I'm assuming that DH isn't the first DH on this website that has to deal with this from BM.

So BM is a complete witch. She has as of recent decided that she is going to go on a fact finding mission (also known as lying)and document every little thing via email that she thinks DH is failing at. I'm assuming she planning on using it in court if it ever gets to that point between the two of them.

She emailed DH in regards to the kids going to the doctor. Which is fine. DH needs to know if there are any health issues with the kids. When she ended the email she told DH that he threw himself under the bus because the kids told their doctor that DH just lets them eat candy all of the time, doesn't make them wear a helmet when they ride their bikes, and lets them ride around in his car without a seatbelt on.

Now I find this really interesting that a doctor, out of the blue, would instigate that type of conversation asking the kids about life at DH's house and the kids would only respond with those answers with two children during a doctors visit. But according to BM that's exactly what happened and she had nothing to do with it.

The kids do ride thier bikes without helmets in the subdivision that we live in. We have helmets for them, they just don't put them on when they go out and ride their bikes. It's not illegal and they haven't gotten hurt. The seat belt thing was addressed six months ago. DH used to let the kids take their seat belts off when he was about to pull into the garage when he got home. He no longer allows them to that and I really don't think it was that big of deal in the first place. And the candy thing, DH and I let the kids pick out three pieces of candy after dinner if that's what they want for a treat. Not the end of the world.

DH did respond, of course he's p!ssed, and basically tallied off all of the near death encounters the kids have had in her care. This of course p!sses her off and she replied back with, "I don't understand why you're being so defensive." Whatever. If the comments weren't meant to upset DH than why say them.

How is DH supposed to respond to her trying to document lies, getting the kids involved in them, and trying to get their doctor involved? Should he defend himself? Should he just not respond? Should he call the kid's doctor and explain what's going on with BM?