Well for those who remember, my SO was an idiot and invited his Ex-wife, BM1, to our family 50th bday dinner. His mother (my future MIL) is visiting us from England and has kept me SO BUSY that I completely forgot to text BM allowing her to bow out gracefully. Yesterday, a few hours before dinner, I remembered and texted her to try and give her an out:

Me: Is 5:45 good to pick up the girls? I'll probably get them as I'm not sure of SO's work schedule!
(thought this would give her a chance to just say yes and not come)
BM1: Is this for SO's birthday dinner, because I thought I was coming? So I could bring them up and meet you - was it at the RESTAURANT

Me: (damn it damn it WHY damn it) "Oh sorry yea I'm out of it"

Then I told her the time and the address.

Normally BM1 and I get along great. Never had a fight, no PAS, no nonsense. I respect her and like her a lot. But boy was she WEIRD last night! I don't know what her problem was....she was acting very unlike her! It almost seemed like she was trying to compete with me! SO wore a (very sexy IMO) suit and tie and he wore to work. I wore a Kate Spade very flattering black dress and did my makeup with a smoke eye and sultry wavy hair. I only say this because normally I show up to BM1's in a Tshirt and jeans, so maybe that threw her off? I am also 18 years younger than BM1....every BM's worst nightmare lol.

At dinner, I had some gauze wrapped around my wrist from the hospital. I am BRACA positive (breast and ovarian cancer gene), so I get a mammogram and breast MRI every year, even though I am only 27. I have teeny tiny veins so they had to poke me a lot before they could get the die in, and had to wrap with gauze because the vein they finally used bled a lot. I explained this to BM when she asked and she basically rolled her eyes and blew it off.

Then later she was saying how she only got to go to the gym once this week (she's hosting a charity dinner tonight and has been very busy). The girls had a fitness test in gym and SD11 did 75 crunches, and BM1 was even competing with her! She said "Well I do 300 a day and I still have a pooch!" then went on and on about how it is because two babies lived in her belly (SD14 and SD11) and really stretched it out. Then she went on a rant about how much weight she gained with SD14, how she lived across from Au Bon Pain and ate cinnamon buns. Then went on about how MY SO used to go out in the night and get her Baskin Robbins. I'm almost tearing up and looking away....If you remember from my last blog I *DID NOT* want this to become a walk down memory lane about SO's past. I see living proof of his past ALL THE TIME through SD14 and SD11. She said a few other weird things before she thankfully allowed us to change the subject.

She also got SO a birthday present....a book about the olympic rowing team during Hitler's olympics. SO was rowing captain at college in England and loves to row/sail. It was thoughtful but still weird. Then she went on and on about all the reasons he would love the book.

SD11 painted/drew SO a beautiful picture with pastels that we both loved, which he opened at the restaurant.

When we got home to open gifts (BM1 and SDs had to come because SD11 left things she needed at our house.) When we got in, I ran upstairs to grab my card and to pee. When I came back down less than 3 minutes later, SO had already started opening presents! I couldn't believe they wouldn't wait for me, and I bet BM rushed him to open it. SD14 and SD11 also got SO a picture with his name on it in different photos (I.e. C is the arch of a railing, H is a train track) and in the extra slot wrote a note saying Happy Birthday We Love You Daddy. It was very cute.

Then he opened his mother's gift, which was a beautiful wine decanter. SD11 asked "Daddy what is that?" BM1 replied "It's an urn. It's what you put dead people's ashes in" then laughed wistfully. We all just started awkwardly, then I broke the silence and explained to SD11 what a decanter was and how it helps wine breathe. He opened my presents next, which he loved, and BM refused to even say a word about them. SD11 loved a pair of cufflinks I got him and showed her mom, and she just stared at them and said nothing. They finally left, and SDs were extra nice, cheerily saying "Bye CBCharlotte! See you tomorrow! Thanks again for dinner it was great!"

Yes, I paid for everyone's dinner at a nicer restaurant, including BM. Both SDs mdae a point at dinner to say thank you TWICE. BM grunted thanks.

So was very bummed all night. When we got in bed, I said "I'm sorry your 50th birthday wasn't what you'd hoped". He opened up (for once!) and talked about how he wished it was just us. He never should have invited BM, and he wished she would have bowed out. He couldn't believe how she behaved and was so surprised and confused by it. He said "now I remember again why I divorced her....she is usually nice but can get bitter and nasty out of nowhere".

Overall it was a weird night. SO and I are great, I just feel bad that he didn't have a perfect birthday like I would have liked.

BM1 is normally so nice (I've known her over a year), I was very surprised by her behavior. It was very unlike her. HOpefully she was just having a bad night or it brought back too many memories, and this does not become a regular occurrence.