I hear ya sister. I am having the same problem and it's not so much the upcoming holidays that bother me (thankfully I KNOW that neither skid will be with us for Christmas) it's the damn school break. I have this feeling (especially since DH just asked me last night when I was going to be off during the break) that he is planning on having SS14 (who was caught smoking pot in MY home last weekend) stay with us at some point and right now, I hate this kid. I really do, I don't want to see his stupid face, I don't want him around our BS3, I don't want to even hear his name right now and I told my DH that I don't want him in my house right now. That if he wants to see him I will pay for him to take him to lunch or shopping or something, but I know that DH is going to push me and ram him down my throat, just like he always does.

SD15 lives with us and is (more) tolerable than SS14 right now, but I don't like her either (lots of ugly past there) and don't want her lazy, annoying self loitering around during break. I just know that DH and I are guaranteed to have some type of blow up over skids during the next two weeks and I feel on the verge of a nervous break down. It's like you just can't ever get any peace... ever.

I have always been happy go lucky person and now I am an angry elf. I get angry at the stupidest things and can't seem to stop the cycle.

I equate dealing with skids to burning your hand on the stove. You burn your hand the first time and you learn to be wary of the stove. But alas, you go back to the stove and bam, get burned again. After countless times of this burning routine you begin to hate the stove, you stay as far away from the damn thing as possible, you can't even stand the sight of the stove, don't want to hear the word "stove". And it's not the stove's fault, the stove's just doing what it does right?

Ugh. I totally get what you are saying.... hope we can make it through the holidays alive

Forgiveness is a process, and for it to be genuine, it needs to be on your timetable. Telling you to just magically be able to let things go isn't helpful. Saying it's all in the past is sooooo much easier said than done. I used to feel like there had been too many negative experiences, and so much damage had been done that I would never feel anything but anger and resentment over my situation. It takes time, A LOT of time to get past strong feelings of anger and resentment, especially if you have constant reminders of what damage has been done.

I empathise. My anger and resentment turned so bad that I did get very depressed. Last weekend was the straw that broke the donkey's back for me and I am moving out of our house this Saturday. I would rather move Christmas week than spend one more minute of my time (and peace) with my fiance's kids. He is away on business and I am speaking with him by phone this Saturday to break it to him as gently as I can. But considering he is using me as an emotional punchbag due to all the stress his ex and their kids cause, AND does nothing to change things that are in his control, he is lucky that I might (I say might) still consider being in a relationship with him. Of course he may be so angry that he breaks up but thats ok too. I got sick and tired of SS11 being rude, glaring at me and hating me. And SD15 is a toxic timebomb that has started to explode. Life is too short. My only regret is having to move my own daughter but even she is glad now, she also wants peace for the Holidays.

I'm right there with you. I have never felt such anger and hatred.

In our case we have been in marriage counselor for 2 years and some things have slightly improved, some things still have not and I am seriously considering divorce after 11 years together.

My DH is a great guy and for the most part is a wonderful husband, but when it comes to the skids and BM he still need to grow a set of balls and set boundaries and so far he has been unable to and I hate him for it. He lets them walk all over me.