BM NEEEDS money to help pay for SS braces....
He's 9, and doesn't even have all his adult teeth yet.
She sent a text to FDH yesterday informing his that SS needs braces and it's gonna cost over 2k....is he planning to help...or no?.....that's what she sent him.
I appreciate that he is keeping me informed of the situation and didn't just make his own decision on what to do regardless of how it affects our budget. He's angry because he feels like with the child support he pays (which is substancial) plus covering the insurance (which is good insurance) and the fact that she refused to let him claim even one of the kids this year he really shouldn't have to contribute any more, but still feels obligated to help out. I understand, and told him to let her know that we will take a look at our budget and figure out what we can help with. She fires back with we can each make monthly payments of X for X amount of months. She wants him to pay half. I guess that's better than paying all of it right? Except for she won't be paying the other half, her step dad will be. Not to mention what orthodontist braces a kids teeth when they aren't even done losing teeth?
Well FDH told her that he can't afford to pay half and we would likely be able to contribute $500 toward the cost and he wants to see the paperwork and know what orthodontist she is going to in order to know where to send the check. Well, she says "what, you think I'm lying? You can just send the check to me."
No raggedy bitch. Just no. He held firm with requesting the paper work and of course she is all pissy and says she'll get him a copy.
I have many issues with this....one, how nice would it be to not have to pay for anything for my children, knowing there is always someone else to pick up the tab. Take vacations to Florida a few times a year even though she doesn't work....somehow be able to afford all kinda of fancy things for my children, not cook and always eat out to the point that my children don't know what a home cooked meal is....(reasons why I have such trouble with the SSs eating when they are here) and then complain about what a deadbeat their father is when clearly, he is not.
I receive no support not do my daughters father make any effort to even spend any time with them. I know what a deadbeat is.
I told FDH that I would have texted her back and said regardless of what you THINK my or notastepyet's income is we are not rich by any means. I will help with what I can and I'm sorry if that's not the amount you were expecting. But it's what I can do after paying support, covering insurance and continuing to pay off the marital debt you stuck me with and refuse to contribute to. If what I can offer doesn't suit you then it can be zero and I will find something else to spend that money on with all of the boys, not just one.
He said he's just not going to respond to her messages. Lol. 
Gah. So it starts. I don't mind helping to contribute for things with the boys. I guess I am slightly jealous that there are things I can't do for my girls because I am the only one who supports them. And I have to work to do that. I guess I should just shake my head and be proud of the woman I am instead of being jealous of the woman she's not.
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My ss had braces at 9, tog is
My ss had braces at 9, tog is right they do it way younger now. If your co says you pay half, your husband agreed to that so it kind of is what it is. Many ortho will let you make payments.
I'm not opposed to FDH
I'm not opposed to FDH helping out at all. But we will pay the ortho directly. He's not cutting her a check. I'm sure at some point she will throw the court order in his face however originally she didn't say you need to pay half she asked if he was planning to help pay....or not. So personally, and I know this isn't an objective view, she opened up the door for him to decide what to pay. Not only that, we need to call his insurance and make sure she's going to the right ortho as well as find out what his insurance does cover. We aren't taking her word for anything.
No I doubt she'll go to
No I doubt she'll go to court. She'll just bitch and whine about what a "deadbeat" he is to her friends and family. Idk why he's so concerned with what she says to people who have no involvement in our lives whatsoever. I don't give a shit what others think, we know what we are and are not doing for these kids and the kids also know because he talks to them about what is going on in terms they can understand and without bashing BM to try to combat and PAS on her part ie " you can't get braces because your daddy won't pay for it"- in this instance the conversation will be "ss9, daddy is going to pay X toward your braces. I know it's not half of the cost but after paying for our vacation this summer we can't afford all to pay all of that."....I'm sure someone out there will think that's wrong to say to a 9 year old but it's what we've decided is the best way.
That's what I said. I'm not
That's what I said. I'm not interested in paying for two rounds of braces for one kid when there's 4 more between the two of us that might possibly need.....problems with blended families I guess. And I'm not planning to do the shopping for her, but we can at least lead her in the right direction. If she wants him to pay for half then I think he has the right to find the most affordable option? It's no different than if they were still together, he wouldn't be forking over money just because she said so. They'd look for the most cost effective option. And she won't be paying "her half". Her step dad will be. And no, nothing will be in fdh's name or credit....other than his insurance. She screwed up his credit enough while they were married.
And likewise, after seeing
And likewise, after seeing the or this report doesn't FDH have the option to say no he's not paying for it if it's simply a cosmetic issue that she thinks someone else can pay for? I've lived with jacked up teeth all my life....if you can chew your food and keep them clean then what's the issue? If it is cosmetic and not a necessity then why should FDH be obligated to pay for something SHE wants? The kid doesn't even want the braces. He'd rather have crooked teeth then deal with being made fun of. I guess I just don't understand why it needs to happen RIGHT NOW.
Here's the other issue....our vacay time with the boys is coming up....what do you wanna bet his time will be cut short for a dentist appointment that just couldn't be rescheduled or she's just pissed she's not getting her way so she'll make something up so they have to be back? I sincerely hope FDH has the balls to put his foot down on that one too.
Oh yes I've figured that out.
Oh yes I've figured that out. It never fails. With his job he has to plan his vacation time months in advance, he gives her that notice as soon as it's approved....and were talking 6 months notice.....she just can't ever seem to schedule "appointments" outside of that time. He's getting fed up with her shit. In the two years we've been together his tolerance has become next to nothing when it comes to her constant bs as far as his time with the boys is concerned. I'm sure it helps me requiring him to have a backbone and say no.
We do have separate funds.
We do have separate funds. We've had that convo. Were aware kids are expensive as they get older and are doing what we need to do in order to provide for college cars ect for all the kids. We have 5....and that does mean that there is less for each kid as opposed to me doing for my two and him doing for his three. The only way I see it to be fair is for us to both work together to provide for all five....after all we are trying to have a blended family. It's not his and mine, it's ours.