...has led to some interesting things around here.

This may be a long one. Out of the blue about two weeks ago SD7 says she doesn't want to go to her dad's house as often anymore. This is INCREDIBLY shocking to me (and DW, for different reasons), because BioDad is Disney Dad Extraordinaire. All SD7 does over there is play video games, eat junk food, go see movies, go to comic book conventions, etc. Mind you BioDad is always telling my DW he has no money, yet he can afford to eat out constantly, have a new video game or toy for SD7 every week, etc.

Anyway, her BioDad was dating this girl who also has a daughter who is 14 and somewhat developmentally disabled. She is in an alternative high school. BioDad, he of the ever-present money troubles, decides to convince GF to move in so they can share the rent. The GF is a nurse and probably makes decent money - more than barely-employed BioDad makes, for sure. At approximately the same time, BioDad tells my DW that his mother is selling her house and moving in with him (and giving him money to pay for some of SD7's things). BioDad lives in a two bedroom apartment... now with his mom, his girlfriend, GF's daughter, my SD7 ever other week, and himself. It has been this way for a couple of months now. 7 people in a tiny 2-bedroom apartment.

So SD7 mentions that she wants to be with us all week, the weekend and then the next week, and then to her dad's for a weekend and then back to us. Basically seeing her father only two weekends a month (mind you he lives a mile away from us). I'm shocked because SD7 has it so easy over there, DW is shocked because she doesn't think that SD7 could come up with that visitation schedule on her own. I sort of agree, but I also know that SD7 is manipulative as well. Possibly someone mentioned it to her though - maybe the new GF or the GF's daughter? Anyway, DW asked her why she came up with this and she says: "BioDad never takes me outside. I ask and ask and he just tells me to play video games or watch TV. I asked him to take me into the field next to the apartment, but he says it is full of dog poop. I get to go outside every day here." We have a house with a backyard and play structure. BioDad can't be bothered to get off his lazy butt and walk 1/2 mile down the street to a local park (or drive there). He won't even take SD7 for walks around their complex (which is in a decent area). So, we can see SD7's point. SD continues to bring this up while she is with us. DW mentions it to BioDad, he is oblivious, repeats the dog poop line, says he thought SD7 liked video games, etc.

Sd7 comes back from his house and again asks her mom about this new visitation schedule. DW can only get out of her that it is because BioDad never takes her outside. I ask, reluctantly, if she would like me to ask SD7 about it and then report back. So I pick SD7 up from school and she mentions going outside to me and that she wants to be at our house more. I ask: "Is that the only reason?" She says: "Well, no..."

So SD7 proceeds to tell her that her Grandma lives there now and used to be sleeping in the room with her and GF's Daughter. There wasn't enough room in the bedroom. Now Grandma has moved out to the couch and is constantly watching TV, never moves. SD7 says she never gets to watch anything but Grandma's TV anymore, its always the news. Also watches the TV too loud, so SD7 cannot fall asleep until her Gma goes to sleep - usually around midnight. (I'm thinking: maybe this is part of the reason why your grades suffer when you are there). Then she says also that GF's daughter is being a bully towards her, giving me examples of things she has said: "I don't like you. I don't want you here. Get away from me, you smell." Amongst other things... SD7 has to share a room with this girl and has nowhere to go to be alone. (Another reason why HW probably suffers when she is there - no quiet retreat in which to concentrate).

So I report back to my DW. DW is just incredulous that SD7 would tell me these things and not her. The way she phrases this is "I just want to know why she'd tell YOU and not me?" As if I'm lying to her. Thanks a lot, DW, glad you trust me. This is partly what let to our fight on Friday. I told her point blank that: "You keep telling me that you want the best for SD7. You think it is best that SD7's biodad stays in her life. I can understand and respect that, I think both parents should be around. However, her living situation with him right now is clearly harming her to the point where even she doesn't want to be with her Disney Dad anymore. You have to realize something is up." I told her that I never told SD7 I wouldn't tell DW about this and that she should speak to her about it. I also told DW that part of it is probably also that she is no longer her dad's princess. It used to just be him and her and he let her do anything. Now she has another woman there who is actually putting rules in place (I'll post on her sometime soon), as well as another child. BioDad isn't giving her 100% undivided pampering anymore, and she probably resents that.

That was a week ago. SD7 has since gone back to her dad's house without DW bringing it up to her. It'll be interesting to see what SD7 says when she comes back this time.