my story

OK this will probably be the longest back story in history so I apologize in advance. I have been married for almost two years to my amazing DH. I have two kids from a previous marriage. He has one from a previous marriage and we have one child together. I love my DH but his family and his XW makes my life or torment. There had been so many things that constantly happen to rattle my chains I would be on here all night just to list them so I will just stick to the worst of it. I am gonna put it out there. I hate his x and I hate my MIL. I hate the x calls my house every single day even if we do not have the SC. I hate she is always asking questions about our personal business. I hate she goes to my MIL house every week because it is right next door to mine. I hate that my MIL kisses her fanny. I hate the fact my MIL invites her to our family events. I hate every time I am put in a situation where I have to talk to his X all she wants to do is talk to me about when they were together. I am so effected by thiS there are moments when I wish my SC was not around us at all. It has caused problems with not only my SC and I but also my SC with my own BC. My MIL has point blank said my SC is loved more by her and not v even her own blood grandchild with me holds a candle in her eyes and that is how it is gonna be. This has been said in front of my BC more than once. My kids hate when my SC comes which is every other week. Truth be told I'm getting to where I do too because I know what it is gonna be. please tell me I am not the only v woman in the world who is married to an amazing man but has to deal with the same drama as me! How do I make her get out of our lives for good. Both of them.

blessed3412's blog
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I had a lot of sympathy with

I had a lot of sympathy with your situation re his intrusive ex, right till I got to the part where you wanted to solve it by getting your husbands daughter out of his life. How would losing contact with his daughter make your DH feel, because if he's the amazing guy you say he is I imagine that would break his heart. How would you feel if your DH was scheming to get rid of one of your children? The solution to this is for your husband to put his foot down and start setting limits with his ex and his mother, not for him to cease contact with his child. He needs to stop answering the phone every time she calls. He needs to ignore personal questions. He needs to tell his mother that its not appropriate to invite his ex to family events and if she wants SD there she should schedule the events for DH's weekend so he can bring SD. If MIL won't compromise and respect her sons feelings then he needs to explain exactly how he feels about the situation to her and other members of his family and start absenting himself and your family from those events. See his family by hosting family events at your house where you can control who comes. I know how hard these things can be because some of my husbands family still have contact with BM and there's only so much you can do to stop it if that's what they choose to do, but you can choose to take a step back from those tactless family members and you can cut BMs contact with you down by only responding to urgent/important messages and ignoring the rest. You can even plan to move house at some point if MIL continues her bias.

I read it as the X and MIL

I read it as the X and MIL too.

Dh not so amazing in that

Dh not so amazing in that he's not put in boundaries with the x and mil. This, he has to do.

Omgosh - I can relate.

Omgosh - I can relate. Although my in laws are great people, my SS has developmental delays so they feel sorry for him and over compensate with their attention, etc. (my opinion). I am empathetic about developmental delays because my 12 year old has them - Aspergers. Since reading the blogs on this website, I am realizing that nothing is ever going to change with my situation. I feel like a mother bear protecting my biological kids. In my childhood I had a biased step grandma. It was gross. I will not and cannot have my children endure the same crud. I may have to just leave. I see no other option. I am willing to try therapy but how do you change deep seeded childhood issues that spill over into adulthood? AND how do you change the blood family favoring their blood child/grandson over the STEP kids. AINT gonna happen in my situation - although my mom did it eloquently - God bless her. My stepbrothers still call her mom. I guess I should have expected it.