And the hits keep coming..

Last Friday.. DH went to Sk14's football game.. I got there about 15 minutes later as I dropped sk12 off at his practice..

I walk across the stand and go talk to my neighbor who was sitting by DH and some of our friends.. a couple minutes go by and DH says something about BM accusing me of flipping her off as I walked by her in the stands? I was like "huh?"

DH said that while I was talking to out neighbors, BM came over to where he and I were sitting and said something like "real nice, flipping me off!.. blah blah blah"..

WHAT?? First of all I did NOT flip this chick off.. DH saw me walking across the stands and can validate this as we pretty much made eye contact the whole time.. Second.. uh, if I flipped her off wouldn't I be looking out for a response? I mean, I am not so ice cold that I could flip someone off and nonchalantly walk over to my neighbor and ask her how she was feeling after her recent surgery.. and completely ignore BM who came over to tell me off.. somehow I completely missed her coming over.. maybe because I didn't flip her off, thus had a clear conscience and no worries what so ever.. Third, flipping her off in a stand full of neighbors, other parents of kids our children go to school with would be ignorant and self destructive..

So yea, that was great.. but it gets better..

BM actually spent some time with the SK's this weekend and guess what she tells them..? Yup.. step mom flipped me off at SK14's game.

Now, this is not the first lie this woman has told about me .. there are too many to list and each and every time it has been to the SK's.. she hates me and hates the fact that I am raising her kids - oh well, she bailed on them, deal with it.

Truthfully, I hate her as well.. and have every right to flip her off or worse.. I am at my wits end and to the point where I can't take this crap anymore..

Anyways.. we get the skid's back last night.. pick them up from her house at 7pm and make the hour or so haul back to our house.. skid's have an attitude.. in the back of my head I think I know why, but I say nothing.. I already told DH Friday when all this happened that she will tell her little fairy tale to the kids..

Sure enough.. after we get everyone to bed, sk14 wants to talk to DH - this is his usual shit.. get DH alone after everyone is in bed so he can bitch about things.. (and delay his bedtime).

I walk by his room on the way to let the dog out and hear sk14 sure enough talking about me "flipping his mom off".. I pretty much saw red and had reached the end of my rope with this crap. I walk in and say "wait a minute" - "no, you are wrong. I did not flip off your mom - that is 100% a LIE"

SK14 gets mouthy and defends her ass.. I manage to stay calm and say "look, I would not do something like that" and proceed to give him the 100's of reasons this is wrong, that is not who I am and not something I would do.. I then go on to tell him how it is not right to involve you in these things and what do you think your mom was trying to accomplish by sharing this with you? He just looked at me.. I said "I think you know - the same thing she tries to accomplish each and every time she tells you one of her made up tales about me or something I did." I then tell him "your mom is teaching you hate. your mom wants you to hate me because she does and that is sick and damaging to a child." I said a lot more about how wrong it is and how she needs to not involve you in these things..

I am soooo pissed off. These kids are already extremely difficult and have loads of behavioral issues.. they are just asses - plain and simple.

I know they don't like me.. and really, I struggle every day to try to put up with their asses.. BM is training them.. training them to hate me - wants them to hate me.

I really don't know how to proceed. DH is pissed at them and BM.. he sees it and agrees that no matter what I do at this point, they aren't ever going to like me until she stops her shit.. and even once that is done, it will take tons of time for them to get over that..

advice?