I do put my marriage first and I feel we should stand together as a united front.

My DD11 has to treat DH with respect like she would any adult and we have no issues at all. She loves him. If she did treat him badly, there would be consequences.

My SD16 treats me like crap and DH accepts it because he says she treats everyone that way.

My exh is not around and he and his wife are divorcing and he is in rehab right now but when I met his wife I was nice to her!

I actually parent my DD11. I expect certain things from her. I don't want her to turn out like SD!! I don't bury my head in the sand and pretend things are not happening. I call her out on everything.

After seeing how SD has turned out, I will do the opposite of everything DH has ever done!!

do you love your kids more than anything or anyone, but put your marriage first?
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I would not get married/live with my DH for MANY years. This would be one of the reasons why. Because my kids did come first.

do you let your kids treat your spouse/SO the way your SKs treat you?
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Neither my skid or kids would disrespect the step parent the way they are allowed on here.

-How do you handle things with your kids SM?
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No stepmom.

My kids come first. They care treated as children in the family, not adults, but if it came down to it I will not to anything against their best interest for anyone.

My son is expected to be respectful to everyone. Hes only 4 but if he's ever being rude both dh and I back each other up and act as a united front. Dh never backs me up with the skids and never calls them on their crap.

Dh is my kids dad so they don't have a sm.

do you love your kids more than anything or anyone, but put your marriage first?
I put my marriage first

-do you let your kids treat your spouse/SO the way your SKs treat you?
Hell know and there have been times in the last 8 years that my DD's have paid a heavy price for miss treatment of my spouse which I probably why I hold so much resentment that DH does not adhere to the same level of respect provided to me.

-How do you handle things with your kids SM?

Nope had to rope in their step mom she stepped out of place a couple of times early on and right from the beginning I made it clear that my Ex and I would be handling situations surround our children and she was told when input was needed she would be asked. Her and I have had this understanding for a long time, and it works for us

Marriage first.

I love my BS27, he is my child always, not my friend. I have always been a parent to him. BS27 is respectful of DH, I don't care how old or how tall that boy is...I can get a chair to stand on to knock him about the head if he was ever disrespectful to DH.

I do not have anything to do with ExH, I would be respectful to his DW if I ever met her.

I love my kids something fierce, and I love my DH as only a wife can. Both my kids AND my DH understand they are different types of love and one does not take away or replace the other.

My children have tried once or twice to be pesky teenagers and ignore/give a little lip to me and my DH but they're called out (by me) before they can wipe the sneer off their faces. Dh appreciates that, but unfortunately there is no reciprocity when it comes to his kids.

No stepmom to deal with (thank God) because I'd probably be one of those BM's we all complain about on this site

GOOD topic! I'm a BM of DD15 (part time, I only get her during school breaks, summer - she lives with her dad 1300 miles away full time for school years). I'm SM to SD14 who currently lives full time with her BM about 5 miles away and no longer has visitation enforced with my DH.

In answer to your questions:

-do you love your kids more than anything or anyone, but put your marriage first? I do love my daughter more than anything, but yes, my marriage comes first. I would never neglect her, shove her aside or put her needs below anyone else's but I definitely put my marriage first over anything else.

-do you let your kids treat your spouse/SO the way your SKs treat you? My DD15 wouldn't treat my DH with disrespect like SD14 treats me. If she did, there's absolutely NO way I'd allow it.

-How do you handle things with your kids SM? We're on decent speaking terms. She's not my DD's official SM, but has lived with my ex and DD for the past few years now so she is treated as SM. If she steps on my toes or I feel she's disrespecting my daughter, I speak up and let her know that's not acceptable to me. She's 6 or 7 yrs older than I am and her two sons are grown. She's not a first time parent but she can be a little nasty from time to time