SO blind to SS intention.
SS shouted down "is it just the two of us dad" when asked by SO did he want to play badminton. SO said "it's up to bluehighligter" I said "nah thanks". I went outside to retrieve a notebook from my car and they were both outside. SO again said "ate you gonna play bad mitton"
I said nonchalantly "no didn't think you guys wanted me to play. I'm good. Looking up gardening ideas".
SO:"we asked you if you want to play"
Me: no you asked me.
They play then SO comes in "wth? What was wrong we asked you if you want to play I said no you asked me that. SS. Asked if it was "going to be just the two of us dad". That's all. That was the question you asked me if I wAnted to. I opted out sounded like he just wanted you to play.
SS : dad can you help me I need your help. Buttoning my shirt
SO : seriously ?! Look in the mirror you know how to do that I'm not helping. Seriously ?
This is my night so far.
SS and I have been doing fine but he wants his dad all to himself a lot and he just had him all to himself most of Sunday.
Whatever.
I'm not bothered by them and sort of calling it as I see it and researching dahlias. Pretending to not be phased at all when SS came back to thd room I'm in w SO. Discussing out loud w them what I'm trying to find about the flowers but haven't been able to find yet.
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Kids will lap up as much
Kids will lap up as much attention as they can. Your SS is allowed to get away with his demanding behaviour. That shit should have been nipped in the bud from the day he came home form hospital. His parent/s have allowed him to behave like this andget away with it.
Your reaction can be construed as P/A. So instead say something like ... "Have fun. I have something better to do." or "Go! Play with your son. He wants you!" " No, I am not shitty. I am reading. Is that a problem?"
Start making a life for yourself outside SO. I know it is annoying, BTDT. But by resorting my post apocalyptic life-skills (aka sewing/knitting/crochet)I refused to hang out with DH. His attitude improved 100%. Not all movies were blood and guts and glory. I got to choose as well.... if I didn't have other plans like sewing or quilting or knitting or.....
When you make YOUR world more interesting to you than hanging out with SS then SO will coming running.
Agree. I had plans Sunday w a
Agree. I had plans Sunday w a friend and did bit yoga and I like learning about gardening since I'm new to it. They will eventually come around.
SO doesn't get that SS is actually probably jus trying to exclude me. I've taken a new approach and let SO see for himself point it out nonchalantly and then it seems lately at least that SO catches on and tries to put a stop to whatever the behavior is.
ugh yes!!!!!!!!! A lot more
ugh yes!!!!!!!!! A lot more of that was happening last year "we are doing this do you want to come along?" excuse me? Who are the adults do I even have a choice other than going along with your plans you made for you and your son. This has changed somewhat thank god.
My ss will always ask if I'm
My ss will always ask if I'm going to work today. You can clearly see the emotions on his face based on the answer I give him. After years of him asking and me not feeling wanted in my own him eowe, I just started saying; "I don't know".
yuck I think i'd get pissed
yuck
I think i'd get pissed after a while and be like "are you going away to spend time somewhere else today?" "if i asked you that everyday how would that make you feel, why don't you think about that"