just venting
I havent posted on here in quite some time, but I have been on here reading other posts. I see so many posts and responses that relate to my situation that I havent felt the need to post. Today I decided to vent...lol. SD is now 30 years old..still married to oldest 2 girls father but living with another man and had a child by him...DH still thinks she walks on water...he has made the 1000 mile trip in June, July and August to spend time with his precious princess...I was conned into making the trip in June..came to find out it was because he blew thru all his money and I had to pay for everything...it was a miserable trip for me and I stated it was my last...SD never calls, texts, skype s or lets the girls either, unless she thinks DH is giving too much attention to me or my grandchildren,,,then the fb posts start..either many pics of her, her and boyfriend or perhaps the children or the posts about how much she misses her mother...all of which are designed to make DH fall all over himself to make her feel special and loved..this is beside the weekly posts he puts there to her about he loves and misses her...when I pointed out to him that it was pretty excessive he blew up...(by the way the few times he went to a counselor with me..the counselor even told him he had an unhealthy relationship with his daughter...he walked out on counselor when she said that)I have tried to explain my feelings...that I dont expect him to not have contact with his daughter but that I felt he put her as his only priority and that as an adult with her own relationship and family that i thought our marriage should be a priority...i was called stupid, crazy bitch and he would never give up his daughter for me...just tired
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Congratulations! You have a
Congratulations! You have a mini-wife.
Unless your DH steps up and creates appropriate boundaries with his daughter, you will always be on the back burner for him.
And it would be a cold day in hell when I would allow myself to be fooled into paying for a vacation. I would have taken the first plane home.
Unfortunately from your description, it seems that your DH is fine and happy with his head firmly planted up SD's ass. So you have 2 choices if that is the case......put up with it or leave. Sorry, IMO
Jeez this is another great
Jeez this is another great example of adult skids never really leave. My Dh informed me tonight that when he goes to buy a new car he will give sd23 his car. Ummmmm no! He won't be able to get a car without my name, everything we have is joint - no! He will need his car for a trade. Sometimes i think these guys are in competition with bm for their daughters to see if they can
Win them over with material stuff.
They are. I think to some
They are. I think to some extent there will always be a bit of competition in both the parents' blood if they don't get along well together. I sometimes have to subdue my DH's crazy urges to do extravagant things for SD. He wanted to buy her an iPad for Christmas last year. She was 5 first of all. Secondly we were saving money to put a new roof on the house this summer as well as some other minor fixes around the house. And I don't care if it's the norm for 5 year olds to have iPads these days...I don't even have an iPad so SD sure as hell isn't getting one any time soon.
My sd23 has always been a
My sd23 has always been a train wreck quit school, has a kid she can't care for. , works off and on - sure hand her over a free car, she clearly deserves it.
And you're right...5 year old don't need iPads