I hate to feel this way!
I think finally I have a place to go. If everything goes as plans, I am moving to a small town 3 hours away with the help of a new acquaintance. I should be excited to have a chance to start a new life, however, I am not. My heart is breaking, I am so angry with him right now but on the other hand I already started to miss him before stepping out. I wish I could hate him more, I wish I could hate him to pieces. All the dreams and plans we made are all gone like dandelion dusts.
I was away for 2 days to check out this new town I am going to move to. While I was away, he sent me a text said I could stay until the end of next week when he would be on vacation with his kids up north, he said he didn't want to rush me out and that he missed me. Why he had to do this? Why he had to say he missed me? I am hurting so much. I can't imagine how I would feel the morning I wake up find him not there. Why can't I be tougher? I hate to feel this way!
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Because he's trying to
Because he's trying to control you, and controlling personalities are *very* good at their special brand of manipulation. Stay strong.
I truly understand hurting so
I truly understand hurting so bad that it literally would be easier to have broken limbs. I was so crazy about the love of my life that it took me a long time to get over it. It was sooooooo painful.
But the good news is that I did get over it. He means absolutely nothing to me now - not good or bad. I had to be the one to leave the relationship because of how crappy he treated me which made it even harder to know that it was my choice.
I won't tell you that you won't hurt - but I will tell you that it is worth the hurt to remove a toxic person from your life no matter how much you love him.
He's saying that to keep
He's saying that to keep control over you. He doesn't want to be with you but he wants you to want to be with him. I'm glad you found somewhere to go. I know it is hard but keep looking toward your future and cut him off completely ASAP.
In this case I miss you
In this case I miss you doesn't mean he feels bad about how things ended. It means I want ass.
I bet anything he will try to have sex with you before you move out. Hell, he may still try once you're gone. Don't fool yourself into thinking he's sending mix signals or has changed his mind.
When you think of missing
When you think of missing him, remember walking home in the storm. His lack of concern for your well being at all. That's not the act of someone who loves you. That's a dickhead.