If you and the kids are not mentioned, then you get nothing...

I can't imagine why he would not want to include you. If my husband passes, he is leaving me everything and trusting me to distribute to SK, which of course I will. I am also the only person who would get his life insurance, and vice versa. And I am putting the same on my will. You are husband and wife, it is unacceptable that you not be on there.

I think if he didn't update his will, even though him and x are divorce, she still has a claim to whatever is in the current will. If you have a shared bank account or other assets with both your name on it and the will says nothing about it, then it goes to you, unless of course the skids contest it. I'm wondering why he doesn't want to add you or take her out completely.

My DH too updated his will the first weekday after we got married, leaving everything to me and I had to promise to not foget the skids in the event that something bad were to happen.

My best friend's husband left her at 40 to run off with an 18 year old - really. She remarried and upgraded husbands totally in every way possible. Her ex later committed suicide (realized how stupid he had been). Even though he was remarried (to the child) he left my friend everything.

My friend being decent (plus her new husband is ultra successful) put it all in trust for the kids.

Here's a suggestion. Insist he put you on the deed, the life insurance, everything. And that he stipulate you get 0% of ANYTHING. Then you'll see where he's at.

Definitely go to an attorney-as soon as possible. I really am concerned for you. The laws do vary from state to state. Where I live, if your DH died, his ex would get everything. I know of a man who died. He was with his new wife for years, but he had not changed his will, which left everything to his first wife. First wife got everything, and threw second wife out of the house. I have heard other horror stories.

My DH and I have life insurance policies. I am his beneficiary and he is mine. His (rotten) kids cannot touch those policies. We are leaving everything to each other in our wills, but the life insurance policies are separate and not tied to the will in any way. So, if I had left everything in my will to say, my dad, my dad would still not have any claim on my life insurance.

Depending on the laws of your state, his kids could absolutely throw you out of the house. They will get his life insurance, all of it, unless he adds you in.

Why does he not want to change his will? That makes no sense. He should also get a life insurances policy for you, or put you into his current one. God forbid he passes, you are going to be in a mess.

I commented on this in someone else's post. I am reposting with an addition:

It depends on what state you are in, SideStepped. Here, in South Carolina, the way it works is the spouse gets half the estate, the part of the estate not listed in the will, and the natural children of the decceased gets the other half to split. If you die your SKids get nothing unless you put in your will that the get something. They have no legal rights to your estate, only your spouse.

My DH ex is from PA. When her father died he had a will written up. Seeing as how when the hag moved out she left most of her crap at the house I have seen the will and the communications with his lawyer after his death. In his will he left his personal estate to his kids and his joint estate to his new wife. His grown kids ended up splitting around $5,000. All of his life insurance went to his spouse as well. She got their childhood home, all the cars, the savings, the joint checking, the insurance, all contents. He had a little over $3900 in his personal savings and the rest came from the sale of a motorcycle that was in his name. The lawyer deducted around $500 for finding them and the paperwork and charged for his time for the sale of the bike. So, you could say they got screwed. The wife who was planning to divorce him was sitting pretty good. Of course the hag and her worthless sister didn't deserve a dime from the man. They treated their father like crap. The law up there was whatever is in the will is how it goes. The lawyer said they could not contest the will.

So, from the sounds of it you would get nothing. His will states the ex gets it all and the insurance goes to his kids. You are going to be screwed. The only way you would get anything would be if his will stated the ex gets his personal estate. That would mean that anything in his name only goes to her, for instance, the house. But anything in both of your names would go to you, they can't touch joint estate items if it specifically states personal estate in the will.

However, my dad's parents never divorced and recently both passed. Two uncles were fighting my dad and his two sisters over the estate. My other uncle could care less. The uncles just wanted everything, even worthless junk that meant nothing (I'm talking paper plates and thumb tacks). All families can fight, mixed or not. It is very important to have a will.

My DH and I do not have one but are working on it. In order to protect one another we are stipulating that our personal estates go to our natural children. A small life insurance policy that DH carries on himself will go to his two kids, they are grown. I carry insurance, a large sum, on him that goes to me. My benefits go to DH and he will raise my children. My personal items will go to my natural children. Anything we have together, our home, cars, savings, etc, goes to DH or me, whoever is left. If we both go at the same time it is to be assumed HE went FIRST, that way my children who are still in elementary school will be well provided for and my sister will raise them.

Sit with a lawyer, have a frank discussion, you can protect you and your kids without him. And if he will leave you homeless if he dies first then I would cease paying any of the repairs or mortgage on the home. I did that until DH agreed that he needed to look out for me since the kids are of age. They will be able to have a place to stay but not to own.

Oh, before contacting a lawyer, look into any life insurance you already have. My life insurance pays for the cost of a lawyer and drawing up a will. I can do this every year and it is free to me and DH just for having the insurance. This applies to all people I have covered with life insurance, my SD's who are over 18 are able to use it as well because we carry a small policy on them just in case. This can save you a good deal of money just for reading the fine print.