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Does everything have to suck?

stepmomsoon's picture

Submitted by stepmomsoon on Tue, 09/17/2013 - 10:45am

I mean really?

My stepsons are hard to deal with, but I really do try..

Last night they were super excited about the Monday Night Football game.. So I made a special meal and fun "tailgate style" snacks for the game..

I like football, but am not a rabid fan.. I'll sit and watch a game while scrolling through pinterest or reading a magazine on my kindle - I don't have to watch every play..

So.. the game comes on and ss12 already is trying to vie for a much later bedtime.. DH gave him an extra 1/2 hour and it wasn't good enough.. the whole first quarter I had to hear sk12 bitch..

Then.. as if what I did wasn't good enough.. they demanded popcorn.. of course they got it..

Sk12 and Sk14 are on fantasy football leagues.. so they have to argue about players, points and crap the entire game..

Because they need to complain and argue.. they have to jack the volume up so the TV is blaring and making your head throb..

Because they are arguing.. and apparently the TV isn't loud enough, they have to rewind and replay every pass and play they are arguing about.. so they can argue some more..

Then ss12 has to go try to use the dog as a pillow - when the dog doesn't like this and we tell him all the time NOT to do this.. but he does it anyways.. resulting in the dog growling..

So now we are telling him to stop.. he is arguing, the dog is growling, the tv is way too loud and all of this leads to yelling that no one can hear the TV..

Then ss14 decides to go get the football.. begins tossing it up and catching it.. often missing it so it slams on the ground..

Dog growling. TV blaring. Kids arguing. Thump.. thump..

DH is getting frustrated, but does nothing.. I am about to lose it..

Is it just me or is this just too much for a person to tolerate at 9:30pm?

I don't expect quiet little church mice, but for the love of god can we please just scale it down a bit? Why does it have to be so loud, so constant.. so obnoxious?

And I wish I could say this is the only time our home is like this.. it's every freaking thing, every freaking day.. dinner, getting ready for school, getting ready for bed, getting ready for sports, watching a movie, playing a game.. it is always loud and difficult..

I am to the point where I hate being home with them.. I avoid them.. I find reasons to leave the house, run errands or go up to my room to be away..

This sucks.. I do not enjoy my home and it's all because of them.. what a way to live..

Comments

PeanutandSons's picture

Submitted by PeanutandSons on Tue, 09/17/2013 - 11:59am

Story of my life. The skids take anything enjoyable to me...they bring their chaos and noise and ruin it. Literally everything.

How would dh react if you were to set some boundaries? I know you should ha e to, that's his job....but just general boundaries to maintain you sanity?

No throwing balls in the house.
TV doesn't go above volume 7 (or whatever a reasonable volume is for your TV)
Dh controls the remote to avoid the incessant replays

Or just refuse to participate in football from now on. No more nice snacks etc. Go watch the game in peace elsewhere.

PeanutandSons's picture

Submitted by PeanutandSons on Tue, 09/17/2013 - 11:59am

Story of my life. The skids take anything enjoyable to me...they bring their chaos and noise and ruin it. Literally everything.

How would dh react if you were to set some boundaries? I know you should ha e to, that's his job....but just general boundaries to maintain you sanity?

No throwing balls in the house.
TV doesn't go above volume 7 (or whatever a reasonable volume is for your TV)
Dh controls the remote to avoid the incessant replays

Or just refuse to participate in football from now on. No more nice snacks etc. Go watch the game in peace elsewhere.

stepmomsoon's picture

Submitted by stepmomsoon on Tue, 09/17/2013 - 1:28pm

I know.. and how can you not resent them for it?

I have tried to work with DH regarding these things.. like sk12 and the dog.. we set the boundaries and they defy them whenever they feel like it. And DH is the KING of inconsistent parenting.. I tell him ALL THE TIME if you make a rule you better stick to it and the consequences.. I hate being the one to remind him that "uh, hey... yesterday you told them __________ and now today it's ________"

I have told sk14 not to toss the damn football in the house.. he's like "I'm not, I'm only throwing it up in the air to myself."... argue and talk back... it's how they are.. I am sick of always being the one who is the bad cop..

TV volume is a constant issue.. because we have an open floor plan, we have to constantly adjust it.. and if they turn it up because someone is using the microwave or the dishwasher is on, they never turn it down.. so what happens? They get used to it being loud and keep it that way...

Etc.. they are just annoying..

So, yes.. I have opted out of family football night because of them.. they won't quit the bickering and loudness.. the won't not lie on the dog to see if we will say something about it.. they won't not toss the football for those same reasons..

If it's something I can opt out of and avoid interaction with them, I will from now on.. no use making my life more difficult.

stepmomsoon's picture

Submitted by stepmomsoon on Tue, 09/17/2013 - 1:33pm

It's constant.. there is no talking.. only a constant loud tone with intervals of yelling.. it's like nails on a chalkboard to me. Their voices irritate me.

They one up each other. Call each other idiots. Boss each other around. Irritate each other.

And don't get me started on the amount of noise they produce: slam the door when they come home. plop their crap down with a thud. kick off their shoes with a thud. stomp through the house. open every damn cabinet and LEAVE them open (anyone else deal with that?). slam the refrigerator. slam the bathroom door. stomp up the stairs. slam their bedroom door...

thankfully they don't fight over females.. no females in their right minds want anything to do with them..

I.Just.Live.Here's picture

Submitted by I.Just.Live.Here on Wed, 09/18/2013 - 2:38am

Jeez, my SS is 4 and he already stomps around all the time... I can't even imagine how he's going to be at 12 or 16!!! :O We practice 'quiet feet' though he doesn't really get it most of the time.

sasha101's picture

Submitted by sasha101 on Tue, 09/17/2013 - 2:27pm

If my ss's carried on like that, they'd get one warning and then the TV would be turned off and they'd be sent to bed! DH is a bit too tolerant of shouting/stamping around but afer me telling him I don't wish to feel like I'm living in a school playground, he's learned to be firmer with them and will issue consequences if they get out of hand. I feel sorry for your poor dog and I hope it gets its own back on them one day. If/when they're being irritating and your dh does nothing about it, I would simply retire with my dog to my room, take my laptop/kindle and relax. let their father deal with their crap and clean up their mess. I certainly wouldn't be making them nice meals and giving them treats if they choose to act like savages - all they deserve is a kick up the butt and an early bed time!

just.his.wife's picture

Submitted by just.his.wife on Tue, 09/17/2013 - 8:38pm

Wasn't sure which posting you were checking blog or forum so posting my answer to both:

Normal guy stuff that is being allowed to happen.

Guys will get noisy, doing ANYTHING if not brought into check.

My boys (bio, step and husband) get one warning: Me yelling "VOLUME!" if that warning is ignored I will 'suddenly' remember something freaking boring as hell to any male on the face of the earth that I have to tell them about RIGHT NOW to kill their enjoyment in whatever they are doing.

Literally the most boring topic you can think of: once it was a complete, one sided discussion, on how nail fungus can be transmitted in nail shops via the brushes in the fingernail polish. How it is transferred, the damage the fungus can do as well as how to treat and prevent it.

Another time it was a 20 minute discussion (that the sd's joined in on) of the joys of cramping and clots. You have NEVER seen males shut up and turn green so fast in your life.

For sports events, I demand inside voices. If they yell, TV goes OFF. Now, I do understand they are going to get irate with the referees or players over bad plays/calls. To allow them to blow off steam (without blowing out my ear drums) each male watching the game brings three pairs of rolled up socks to the couch with him. When a crappy play/call happens, they can lob the balled up socks at the TV screen to vent their ire.

Win/win/win: they get to react to the crappy play/call and I do not get a migraine AND the TV isn't broken by a remote or something else solid being thrown at it.