Yes, I did say that to him last night.

See last blog for the birthday present backstory.

Last night all the kids have an acro class, usually we all go together, they do the hour class while we hang out together then we all go home. The next two terms my dd's have an extra hour class before hand (concert routine - the skids aren't doing it) so at the moment I drive my kids over there for 5pm, hang out in the car, OH arrives with the skids at 6pm and we spend the hour together then we all drive home separately.

So, last night he gets there with the skids, they go inside and he is telling me about his day.

He says that SD said something to him in the car which upset him a bit.

She said "Dad, the video camera is nice and all, but I would have rather had the same present SS11 had - a special day out just with you!"

If you haven't read back - this was initially the plan for HER birthday, it was MY idea, and he agreed to it. Then he said SS would like it to. He did it for ss then when her birthday came 2 weeks later he had changed his mind and bought her the stupid camcorder (which *I* wanted for MY birthday - ss's birthday was the 2nd, mine the 18th and SD the 23rd of the same month)

My jaw dropped... I took a few deep breaths but I could not stop myself - yes I said it to him.

"I FUCKING TOLD YOU!! I GUESS I KNOW YOUR DAUGHTER BETTER THAN YOU DO!"

Stupid dumb arsehole.

Then later that evening I found out that he lied to me - he mentioned that he and ss had gone for a bike ride that afternoon, I asked why SD didn't go and he said she just wanted to sit and watch TV. I find out later she had brought a friend over (and he is supposed to discuss this with me first - no friends over without talking first due to shit that has happened in the past)

I guess he thought I would never know.

I said I don't even care about the friend being there - it's his continued fucking dishonesty that I am upset about. I even tackled it well I thought. I was calm, I apologized for having reacted badly in the past and said that I understood why he felt it was easier to not talk to me about stuff, that he feels it would just lead to a fight, but that I was trying to change how I reacted and that we hadn't had those sorts of issues for quite a while now and htat I needed to feel that he was honest and open with me and that it was getting harder and harder to trust him when I continually find out that he is lying and omitting things.

He was, as usual, a jackass.

Eventually I told him that I never wanted to hear from him again the words "If you had only approached it differently I wouldn't have reacted the way I did, it's all your fault for how you bring things up to me"

Because I have gone out of my way to be careful and thoughtful and empathetic etc when raising issues.

And it makes NO FUCKING DIFFERENCE.

We are currently not speaking. And I honestly have no desire to change that.