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Not home for the holiday.

SideStepped's picture

Submitted by SideStepped on Wed, 02/13/2013 - 6:51pm

Last Thanksgiving was the worst holiday in my 5 years with DH. Since his belligerent adult kids don't like me or my 4 bio kids, I decided that I wasn't cooking dinner for DH and his. I'm really sick of the skids' attitudes. Since my BD27 and her hubby recently bought a house I asked them to host dinner for my side. They agreed and were even excited to have us. We discussed inviting DH but not the skids and that's what we rolled with. What happened was actually expected but still shocks me. DH said he would check with his kids to see what plans they had. As I started to see the writing on the wall, I was sad realizing that DH and I would not be together for the holiday dinner. Turns out that he was irritated that I refused to host but agreed to spend some time with my side and the rest of the time with his. Being overwhelmed at that point I told him it wasn't necessary. Which only freed him up to attend holiday dinner with his XW and her extended family. What did I expect? Feeling a little ashamed but we had such a great holiday me and my bios! The more we get together, together, together... Seems the more I spend time away from DH and the skids the happier I'll be.

Comments

LONGTIME SM's picture

Submitted by LONGTIME SM on Wed, 02/13/2013 - 10:53pm

Wow. He had the nerve to go spend the holidays with the ex just because you wouldn't cook for his adult babies. Next year let him invite the adult brats and order out for them. Pop it in the oven like you slaved all day - then make an excuse to go "borrow" something from your children or just straight up tell him your going to go vist your children now and dinner is ready to be served. Then leave. . Go enjoy your day with your children, he is with his and for all he knows you did cook for them. Everyone's happy and no BM.

oldone's picture

Submitted by oldone on Wed, 02/13/2013 - 11:04pm

If my DH had a meal with BM - not even on a major holiday - just a weekday lunch even, I would disown him.

My SS is an adult (in age if not in maturity) so they need not meet over him.

When we first got together DH stopped by her home to just say hi. I had a truly hissy fit. They'd been divorced for 20 years so he thought of it as just a friendly visit since he'd moved back into town. wrong.

He now knows that is ABSOLUTELY UTTERLY taboo in my book. I get to make the rules in my life. He of course can do what he wants but there WILL be consequences.

DH knows from my past history that when I cut someone off - be it best friend or ex they are just utterly gone from my life forever. So he knows I could do it. I learned the hard way that do-overs rarely work.

DH not only loves me but he loves the life we are living.