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Texting a Calling

mikeinca70121's picture

Submitted by mikeinca70121 on Tue, 02/26/2013 - 9:18am

I get home yesterday and wife is on phone. I thought she was talking to her sister as she was laughing and joking for about 30 mins. When she was done i ask how her sister was and she said it was her ex. I got pissed. Im tired of all the calls and texts. On saturday the girls were with him and we put the baby down for the night and sat down for a movie. He kept texting so i just stopped the movie and started doing other things. She blew up and said I need to get over it because they said noone would every come between their friendship. She said no man not even her father would. I believe this is crap. not fair to me. I can see contact over the girls but to just talk and text all the time to much. Am i wrong

Comments

RedWingsFan's picture

Submitted by RedWingsFan on Tue, 02/26/2013 - 9:20am

Sounds to me like she's not over the ex. It's disrespectful to you to interrupt your time together to just chit-chat with the ex.

If no one will ever come between their friendship, there's your answer honey.

Anne Boleyn's picture

Submitted by Anne Boleyn on Tue, 02/26/2013 - 9:20am

That is ridiculous. She is having an emotional relationship with another man and I wouldn't stand for it. Hell, I've even put my foot down on ex-wife texting FDH about the kids eaely in the morning and after a certain time of night. It's unhealthy and disruptive. I would tell her she needs to decide to put some boundaries up with him or you won't be there.

Gabriels Mom's picture

Submitted by Gabriels Mom on Tue, 02/26/2013 - 9:20am

If they are such good friends and they get along so well why aren't they together? If they aren't talking about their kids, there should be no contact.

12yrstepmonster's picture

Submitted by 12yrstepmonster on Tue, 02/26/2013 - 9:47am

My ex and I are on friendly terms.....and when one is having a major life crisis we have called each other.
I helped him through his second divorce. He was there when I was thinking of divorcing DH.

We are respectful of each others spouses, but flip side is we've been in each others,lives for 22 years as DD is now 20. We were only married for 3-4 years and have raised a daughter who survived quilty parenting, without manipulation. Who loves both parents very much. Who has not always liked her step parents, but has always respected them.

I shook his hand at high school graduation and said job well done, we survived and thanked him. I used to call him weekly when dd was young, sometimes daily. As she grew up I called him monthly to discuss what was going on in her life. During our conversations we talked about family, and mutual friends.

He dated two or three single moms that didn't like the contact. I know he quit dating them. I know one was furious about it and he looked at her and said, you boy has problems you are constantly talking bad in front of him about his dad...its not getting you anywhere. My ex and I have a good relationship and I'm really close to my daughter. I'm not jeopardizing it.

I do think you have to set comfortable boundaries for both of you. She needs to work with you as you do get to determine what works for both of you.

12yrstepmonster's picture

Submitted by 12yrstepmonster on Tue, 02/26/2013 - 10:05am

Or the Gf isn't threatened by their friendship.

I would suggest OP to talk about his issues,with his Gf when he isn't mad - to find a solution.

My dh ex used to cut his hair, until inappropriate conversations started taking place. Then all I said was if my ex was working on NG car and talking about his sex life currently vs when he was with me what would you tell me to do? He said find a new mechanic....I said find a,new hairstylist.

I think is ask the same question to OPs GF- if OP was doing what she is would she be ok with it?

misSTEP's picture

Submitted by misSTEP on Tue, 02/26/2013 - 10:15am

This is not healthy for a marriage and is not a normal level of contact. If they can still be friends, why didn't they work on their marriage instead of divorcing?

Hanny's picture

Submitted by Hanny on Tue, 02/26/2013 - 10:17am

This is total disrespect for you and your marriage. Your wife needs to make a decision...and I think she already has. Sorry to be so blunt, but no one should have to put with this, and you know what, she will probably never find anyone who will.

fedup13's picture

Submitted by fedup13 on Tue, 02/26/2013 - 9:00pm

My DH's ex used to try and force friendship on him, she would always want to talk to him at drop offs/pick ups, would always talk to him too much on the phone about her life, her problems, shit not at all related to the brat they share, DH would just ignore her, but he was never firm with her either. On the other hand, I, was not allowed to even mention my ex's name. EVER. I was supposed to act like that part of my life never happened, and his excuse was always, "It is different you don't have a kid with him." BULLSHIT. I completely agree with bulletproof. Divorce equals total disconnect except necessary conversations about kids. DH couldn't stand the ex when he WAS with her, so he damn sure didn't want to talk to her after, but he didn't have the balls to tell her to leave him alone because he didn't want to cause trouble with her and then she use the kid against him. When he finally did tell her off all hell broke loose.