So, BM is a crock of sh*t normally......and has been for the last, well lifetime.......however, Im sensing a change of direction slightly with her. SD7 appears to be cleaner, a bit more grounded and has a better routine now BM is working again, sd7 is even happier, if not more expectant and catty (but we accept that cos thats what BM encourages and molds). Even OH has passed small comments on certain situations.

But Ive had a slight eureka moment.........see, BM had behaved like this before, grounded, put her daughter first, got her to school on time, indeed got her to school at all.....then after a while it all goes to pot and SD7 is dumped here and there and life seems to be all sh*t........anyway my eureka moment clocked something.....

BM DOES OK ISH AS A PARENT WHEN....SS17 IS NOT LIVING THERE!!!!!!!!...........

Ive thought about this, even re-read diaries, and it all fits together. BM seems to throw all her attention to SD7 and SD7 benefits massively, but when SS17 lives there, SD7 loses out and is witness to mammoth arguments and constant sh*t. Also, we have since found out that SS17 is picking SD7's brain about what is happening at mine and BM'S house whilst he isnt around....yup SS17, life continues quite nicely without you and your bullsh*t.......and then BM takes SS17 back into the house and all within a week or two, all hell breaks loose!!

This lata part is due, I think.....we have found out that SS17 is taking SD7 to school of a morning (BM drops SD to her nan's, and SS17 gets up early, either goes to the nan's or sleeps over, we dont know, and takes her to school). Now, he wont do this for free.

OH had initially refused to pay for SS17, or give him any money at all. To OH, if SS17 wanted to be the "big man" with the attitude to match, then fine....SS17 can get a job, or apprentiship and cater for himself then, since according to SS17 "he dont need no one but himself and everyone else can go f*ck off!"...OH has still however been paying maintenance to cover SS17, and we think this is what BM has been using to pay SS17 to take SD7 to school. Well, OH ahs since told me that he is only paying BM for another couple of weeks and then it stops (in the UK, once you turn 16, if your not in college or a Govt. backed scheme, you dont pay maintenance. 16 + are expected to go to college or be involved in a scheme that pays) SS17 is doing sweet F.A.

Im surprised nobody else has clocked any of this really......but then Im the outsider looking in so its easy for me!