Sorry, long.

Ok, so SD13's attempts to cause fights between OH and I had been paying off big time the last few months, we have fought about HER constantly when she has been around, she is ALWAYS manipulating to cause problems - saying rude things to me or about me to my kids, being rude to me when OH isn't around, lying, stealing you name it.

I have been told *I* am making it all up because Princess Perfect wouldn't behave that way.... You can imagine how well THAT went down. I have been told that *I* am the one with issues with her not the other way around. That *I* am jealous of his relationship with her etc etc etc - you all know THIS drill I am sure.

FINALLY last week we had some progress, with him accepting that *I* stand to gain NOTHING by making this shit up, *I* don't enjoy fighting with him, *I* want us to work out and all these fights over his daughter do is make him threaten to leave if *I* can't stop it (blah blah blah) What I have pointed out is HOW exactly does any of that benefit me??? And how does making us fight to the point of break up benefit her???

Ok, he admitted she has issues with me and has apologized profusely and repeatedly for all the horrible things he has said, for the mis-treatment etc. Things have been great - he has been SO attentive, begged forgiveness and been the model partner. The skids were here last Weds night, and lil bitchface attempted to piss me off with her usual antics, but I did not react to her, made her step up when she was rude but I did not allow her to cause a problem. The weekend, same deal - she did all her usual stunts, things I have told OH about in the past but not been believed, he saw them and nipped that shit in the bud - wooo hooo

So now we come to tonight. The little bitch (I make no apologies for calling her this, sorry if it offends but I am so angry right now) has taken a new tack. And I don't know how to deal.

He picks his up from school and plays with them at the park for a while before they come home. I pick mine up from their school and we come straight home, eat, get changed and head out for 2 hours of dance class (plus the 40 min drive each way) So we are out all afternoon til 7.40. I made soup in the slow cooker to be ready when we got home.

DD10 (who is hearing impaired and was not wearing her aids tonight as they fall off in acro class) ran into the house when we got home as she was busting to go to the loo. Ran straight through the lounge where OH, SD13 and SS10 were (SHE was in MY spot on the couch and wrapped in MY throw - but that's another story LOL) Anyway, she ran straight past and up the stairs to the loo.

I follow with dd7. Say hi to everyone in the lounge and OH and I head straight to the kitchen to serve tea. We serve it all up, put plates on the table and he goes upstairs to get all the kids (who all went up)

Mine come down straight away. I am getting drinks, I ask them if they want. Get theirs. Waiting waiting waiting. I go up to see what's taking so long, and see if they want drinks. SS is outside sd's room, OH and SD are in there with the door shut.

They all come down and OH is clearly pissed, sd is doing her woe is me I'm so sad act, ss is just sitting there like a log. DD's and I are clueless at this stage.... trying to engage, talk etc. I try to meet his eye and he is glaring at my dd's and patting princess on the shoulder and talking only to his.

Eventually when we are done and the kids pretty much finished I have had enough I ask to speak to him for a minute. He comes into the bedroom and says yes there is a problem but he will tell me about it after he takes them home. I say no, that's not really ok, as obviously it involves MY kids and you are going to get chapter and verse from sd about whatever the problem is, I'd like the chance to speak to mine about it - only fair?

He says ok, and tells me.
First issue was DD10 running through the room and not speaking to them. He apparently was the only one who spoke to her but she didn't reply - just ran straight upstairs and ignored them. I explained that she was busting, pretty much jumped straight out of the car as soon as I pulled up and was off - when I asked her she claims she didn't hear him, she just ran to the toilet. Jury is out on that, maybe she did hear him, maybe not. He doesn't see it that way. Makes no allowance for her hearing.

Second issue. *I* opened sd and ss's bedroom doors on Monday, we have a LONG hallway upstairs and I don't like all the doors shut it makes it gloomy. SD has a habit of stealing from my kids so I do check over her room regularly also Yesterday the cat was asleep on her bed so dd went in there (hmmmm - maybe yes maybe she was just having a nosy - either way she should stay out!) and she noticed that the wall decal had come off the wall. She told me about it but I hadn't had a chance to stick it back up yet.

Apparently DD told SD (this is from SD - see if you can pick a problem here?) anyway, dd told her the decal had come down and that she had been in her room. Then apparently dd7 just pipes in with dd10 can do whatever she wants sd is not the boss of dd10....

So sd is all upset that dd10 has been snooping through her room. Fair point and dd10 has been told in NO uncertain terms to stay out unless invited in. The issue I have is that OH KNOWS that sd has been in both dd's rooms and taken stuff, but she has NEVER been called out on it or told not to go in etc. I asked him whether he questioned any about what exactly was said and why as the conversation didn't make sense (WHY would dd7 just throw that in there?) He said no, that SD said that is exactly what happened.

Then it comes out that DD7 is doing handstands, and sd says she will do one, puts her feet up on the wall and stands on her hands leaning on the wall. DD7 says "that's not really a handstand"

Only according to SD she called her a dummy and made fun of her weight. Much more along this vein - sd was the victim and my kids just attacked her and said all this mean stuff with NO provocation or answering back - nada. Now I know this kid - highly unlikely.

Do I believe that my kids didn't say bad stuff? Probably on balance they did say more than they tell me.

When I questioned mine about it I had dd7 in tears swearing blind she never called sd names. That ALL she said was that's not a handstand - she may have laughed at her though.

They both claim (and I talked to them separately) that when dd10 told her about the decal she just ignored them - shrugged and didn't speak to them.

They had NO idea there was any problem or that she was even upset until after OH left with them. I asked him to bring his back so we could sit them ALL down together and see whose story stood up (seeing as he is determined to talk to her and get all the dirt on my kids)

I feel like she had no luck the last 2 visits getting us to fight with her usual antics, so she has upped the ante and is now attacking my kids. Don't get me wrong, I know my kids are no angels, but I can usually sniff out if they are leaving stuff out of a story, or if what they say doesn't add up (eg dd7 apparently just out of the blue saying dd10 can do what she likes - my reaction would be WHY did she say that???) He just believes every word princess says, that mine came home and attacked his poor widdle angel - nasty beasties that they are. My kids were in good moods, when we got home, when they came to the table, while we were eating. I smell a rat.

So, if I am right and her new tactic is to get at me and make us fight by attacking my kids HOW do I deal with that? I am not prepared to throw mine under the bus to keep the peace with OH. He seems to be unable to leave them to deal with their issues (which is what I would prefer) but princess sulks and cries til daddy asks her then he gets told chapter and verse and he swallows every fucking word.