The thing is, no, this is only the consensus because USUALLY the bioparent does not set boundaries with their children or with their ex. You have a leg up since you are the mother and can demand there be respect for your SO.

It's also usually because the bioparent does not take their SO's feelings into consideration when it comes to decisions n the household, and lets the children rule house.

are you reading about how the bio parents allow their children to treat others??

I think it is more of an action and reaction issue.
As a bioparent myself, I would be mortified if my kids mistreated or disrespected their stepmom. Or anyone.

I raised my kids better than that. And I don't care how old they are I can still spank their butts!

That being said, I think you are somewhat missing the point of this site.
Most steps on here are left to there own devises bc of the bio dad or mom that is using the guilty parenting structure or even better.. the free range parenting non structure!!

If you allow your child to treat your SO in a disrespectful manner and allow to sets of rules. One for your darling child and another for everyone else, then yes, expect problems.

if you are one of those rare fathers that can distinguish the difference and can parent accordingly.. and your exwife doesn't carry your balls in her purse then, hey!! more power to you!!!!

AT this point, you've really given us nothing to go on to make any sort of judgement on your situation so it's kinda hard to know what you are expecting in response to your question.

Realize the people on this site are here to vent and get support, because they are in horrible situations, with kids who disrespect them and are allowed to run all over them.

In most situations, the people who are saying they don't like their step kids, are really saying they don't like the way their stepkids behave. And most of the kids on here would be difficult for anyone to like... not just step-parents, but teachers, police officers, servers in restaurants, store clerks.... because the kids have been raised and allowed to act like complete brats and don't treat anyone with common courtesy. A few of them treat everyone with common courtesy except for step parents, because the bio parent influenced that.

IMO, most (not all) of the situations on here are really down to the fact that the kids' parents didn't raise them well....

bio moms who use their kids to take out all their bitterness and anger on the step parents.

bio parents who are so guilt ridden over the marriage not working that they spoil their child and set no boundaries.

The good news is, you are the bio mom, and the custodial parent. You have great influence. If your SO likes your child now, and you continue to raise your child right, and have appropriate boundaries, and not spoil the child, you have a better than average chance that your child will continue to be likable. Please expect your child to treat all adults with common courtesy...

Yes your child will make mistakes, yes all children are difficult to be with at times, but if you don't allow them to be horrible, chances are the adults in their life won't strongly dislike them.

This is a vent site for stepparents. You will find that the vast majority on here either hate, can't stand, wish they'd go away...etc...their skids.
However, if you search for happy, better blended families, you will find there are many of those as well.

I had a successful blended family in my first marriage. I love SD like my own, and even now that she's an adult, we have a great relationship. It is possible.

I am here because of the skids from my second marriage.

We all have our own legit and some not-so legit reasons why we dislike or are not particularly fond of our SK. Some skids are a breath of fresh air, but most are not! That is pretty much the reality of it. We love our men BUT for most of us we unfortunately have to deal with horrible kids and ex's that make things difficult whether intentionally or not they do. I'm sure we all realize and know that this is a package deal if we want to be with our SO BUT we still dont have to like it! It is not easy blending families and dealing with someone elses kid(s) and ex especially when all you really want is to just have your man to yourself and share your life with them as stress and drama free as humanly possible...it just stinks period! I hate having to share my man with someone else! All I want is to spend every moment with him but I can't because he is a father. I know it is good that he is not a deadbeat but like I said it still stinks having to share your time and his attention and affection with someone else....

I adore my stepson. It's the BM that brings me to this website.

I dont think tell my DH all my fustrations . His kids piss me off at time and I just have to vent else where. I do talk about important issues...but I don't tell him that I get so annoyed when his 11 yr daughter asks 1000 questions in less than 30 mins.
I just try to walk away or get her to go and do something. If even Bio parents get tired of parenting ..for stepparents is a voluntary torture at times ..

Not all SMs hate their skids. I don't hate mine. I have had moments of severe dislike, but that happens with my Bios too. It's a KID thing not a SKID thing for me. What I do hate however is how the BM uses the Skids as pawns in her game of "TRASH THE DAD". Always telling her kids that their dad left them for me, that their dad doesn't love them, that their dad does for me and not for them. THAT I hate.

My daughters have a good relationship with their SM.

This is because I encouraged it. I have zero tolerence for my children to disrepect anyone. They were instructed, by me to treat her with respect when at their dad's house. To listen to her as they would any authoritative adult (teacher, grandma, aunt, parent) and that was that.

I WISH DH had the guts to have empowered me the way I empowered my bio's SM relationship. DH did not. I have no relationship with my steps really - a little with SD but nothing with SS. I don't know that I ever will bother to try again either - if DH doesn't empower the relationship, its a lost cause for me.

So - understand as others have said, WE are here due to the situation our DHs\DWs have put us in. Many of us are just holding on fighting a losing battle.

So, you have a daughter and an ex with whom you communicate just fine, and a SO who gets along well with your daughter....

Seems like you've got it pretty good. Don't screw your daughter by picking a fight with her future stepmom, or allowing her to walk all over your SO.... you'll be just fine.

Like the newspaper you only get the bad stories here.

You must have a decent, mature ex that doesn't cause drama.