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Possible divorce

frustratedstepdad's picture

Submitted by frustratedstepdad on Fri, 03/29/2013 - 1:53pm

It's definitely with a lot of sadness that I write this. For those that know me, my wife and I have basically been raising our grandson for almost three years. It has caused a lot of drama and grief in our lives because of us butting heads on the issue. Main issue was my piece of shit SD who basically ran around as she pleased while we took care of her son. Not only did it cause an emotional strain on our marriage, but also a financial strain.

Well after almost 3 years my SD found an apartment about an hour away for herself and her kid, which means we no longer have to figure out daycare or taking care of him at night. Should be cause for jubilation right?

Well because of all the stress we have been through and all the energy we have put into taking care of our grandson, it seems like during that time we have lost our connection with one another, to the point where the wife doesn't know if she still wants to be married to me. I don't say this for sympathy, I say it because those of you who are married and are having problems with your stepkids, let this be a lesson to you all to put your marriage or relationship FIRST above all else!

Comments

Shaman29's picture

Submitted by Shaman29 on Fri, 03/29/2013 - 1:57pm

I'm so sorry. And I completely agree with you, we have to put our marriage/relationships first in order to have the strength to weather the storms.

I wish you all of the best and I hope that maybe she'll agree to marriage counseling and you can work things out. Or more importantly, rediscover your feelings for each other.

Jsmom's picture

Submitted by Jsmom on Fri, 03/29/2013 - 2:00pm

Now is the time to go back to wooing her. DH realized that after he woke up and realized the SD was gone and not coming back. He either needed to step up and focus on our marriage or he was going to be alone again...I would book a weekend getaway today!

Love51's picture

Submitted by Love51 on Fri, 03/29/2013 - 2:30pm

Yes! Start dating again, court her all over again and hopefuly she will remember why she fell in love in the first place. I hope it all works out.

frustratedstepdad's picture

Submitted by frustratedstepdad on Fri, 03/29/2013 - 2:17pm

Thanks for all of your well wishes. I am fighting hard to keep this marriage going. Hopefully she wants to fight just as hard....

stepinafrica's picture

Submitted by stepinafrica on Sat, 03/30/2013 - 1:44am

I think this is the main reason why second marriages are harder. There are usually other people who are more important than the marriage. Usually children, exes etc.

frustratedstepdad's picture

Submitted by frustratedstepdad on Tue, 04/02/2013 - 11:18am

Thanks for the advice Echo. Trust me I am doing everything I can to try and win her heart again. The problem is right now, she doesn't know if that's what she really wants. Kinda funny that she always thought I would be the one to leave her because of the stepkids....

rx2_loco's picture

Submitted by rx2_loco on Sat, 03/30/2013 - 10:28am

I am fairly new here but no one likes to hear about a marriage breaking up. I'm sorry for this and I really hope that you guys can turn things around. Maybe now that there is a bit less stress on you both, you can focus on each other and TRY. Dont just give up.

I have only been with my boyfriend for a year and a half. Living together for 9 months now. He has full custody of his two teenagers. Me and the SS butt heads all the time. He really is the worse kid I have ever encountered and he puts a lot of strain on my relationship with my boyfriend. Most days I dont want to come home from work because I dont want to have to deal with him. Its a constant battle! But then I think of my boyfriend, and I think about the really great relationship that HE and I have. The bond we have. The fun we have. And it gives me strength to come back to this hell hole. I really hope that your wife can remember all the things she loves about you and your relationship together, and deals effectively with all the negative stuff. Good Luck To you and yours!

SoDisappointed's picture

Submitted by SoDisappointed on Thu, 05/03/2018 - 12:49pm

This is truly sad, but a reality more often than not when the marriage is not the most important thing for both parties. I am looking down the road where DW doesn’t know what she wants, and that hurts because it’s her inability to deal with her narcissistic son and how her family excludes me. All she needs to do is set some healthy boundaries and have us both be on the same page. But she values their approval and happiness more than the marriage. Sad.