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Aftermath of the confrontation

praying's picture

I am still in disbelief at what transpired on Friday. It was about the bottle of vodka I found in Ss's room. I told my husband as soon as he got home from work and he got very upset. I did not want to be involved in giving out the punishment but I told my Dh to make sure that he gives an appropriate punishment. He is notorious for letting things slide when it comes to Ss. I was going to be present when we talked to him about why he was drinking in the first place.

We waited for Ss to get home from school and after I sent the other kids to the basement to play, we talked to him. I think what shocked us both was that Ss was not even surprised to see the bottle. He just stood there and said "Ok.." My Dh starts getting angry and asks him how he's been getting it. It turns out that all kids need to do these days is hang outside a store and offer 10 dollars for some adult to buy you alcohol. What is wrong with people?

Ss just sat there emotionless, staring at the wall behind us. My Dh asked him why he was doing it and all he said was that it helps him sleep. That sounds like a sign of an alcoholic to me. I could not contain myself and I asked him if he forgot all the talks we had about him mixing alcohol and his meds. He looked at me straight in the eye and said no, he did not forget. He was being very forthcoming and scarily calm. I think it disarmed my Dh completely. He had been ready for a shouting match. He did not expect this reaction from Ss.

We talked to psychiatrist and told him what was going on. He wanted to change the drug combinations as well, so he will be meeting with Ss to talk about and as well as to address the drinking. As for the punishment, my Dh told Ss that he was grounded and no tv,computer and video games. And he had to write an apology note to me and Dh. We are pretty big on apology notes in this family. It sounds like a great punishment except Ss acts like he is grounded all the time anyway.

And today I was taken completely aback when my Dh said he wanted to give Ss the new iphone. Ss already has the Iphone 4. My Dh wants to give Ss's old phone to my daughter. This is my problem. He punishes Ss and within 3 days he wants to give him a gift. And apparently this is not even a Christmas gift. My Dh makes good money and I do not limit him spending it (as long as he has made the contributions to all accounts and bills). But this is so contradictory. I hope Ss's appointment with the psychiatrist goes well.

Comments

Ifeeya's picture

These are the drama of being a SM. Welcome to the life of a SM. You know you want it. You know you craze the drama before if you didn't you would walked away a long time ago. So, just be honest to yourself and admit that you are actually craze the drama. It makes your life much more exciting.

Truthfully, I really don't know why someone would want to be a SM. When you are choosing to be a SM, you are just writing your own death sentence.

If you think your life as a SM will be a happy one, you have been watching too many movies. Reality tends to differ when it comes to being a SM. It sucks!

WeddedBliss.sofar's picture

"Truthfully, I really don't know why someone would want to be a SM. When you are choosing to be a SM, you are just writing your own death sentence."

Ifeeya - are you a SM? You've been asked and you have never answered.

If you are a SM - why did YOU CHOOSE to become one?

Madam Hedgehog's picture

I was just wondering this same thing. Most of Ifeeya's posts are bit apocalyptic and tend to blame the step for being in the situation rather than offering constructive feedback.

I've been pretty curious about what s/he is doing here.

cant win for losin's picture

Psht, not me. Ifeeya never has anything productive to add to anyone's post and just needs to leave!

alwaysanxious's picture

praying. I know you are struggling with SS's history. I think you need to just back out of all of this. I see your SS getting worse with time. Not better. If DH is going to reward him with electronics while taking other things away (inconsistency) he will have to do it on his own. I know you feel like you are supposed to be supportive of your DH. I just don't think you are going to win here with SS. Everyone feels too sorry for him.

praying's picture

Thank you for all the comments, advice and opinions. My Dh is holding off on giving the phone until next week. He wants to give it after Ss has his first therapy session with the new therapist. He is hoping it will lighten up Ss's mood a bit. I can't fight it anymore. Especially when I have such string feelings of guilt as well.