Ok, I am sooooo effing pissed off.
We are ALL here on holiday.
At home.
OH has to take a weeks leave EVERY school break and 2 weeks in summer to have the skids. So we never have a holiday without them.
They are here this week.
It's ALL of our time. Not just theirs.
But he has literally been upstairs with them ALL DAY. Watching movies and playing games. While my dd's and I sit downstairs.
WTF.
Can we not do these things together? As a family? So far he has spent a good portion of each day alone with them. I'm not talking an hour or two. Most of each fucking day.
*I* never get a fucking day with him alone. I never get even a few freaking hours.
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THIS Instead of sitting
THIS
Instead of sitting around, go have fun with your daughters. Plan something for just you and him when both sets of kids are with the other parents.
You have to remember that your kids are his SKs. Maybe he's like most of the SPs here. Regardless of how well behaved our SKs may be, we would rather spend time with our BKs than with them.
Agreed I would take my kid
Agreed I would take my kid and go do something awesome.
Oh sorry. Dd8 has tonsilitis
Oh sorry. Dd8 has tonsilitis and its midwinter. So cold, wet and dreary out.
I just get pissed that he rewards there crappy behaviour by stayingg segregated with them. See last blog for more detail.
I have no prob with him spending time just with them and me with mine, but we're all cooped up here together, sd is being bm's little bitch and he is spending all his time alone with them instead of trying to stop the bullshit.
Ahhh the one big happy family
Ahhh the one big happy family ideal. I guess in a way it would be nice but no I don't expect it.
What I would like is for him to recognize their manipulative BS and NOT bow down and give them what they want.
What I would like is for him to realise that the constant contact with BM while they are here keeps SD especially in bitch mode, she is reminded all the time NOT to behave, have fun, play with us etc. I would like him to spend SOME time with them sure, and SOME time with me/the rest of us. If they can be civilised then sure they can join in, but for him to reward her pissy behaviour by holing himself in the bedroom with her just pisses me off.
I think the OP is in
I think the OP is in Australia.
So, last night we all sit
So, last night we all sit down for tea. SD and SS played with their food then tipped it in the bin (and all over the recycling bin next to it, and all over the floor) They sat in stony silence the entire meal, no talking, smiling, looking at anyone except each other and DAddddyyyy. DD8 was like "wow, it's so quiet, why is nobody talking?" DD8, DD11 and I talked - the others were just obnoxious.
While we were eating dd(stb)22 came downstairs, she has a nose piercing (fairly recent) and was changing the stud to a sleeper thing but couldn't get it closed, so she wanted me to close it. I made a big deal of being squeamish (I don't like piercings, tattoos etc - DD(stb)22 has a few discreet tattoos, her ears pierced a few times, her nose now, her tongue and she did have her belly button but let that close up I think so she's not heavily pierced or tattooed.)
I couldn't get it shut, so she went into our ensuite (asked first) to use the mirror. Between the dining room and en suite is a 1 metre hallway, the bedroom door, and the ensuite is right there just inside the doorway, so she's about 2 metres from where we are sitting.
SD starts going on about "I will never get piercings or tattoos!" Daddy says "why?" And she says "because Mum won't let me!"
I laughed and said "yeah, and adults always do what there mummy says!"
DD11 piped up with "I will never get a tattoo!"
I asked her why,
She said "Because I don't like them, and I don't like pain and they hurt!"
I said "much better answer!" (quietly)
Then SD comes out with "my friend so-and-so has this that and the other on her face pierced, and that's just stupid, she's RUINED her face with all those holes!"
My dd22 takes offence (from the bathroom) comes out and says "excuse me, piercings do not leave holes in your face, when you take them out and leave them the holes close over and you have barely a mark, so my face is not ruined thank you very much!" And went back into the ensuite.
SD turns to OH and starts again, "her face is RUINED with all those piercings!"
We all just stared at her (OH included)
Then again she says "How stupid to RUIN your face with all those holes it in!"
Again everyone just stared, OH deer in the headlights look on his face. I lost it.
I very calmly said to her "that's pretty rude don't you think?"
She said "Oh, I was talking about my friend not dd22!"
I said "Well, once it becomes clear you have offended someone - if it was unintentional you wouldn't keep repeating the same offensive comments would you? That's pretty rude don't you think? And DD22 came out here and made it clear she was offended by your comments, do you really think continuing to make the same comments was ok? Because in the real world that's pretty rude and bad mannered!"
And I glared at the pair of them.
She just spluttered a bit, OH nodded and said "Yes, it's not ok, it was rude!"
Wow. He backed me up. Now to get him to step up and tell her him-freaking-self!
Damn, woman - I feel your
Damn, woman - I feel your pain!! I've noticed a certain pattern lately at our place too. SO is a diabetic and when SS isn't here, he always sez his sugar levels are too high, so he can't eat. This, after I've cooked dinner and would like to eat before 7.30pm or so.. he pretty much did this last week and the fortnight before. HOWEVER, when SS is here.. he will sit at the table to eat with him always before 7.30pm. I'm trying not to make a big deal out of it but it is annoying me. I like it when we're all together, catching up on our day.
Another thing that's been bugging me. SO will get extremely annoyed if my boys use any of his things e.g. lawnmower, computer & garden hose. He brought a new hose and made sure to tell me only him and I could use it. Then, when SS comes over, he goes and takes him straight to the hose and shows him how to water the garden. He gets annoyed with my Son if he leaves the computer on after using it, but if SS does the same thing? nothing. nada. zip.
I'm starting to feel like we're two separate families living under the same roof. If it continues, I guess we'll just have to make it a reality 'cos I ain't happy or comfortable about this.
How're you dealing with all this wind? I was sitting on the balcony at work having a smoke today and thought I'd get blown away - damned freaky as!!
It sounds like you husband is
It sounds like you husband is like many of the step moms here. He enjoys his bio's company more than his SKs'.
DF tends to get annoyed becuase I will allow my niece9 and nephew7 to play with my phone, but SDs9&7 aren't allowed to touch it.