I finally stopped allowing SD11 to have different rules than the other 4 kids in our house. Mainly because DH has noooooo problem correcting my kids. If DON'T correct his then I start to get bitter. I explained this to DH and he said, go for it. If you see SD11 doing something wrong, call her out on it.

What's interesting, though, is that her siblings try to cover for her and take the heat? Example #1: I strongly believe that parents should not be maids. All of the kids try the "can you bring me x,y,z thing" and I always say to ALL of them "you've got 2 legs, get it yourself". So one night we were having dinner. With 7 of us at the table these are not Martha Stewart meals and I expect everyone to get their own utensils. Well, SD11 sulks to the table, sits down and says, "I don't have a fork". I said, "you know where we keep the forks, go get one." Cue the Mexican stand-off. She just sits there not moving. Everyone else goes dead quiet and then her brother SS9 gets up, gets her a fork and brings it to her. I said, "SS9 that was very nice of you, but SD11 can get her own fork next time."

Example #2: Last night, SD11 was eating Hershey kisses and left a pile of wrappers on the counter. I said, "SD11 can you please thrown these away." Again SILENCE. She doesn't move and doesn't answer me. So I say, "right now please" and SD9 pipes up "I'll do it!". Again, I say "no, SD11 can do it herself". Finally she slowllllllllllyyy walks to the kitchen and throws the wrappers away.

It's just curious behavior to me because my 2 bio-sons would NEVER do this for each other. If I ask one of them to clean up a mess that their brother made they say, "no way, I didn't make that mess" - so why are SD11's two siblings so willing to cover for their older sister? I don't get it???

Anyone have any ideas as to why this is happening?