What do you do to get BM off your mind?

I posted a few days ago about how I'm obsessed over BM. I received a couple of great idea's but I need more!!!

One idea was every time I thought about BM, I needed to do something for DH, like a sweet text or give him more attention. Another idea was to stop attending skid activities to avoid seeing BM and take the time I would spend at a skid activity and do something just for me, like exercise or go for a walk.

I've blocked BM and the crew from FB. I have to say I'm going crazy wondering if she's pregnant again or just getting fat. }:)

I saw my therapist today and she asked me what would make me feel better….I said send her out on a wooden raft on the ocean heading towards a continent that practices cannibalism with no food, water or a pillow! But of course that's a fantasy and not a reality for me

The therapist says I need to willingly let go and release it back into the universe all the anger and hurt I feel. She said it would reduce the tension and anxiety I feel. But in the mean time I need more.

Any suggestions would be great!!!

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I think those are all good

I think those are all good ideas. I don't have any suggestions. But sometimes I think it just takes time to get over BM. I know I used to be thinking, what is she doing this week to get more money, what kind of guilt trip is she laying on SO now, are they talking when I don't know about it, etc. But time has helped. And of course, now that skids are older too. For most that would be enough, but BM still calls SO about everything. I've always felt they were still enmeshed, and my counselor agreed. The other day BM called SO to discuss their oldest almost 20, going into 3rd year of college living away from home when attending. Anyway she is staying with BM for summer (as usual) but BM calls to complain how disrespectful she is being with friends over every night, loud, eating all the food, then complaining there is no food, waking them up late at night. I looked at SO and said what does she expect you to do about this it is not your house. She and her BF need to address it. He gave me lame excuse, and I just rolled my eyes. I'm sure there will be several e-mails and phone calls regarding this...but you know...I don't care! Guess I am more secure in our relationship and with myself. WIsh I could help more.

I don't know if you're

I don't know if you're religious or spiritual, but I actually say an Our Father every time I think something negative about BM, or think about her at all. The only person it's hurting is you. Is that old expression, resentment is like drinking poison and hoping it kills your enemy. Say that or a similar mantra. Stop letting her rent space in your head.
Basically, she's some woman -- a stranger to you -- your DH slept with. I never think of any his ex's except her! It just happened to result in children. She's old news.

I have two BM's. BM1 is

I have two BM's. BM1 is great. Were not besties but we are cordial to one another. We all get along for the adults skids and grand skids. She's been to my home for holidays, birthdays and grand kid exchanges. It's all great.

BM2 is like a sliver under my finger nail or a 2x4 up my ass. She is the most miserable human being on the earth.

The therapist suggested I say the Serenity Prayer, which I will have memorized in an hour!

BM would be dead in the first

BM would be dead in the first dream. No need for more dreams!

Can she be my friend too?!?

Send me some visual details

Send me some visual details about her and I will dream it for you

Dyed blonde hair with

Dyed blonde hair with feathered bangs, the length is down to her shoulder blades. Wears white sneakers, capri skinny jeans 3 x too small and a pink or white top (it's like her uniform!) Never smiles and walk as fast as a slug with no hip movement.

Now work your magic!!! :O

Funny, I think BM is pregnant

Funny, I think BM is pregnant with kid #5 and 47. I always say, apparently BM has no friends because a friend wouldn't let you walk out the door like that. My DH just laughs

Okay Okay not someone I want

Okay Okay not someone I want in my dreams but I will do it!

I will think of evil thoughts of her all day so I will be sure to dream about her tonight.

I'll take one for the StepMom team!

I got ya Sally!

The best way to get over an

The best way to get over an ex of a partner who we're obsessed with is to separate from the man ... Then she drops off the radar entirely, or possibly you become best friends... Sorry, not a helpful comment

I think I need to just stay

I think I need to just stay real busy and focus like you're saying. I've decided for this weekend that I will not be going to the next tournament. It's amazing that after only seeing BM one weekend, I could get myself in such a tizzy that I need a break! :jawdrop:

I obsess more about the skids

I obsess more about the skids then I do BM. I rarely think of BM. Thankfully. But I have at times obsessed over her... like right after my wedding to DH. Ugh.

Maybe try to challenge yourself?

Or just think of it this way. Do you REALLY want to spend so much time thinking about BM. Who gives a flying F about her?

If you were to die right this moment, do you really want your last thought to be BM? Think of it that way.

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY Thoughts!

Where are all the spell

Where are all the spell caster spams when you need them the most?

I think I have a book "How to

I think I have a book "How to cast a spell on your ex".... maybe we can translate it to BM?

Oh, well of course we can.

Oh, well of course we can. I'll get my poncho, it's the perfect attire for spell casting.

Lots and lots of fringe.

He He He well duh what else

He He He well duh what else would we possibly wear for spell casting on horrible BMs?

I know this sounds scary but

I know this sounds scary but I made copies of her pic and then burned them. I really hate this woman, can you tell?

I have a situation I am very

I have a situation I am very upset over, re. a family issue, and it makes me so furious I have been obsessed over it a lot to the point where I was waking up every morning already crying about it.

What finally got it out of my mind is to write it all out where I was telling off the people who were doing me wrong, really spelling how out just how scummy I think they are, how long they have been and giving examples of how scummy they were, expressing my sadness and disappointment that they would treat me as they did, how their decisions will affect my whole future life, in these specific ways, and I want to be sure they know their little casual BS is ruining my life in the following ways. It was about 2-3 pages long!

I was always afraid to really say all the ugly things I was thinking but I finally did (then destroyed). It was a real catharsis after really saying it all 'to' them. I did save it a while then re-read and realized, I don't really want to send this, I want us to work this out, so that little letter can never see the light of day, and that is when I destroyed it.

So write BM a letter, and let her have it, really in every way you can think of!! then destroy it. Lather, rinse, repeat as often as necessary!!

I think thats a great idea

I think thats a great idea and I'm going to do that!!

I love your story!!! I

I love your story!!! I noticed the last time I saw BM she started wearing different colored tops (usually she wear pink or white) like what I would wear and now she's smiling and laughing which smiling was painful in the past. When the skids were small they would ask why do smile? You smile at nothing. It must have been something that irked BM and now she coping me.

I would also talk with other people and have conversation and that would piss her off too. It made her feel like I had more friend than her, but in reality I'm a sociable person. Now she hanging off anyone she can to be friends at events.

BM is cheap. She won't buy things to be "better" but she does get pissed off when I do have something new.

LOL! Our BM has done the

LOL! Our BM has done the same with the smiling and conversing with people! She never used to give anyone the time of day, but since she saw how social I am, she changed her ways. So strange.

There are these things called

There are these things called water pearls? You put them in water and they will soak it up and go from about the size of a grain of rice, to a small marble size.

They are really fun to squish.

You ever "squish" people's heads with you thumb and forefinger, when you were a kid?

Red water marbles, BM's picture, head squishing.