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CO says what?

Lalena75's picture

Well SO finally went to BM's lawyers to pick up what we both expected to be a laughable version of what SO wanted, after the mediator sent an email with a bunch of mess ups on what they actually agreed on and using BM's lawyers version of a vague bs parenting plan. SO had then sent copies of texts from BM along with her threats, and disagreeing with the mediator and how she was again going to with hold the kids and go for sole custody because SO won't be her bitch.
The parenting plan he got is almost exactly what he asked for!
There is a mistake on switch days which is supposed to be Fridays and the lawyer put Monday, they already do Fridays and SO and I think switching to Monday would be bad both because of the change and for the kids who already struggle in school to switch after school on Monday.
So SO is going to ask that it be changed to Fridays per what they already do and agreed on in mediation, change the word weekend since they do week at a time, and ask for a moving clause to be added since BM keeps threatening to move and make SO drive to get and drop off the kids.
Here's a question on wording though, The agreement right now (that will be changed to Friday) says:
"BM name" shall have the children in her care on alternating weekends commencing each Monday and concluding the following Monday. Transfer shall occur at the school when school is in session, with the parent whose week is concluding delivering the children to school, and the parent whose week is to begin collecting the children at the conclusion of the school day. (there is provisions for non school days)
Does it sound like BM is getting "visitation" with this wording? SO plans to text BM about changing it to say Friday with a bit of a wording change (BM's never read any of the plans she says that's what her lawyer is for lol) then forward her most likely yes response the her lawyer requesting the agreed upon change to say:
BM names shall having parenting time commencing on alternating Fridays and concluding the following Friday. and then all the stuff about when and where.
SO feels that since it is joint 50/50 completely splint down the line with holidays it's equal neither are directly given residential this wording is in a way proving a loop hole for SO to claim residential with BM getting "parenting time".
Thoughts, opinions? Btw way in case it affects opinions this is an IL case, and I'm really glad this part will be over soon, SO already expects to start documenting BM in contempt soon after the CO is in effect. In all honesty other than getting the switch day fixed to Friday SO was given a great offer without an attorney all due to everything I learned here from all of you guys. He's going to get to be the active parent to his kids with a great parenting plan to beat BM about the head with.

Comments

Kilgore SMom's picture

50/50 custody can leave room for some agruements on things like holidays. I would have something wrote in there that states SO gets kids even years hoildays and BM gets kids odd year holidays. I think that the transfer should be on the Monday. But thats just me. I also would have something stateing that neither parents can move over three countys away.

Even if its gets change to friday the time ends up being the same.

Good luck

Lalena75's picture

Holidays are all spelled out,split on all but 4th of July, and Labor/Memorial day they alternate and yeah the weekend thing had us chuckling because well her lawyer isn't all there anymore (age is up there) and it's week on, week off. More SO and I are curious if it sounds to others like he is residential (it doesn't specify) and that sentence is BM's "visitation"

12yrstepmonster's picture

In our case BM is custodial. Dh co states what he gets. Not BM.

So to me if the CO is written to state what BM gets then I would think dh has everything else.

whatwasithinkin's picture

your holidays are split? doesnt your state have a standard holiday schedule?

the reason i ask is from experience I have found that the interaction with the EX on holiday the less the better. Our state alternates odd and even years

Lalena75's picture

They are splitting the major ones Christmas and Thanksgiving sort of. It's the mediators screw up on all the holidays really but SO is kinda at the fuck it point our state is so backward on custody my parents were the first in the county to do shared 50/50 and was the worst set up ever. at least SO's is far better than that. They've split Thanksgiving and Christmas the last 2 years and it's worked well she never wants the kids for her full time anyway, so we don't have issues there usually she's always late and brings them early once the CO is done and signed he can hold her to it, and it's got a late clause so we can move on with our day if she's later than 1 hour without agreement and 1 hour notice.