*Sigh* Anyone else get depressed when it's time for the stepkids to come back..?
After 3 wonderful evenings without the stepkids.. it's now time for them to come back to our house.. ugh.
I am not looking forward to them being there when I get home.. their crap everywhere, the fact that they hog an entire room - the main living room and never leave it, how loud they are, how disrespectful they are, how they complain about everything.. just THEM.
I can feel my anxiety level climbing the closer it gets to me heading home.. I'm nervous about what issues will arise tonight.. what will have them in pissy moods or what gossip their mom had to share with them that will cause them to have an attitude..
It's not that I want these feelings.. they aren't phantom fears - it's what happens whenever they are there and it's worse when they come back from their weekend at BM's..
I take a deep breath and put on a happy face and fake it when I walk in the door.. only to be ignored or looked at and then quickly away because god forbid they say "hello" to me.. welcome home? welcome to hell is more like it..
Ah.. the wonderful life of a step mom.. my own home isn't even a sanctuary anymore...
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I do and it's really not SD I
I do and it's really not SD I have the problem with, it's SO's parenting skills. Or should I say, lack of them.
Yup.. they are jellyfish and
Yup.. they are jellyfish and have no spine.. although BM has done sooooooo much damage with her lies and games - she wanted these kids to make our home miserable and has done a fine job at making that dream come true...
DH.. ugh.. he allows them to take over until it gets on his nerves.. then he blows his top and they know he is just making noise.. so they "pipe down and fall in line" for a little bit... then it's back to the same crap
It's sad, isn't it? It's
It's sad, isn't it?
It's almost like going to a job you hate..
YES! I hear ya! Ditto to
YES! I hear ya! Ditto to "welcome to hell" my home is not mine anymore. Even when SD is hiding in her room, I still feel the heavy dark cloud hovering throughout the entire house. This sneaky, antisocial, cruel child has ruined my life. When I met DH, I was under the impression he would have her during summers. But BM decided to commit multiple felonies (fraud) and has disappeared off the face of the earth. So now we have SD full time 24/7. I wake up every morning wondering why I'm still in a nightmare. Nightmares are supposed to happen after you fall asleep, not after you wake up!
Have you tried burning sage?
Have you tried burning sage? (No I am NOT kidding!)
I know.. I feel guilty too..
I know.. I feel guilty too.. because I want to like them.. they just make it so damn hard to.. and then I think "I'm an adult and need to be the bigger person".. again, it's hard because they are so difficult, disrespectful and obnoxious.. how can I like people like that..? even if they are kids?
Plus factor in all the crap they have pulled and the fights they have caused and attempted to cause.. all the hurt they have purposefully inflicted on me.. it sucks and somehow I am supposed to just embrace them..? how?
Yes.. it is like a cloud..
Yes.. it is like a cloud.. especially with regards to ss12.. I feel his hate for me like it's a haze in the air all the time... his beady little eyes searching and waiting for me to make a mistake so he can use it to his advantage..
I feel this way too. It's
I feel this way too. It's nice to know I'm not alone. My sd, for the most part, isn't a bad kid. Manipulative, yes, sneaky, sure, but outright disrespectful, no. I just like the routine we have when it's only my bios here. Everything seems to change when she's here.
Sorry to hear you are living
Sorry to hear you are living this hell too.. it truly sucks.
My daughter is the opposite of them - considerate, warm, talks in a normal voice.. has manners... so it makes me mouth "WTF" about 100 times a day when the skids do what they do.. I just don't get it.
And they are disgusting slobs.. my most recent issue is ss14.. he bites his nails and spits the nails out - wherever he might be.. for the longest time I was finding pieces of someone's fingernails on the couch, ottoman, floor when I would use my dry Swiffer pads - I would see like 3 or 4 pieces of fingernails.. I was like WTF?
I asked who they belonged to - it had to be one of the ss's as my daughter has teeny tiny fingers like her mom.. and of course no one owned up to it. I just said "well, whoever is doing it, please stop - its gross."
So, a couple of weeks ago DH took my car to go pick up the skids from BM's - it's a pretty long drive.. when I took my car to work the next day I was sitting in traffic and my phone fell onto the passenger floor.. when I leaned over to pick it up I noticed several fingernails on my black floormat (I just vacuumed it that weekend so it was spotless).. so I asked DH who rode in the front.. sure enough SS14 did. And the next time he took my car and he rode in the front - same thing.
Sooo.. from now on, I have started a collection of his nails - in a little baggie. I am going to save them up (yes, this is gross) until the baggie is 1/2 full - I then will give it to ss14 and call him on the carpet. Hopefully this will embarrass him enough to make him quit.
I used to feel this way. I
I used to feel this way. I DREADED SS9 coming and having to deal with his shit for two weeks at a time. But he doesn't come anymore, so that's that. No more being stared at with those dead, black, shark-like eyes. So creepy. Now that it's just SS14, it's not so bad.
Except for this time. He acted so immature and airheaded last time, I about lost my mind. So I really didn't feeling like dealing with him when he came back this past Friday. Ugh.
And I feel bad. I do. DH doesn't feel that way about my BS17, who's with us 24/7/365. But then again, BS17 doesn't have the issues the SSs have.
Depressed? That's putting it
Depressed? That's putting it lightly. More like suicidal. It's been over four years since the last one PASed out and I still get "flashbacks." Post Traumatic Skid Syndrome.
SS now only comes twice a
SS now only comes twice a year for two weeks. (in the military) I start getting anxious and on edge about 2 months before his visit. And he has not lived with us in about 2 years!!