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Hurt SO

Lalena75's picture

SO ended last night upset over father's day. After my exh finally (3 hours late and not a single response to my texts on f2f at least dd told me what was up). The kids are goin on about their weekend. About the cookout they went to, and dd is having a major hormonal meltdown had chopped 3 inches off her hair (she also just started Prozac for depression a month ago). She's upset about everything and were talking. Ds is asking to get on the computer so I said sure.
Dd calms down goes to her room and SO mouths to me he's hurt they didn't even say happy father's day to him. I probably handled it wrong and mouthed back "really your not their dad just my bf."
He pushes to hard I've told him just let me parent and support me doing that, they have a dad not the greatest but he does parent he does support my choices with the kids and punishments and such. Yeah he could see them more but doesn't want to, he's lazy and not active with them in much (he shows to major events or games) we live 2 blocks away and he's just eh. Buy he's their dad and lately SO has made not so great comments about their dad in earshot and I had to shut him up and told him what he said was a lie and never speak like that again if the kids are in earshot.
I told him he got father's day with his kids, that I who has no kids with him celebrated him as a dad to his kids. My Dr had to of over heard and came out told him happy father's day sorry she hadn't earlier she was focused on her own problems and then he was a jerk to her about it. I loudly said eh if wishing a man not your dad happy father's day gets you crap skip bothering.
I don't feel comfortable feeling like my kids should wish him that. I hated being forced to do stuff like that for my SM she treated us like dirt, SO loves my kids he tries to hard and really just needs to worry less about mine more about his, and and keep my kids dad out of his mouth that carp isn't cool with the kids around, and not push and I feel put between a rock and a hard place with this. What say you, thoughts, ideas? I know he was hurt they didn't even think to wish him that because he's a dad in general but if I I'm lost on this one and it bugs me.

Comments

DaizyDuke's picture

I don't see how it matters whether kids are his or not. Hell on Mother's Day, our 26 year old friend came to the house and the first thing he said when he walked in the door was "Happy Mother's Day Daizy" I'm certainly not his Mother, but it's Mother's Day.. um even the checkout lady at the dang grocery store told me "Happy Mother's Day". SD15? Not a fucking word. That bites.. and I can't even stand SD. It seems as though your SO is good to your kids, so I can see where he would feel hurt.

Lalena75's picture

That's just it my kids are usually very grateful to him, and dd Eddie attempt to tell him happy father's day after she and I dealt with her meltdown and he got posts with her. Ds I know is having some loyalty issues with his dad and some PAS attempts by his dad's gf and I agree saying something to him for father's day because he is a dad is nice, but I just don't know how to handle that I don't care if his kids acknowledge me on mother's day so it's different for us in how we each feel about our roles. I struggle to help my kids handle blending because I interact different with his than he does mine. And it was way late when they got home