Yes, I agree. I stand up for myself, regardless of whatever DH may say (he's always been on my side though, I'll give him that). SD won't buck up against me ever again and if she does, she'll KNOW how I feel.

I have not had to deal with a minor skid but I've had many a friend's child and nieces and nephews visiting me over the years.

I've never had a child be mean, cruel and vicious. Tired, cranky, selfish - yes those are normal things in a young child.

But cruelty? Out and out vicious behavior meant to hurt?? No normal human being does that to another. Unless really provoked and then believe me I can rip someone to shreds. I've never done that to a child and rarely rarely has an adult deserved that kind of reprimand.

I do not allow toxic people in my life. I'm all for booting asses out the door for good.

I've always stood up to the skids. They know where they stand with me and that they need to be respectful. With my DH working 2nd shift, I'm usually the one here with them anyways. They actually regard me as the enforcer for the most part. DH is pretty laid back. He also spent a lot of time in that zone. You know the one, where dad's are afraid of making their kids mad because they don't see them enough as it is? Yeah, that zone. He's better now. To the point that now the kids know that if DH is pissed, then they are really in trouble.

I was a middle school teacher before I had my own kids so I was fully prepared to deal with DH's pre-pubescent son (11 at the time). I told him from the beginning what is an acceptable way for him to treat both me and his dad. It was quite a shock to him and he struggled quite a bit in the beginning.

Now he's 13 and is much more respectful in general. I still have to remind him that he in not to speak under his breath when he doesn't like what he is being told. And I have to remind him that I am simply providing him with feedback, when he interrupts me with his excuses. So it's a constant challenge thing - just like it is in a classroom with certain kids. But even the "WORST" kids fall in line after a bit when the adult shows them what is expected of them.

i wish i would have dealt with sd on my own from the very first time she needed dealt with, as i learned the hard way that if i don't deal with it, no one will.

i waited for fdh to do it because i thought he was a normal parent. i know if my kids were being assholes, i would want the chance to handle them myself before someone else jumped in to do it. the difference, which i did not know at the time, is that i WOULD handle my kids. he never handled his brat. i do deal with her on my own now. i make sure fdh is well aware of what is going on, because she likes to tell stories and tattle on me, so i let him read every text or message there is. but it no longer matters because her nasty ways caused her to be blocked from fb and my phone, and since she doesn't have the balls to say to my face the kinds of things she will thru technology, there is nothing to deal with anymore. so i guess i dealt with it pretty damn well! i just wish i had done it years ago.