Blood is not always thicker than water.
Boom! There it is! SIL admitted my children where not asked to be in family photos because "they are not your blood kids". DH and I have been together for 11yrs. He raised my youngest since she was 3yrs old. To her DH is her daddy. To me there is no separation of family, blood or not. That's just the way I was raised.
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Oh yeah if I dare take a
Oh yeah if I dare take a family photo with DH and I, only with my children, yes they would have plenty to say about that. Then it would be "you hurt there feelings" but it's ok to hurt my children.
that is exactly what SIL
that is exactly what SIL said. I was being "insecure, unstable, and jealous"
SIL made arrangements to take
SIL made arrangements to take family photo with MIL with grandchildren. I didn't know anything about it until the photo was posted on FB. DH and I have no children together.
I have to agree with SA on
I have to agree with SA on this. Growing up, I got along with my step-grandparents, if you want to call them that. We were all nice to each other. That's it. Your dh considers your dd his? Doesn't mean your inlaws have to feel the same way about her. My step-relatives take pictures of each other without me all the time. And you know what? It's their right to do that. They've done it since we were kids.
DH is my husband not my
DH is my husband not my boyfriend.
Even still, that does not
Even still, that does not mean your inlaws have to feel the same way about your bios that your dh does. Does your family feel your sks are their grandkids? It doesn't matter if bm is in the picture or not. The fact is that your dd isn't any more your inlaws grandkid than your sks are your family's grandkids. Your dh had the choice to raise dd as his own. Your inlaws also have the choice to feel the way they do. How does your dd feel about this? Has she said anything about it? If she doesn't seem to be making a big deal out of it neither should you.
You are giving these people way too much head space.
I think you are all wrong to
I think you are all wrong to say the child is not a blood grandchild and she can be left out if they wish.
At the end of the day this is a married couple, the husband has been in the little girls life since she was three and is a father to her. I am guessing that she is treated like a member of the family, just another of the many grandchildren, and she feels that she IS a legitimate member of the family.
For the SIL to decide that she's not is rude and very hurtful to a child.
It's not about the OP, or the GM or the husband, or the SIL, it's about the feelings of a child (sorry OP not sure if there are other children involved I think there may have been?) either way - to deliberately leave out children who have been members of this family for a long time that is just plain spiteful and mean.
My own OH did this to me and my children last year. WE bought his mother a frame for her birthday - it has 3 photo spots in it and says FAMILY above them. MIL has dementia and often forgets so we thought it would be good to have in her room at the nursing home. One spot for his sister and her family, one for his brother and his family and one for our family.
So, OH arranges the photo's. Sisters family, brothers family, and OH and the skids....
And the bastard had the gall to ask ME to put the pics in the frame for him and wrap it.