You are not an awful guy.

You already know the answer. You don't want that for the rest of your life, and you know that. If you have been long distant and feel that way, its only going to get harder.

Move on before it goes further. It will hurt, then it will fade, then you will move on, then you will have the life you really want.

When you first get married, its called the honeymoon phase, things settle out from there. Not saying they get worse exactly, but if the honeymoon phase isn't all rainbows and sunshine, just know when the shiny fades, you are left with something different. If you don't even really like the shiny, you will be left with nothing.

Its easy to get married, its a bitch to get divorced

One thing I learned the hard way twice, is you do marry the family. My XHs mother and brother were thorns from day one. I thought since we lived 20 hours away it wouldn't matter - and was surprised how much they were in our lives considering the distance. I was educated, my XH was not - and that over time became an issue for us too (not saying it would for you but you have already noted it), I finally divorced him.

My DH is the love of my life, I adore his family. I tolerate his kids. Even with all of that, just being able to tolerate his kids has made this marriage very very difficult.

Read your yellow flags, they are there, you have to ask yourself, is that good enough, will you be happy, is this what you want... and listen to your answers.

your in a tough spot. but i did take notice of the ages of these kids, 18, 16 and 14. Now I think it depends alot on how Mom raised these kids. if she raised them to independent, if so you could look forward to college and then them working and maintaining their own homes. Therefore making your life easier.

if she has raised them to always depend on her, your screwed.

and give up the term or thought of them "liking" you, you cant win that battle.

toleration may be all you ever get, and thats ok too as long as it is from a far, like their own house!

Be careful with bad inlaws. My MIL was fine (she has always had some quirks) before we got married last year, but in the past 6 months, she has really been causing problems. I am dealing with my husband's adult kids, who are 20, 21, and 24. They all live with their mother and grandmother. They are horrible, which I saw up front, but my husband has set boundaries and he puts me first. However, it has been difficult, as the "kids" are getting worse, and my MIL is getting more deluded. My MIL does not even have a relationship with them, but her ideas are so wacky, I have no clue what lengths she is going to go to, to get my DH on "her side." He is very strong, but I don't know.

Inlaws aside, the kids may not like you, but they better respect you. My DH's kids hate me because their father and I are happy and productive, among other reasons. But, my DH puts me first and does not allow them to treat me badly. I want nothing to do with them, and he understands why.

I think you definitely have a lot of thinking to do...just remember that you need to be happy. And while it may hurt to leave now, it may be the best thing for you. Don't stay if you feel in your heart it is time to go.

I have to tell you, I love my husband, but if I could turn back the hands of time, I would. He is very good to me, but this whole situation can be exhausting, and although I thought I had analyzed this totally, I was not prepared for some things that have happened, and will probably continue to happen.

I got to the part where you said that your relationship over the past 4 years has been mostly long distance... and you have doubts. I don't see how if you are already feeling this way, you could possibly think that marriage, moving in together and having a "happily ever after" will work.

Are you thinking that perhaps there is a potential "end" in sight since the skids are a bit older? Is the skids father in the picture or does your GF have them 100% of the time?

You are not an awful guy, you are an itelligent guy to question if this is what you want. Please, if you want a family of your own and you are 46 don't waste another moment of your life that you are never going to get back. I have a very good guy friend who has been stuck in a relationship (his own doing) with a woman he does not love for almost 8 years. He would be the best father ever, is a wonderful, wonderful man and will most likely never have a family of his own now, because he won't grow the balls to walk away.

You know in your heart what you need to do, what will make you happy. Follow your heart

Walk away and don't look back. It's easier if the kids are younger and you kinda grow on them, but older kids are much harder nuts to crack. If you actually took the time to google "don't like my stepkids" and ended up here with us, you CLEARLY already know the answer to all your questions. Follow your heart, and that little voice inside that is telling you that you are unhappy and you should walk away now.

Everyone here are correct. You know the answer already, and honestly, things wont get better, only harder.

For the first 4 years after my divorce, I didnt allow any men into my life, other than the occasional Friends with Benefits, in which, neither of my kids got to meet!! However, at around year 5 I entered into a long distance relationship with a guy I grew up with. Thatwas before the relationship I am entered into now. I was in a long distance relationship with a guy, who had no kids, and myself, with two kids. Although we didnt have any problems with the children, (mostly because he came during the weeks they were with the BF) we did go visit him once for two weeks. It all worked out well and my kids seemed to really like him. Our relationship did end, but not because of anything to do with my kids - for other reasons. However, that relationship showed me that I could let men into my life.

So then I met my now boyfriend. We dated for a year, met each others kids. He has two older children SS14 and SD16. At first I worried about SD16... turned out, she wasnt the one to worry about. I saw little hints of what living with my boyfriend would be like, but chose to ignore them. I thought things were great except for the occasional disturbance in behaviour from SS (I shouldnt have dismissed them so easily). So then we decided to move in together. We lived together (maybe) 3 months and the shit hit the fan (excuse my language). Its been over a year now that we've been living together, and I can be honest in saying, that we have a few good weeks, a few bad months, a few good weeks, a few bad months. SS14 has been nothing but trouble, in which, I am now in the process of financially preparing to get out if/when I need to (just in case). There really is only so much of this one person can take.

So you really need to ask yourself: Is SHE worth your sanity? Because it wont be a bed of roses, it might very well be constant thorns!