OH gets home;
ME "Have you told BM?"
OH "No. She wont do it will she!?"
ME " So tell her she has too then! If I do it, it means I have to pay out for BM to keep things fair, and soon if this keeps up, then Ill have to pay out THREE times to keep it fair. SD7 has "treats" from here, not necessaties, thats what sh*tface is supposed to provide!"
So, I paid for SD7s charity day.....again......not doing it again now.....why doesnt OH put the BM on the f*cking guilt trip!?....She lay down to create his little sh*ts........
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Comments
Well it is 'charity' day
Well it is 'charity' day
No, seriously, the outfit is not your responsibility. Why your pocket and not your OH's? If he couldn't afford to shop than he could have gotten creative and came up with something. Tights, an 'S' cut out of old outgrown top material stitched to a white tee, a felt self made mask. Instant Super Girl.
Obviously this BM has your OH all figured out. He knows she won't get or make what the girl needs and he doesn't want his SD to be the lone man out (things like that do affect the child's self esteem and she's not old enough to stand up to BM)...he does it so the child doesn't miss out due to a cheap lazy a** mother. He doesn't do it for BM he does it for the kid. Problem is, he isn't doing it either. You are.
Your just going to have to make it plain to him that your pocket is closed. He's either going to have to tell BM 'no' she has to do it or he's going to have to actually do it on his own (not done through you). Yes, it is very kind of you of have pulled the parents through for the child, but it can't keep happening. It builds resentment and is unfair to you. The child has two parents.
It does build
It does build resentment......from me! I resent having to be the one who ALWAYS comes to SD7s rescue!!! Like its been said, she isnt my child!!
This has always been the way......
The very first time, OH was on his a*se financially, we didnt even live together at the time either...SD7 needed something, boots I think, and Id just bought my BD some......so OH moaning that poor SD7 had nothing etc etc, so i offered to pay for some.....now I wasnt working at the time either....Ive paid for her clothes that MIL send back home to BM, all sorts.....its doing my nut now cos at the end of the day, BM gets all the money for SD, not us, and not me!
OH and MIL need to quit the guilt trip, and if SD7 doesnt have whats required (yes its cruel) then she goes without, then its on BM....OH can have a pop at BM, school can have a pop a BM and SD7 can resent BM for not providing what she should.....problem with that is, SD7 is expectant thanks to BM....SD7 assumes its our responsibility to pay for BM to go out AND pay on top for SD7...........BM needs to learn that she has the money, so do it. MIL; and Oh AND me need to stop and throw it back at BM, thats the only way she will actually do something......
Yes it should be thrown back
Yes it should be thrown back at BM but you all know what happens.
BM tells the child that Daddddyyyy wouldn't buy you and outfit and you will be the only one in the whole school without an outfit. Daddddyyyy doesn't love you, he loves his skid more blah blah blah.
I would have gotten the outfit too, only I would have taken the money from DSO to pay for it.
^^^^ THIS ^^^^^ This is
^^^^ THIS ^^^^^
This is EXACTLY what BM does.....and as I said SD7 can be quite expectant because BM tells her that "daddy gives her no money" and that "daddy has to buy those things"....
And of course, OH wants her to not miss out, as on the other side of the coin, its bad enough for SD7 at school as it is, let alone being the ony one without an outfit!
Its just annoying that he will guilt trip me, yet wont say f*ck all to BM...
Lol...thats brilliant!! She
Lol...thats brilliant!! She going as a Ninja Turtle instead!
OH wont get creative, he had literally no idea at all! lol Now I do, Ive made a couple for BD, but I simply dont have time to cater one for SD7!
I feel like this is a DH
I feel like this is a DH problem and not a BM problem. Why are YOu paying for anything. Does DH not work?